Amber and Aaron

Amber and Aaron

The Fun We've Already Had...

  • Graham Tomas born July 31 at 5:04 P.M. weighing 8 lbs, 12 oz.
  • December 2, 2011: PREGNANT!!!
  • Paisley Kate arrived August 21 at 5:38 P.M. weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz
  • DUE DATE: August 25, 2010!!!
  • Dec. 14, 2009- PREGNANT!!!
  • Oct. 07,2009- Had elective D&C.
  • Sept 28, 2009- No embryo on ultrasound. :(
  • Sept 15th, 2009- We found out we're PREGNANT!!!
  • Sept '09- Aaron had varicocele repair.
  • July '09- IUI #1 with HCG shot= No such luck
  • April '09- Ovarian drilling surgery, followed by hospitalization for uterine infection
  • Jan-Mar '09- metformin + 3 rounds of clomid= no ovulation
  • Dec. 11, 2008- Hysterosalpingogram (Fancy word for shooting dye through the ovaries. OUCH)
  • Nov '08- Sent to RE. Tried metformin alone for two months (No ovulation)
  • Oct '08- Diagnosed with PCOS based on amenorrhea and crazy hormone levels.
  • June '08- Aaron convinced me to start trying.
  • June '04- Got Hitched!

Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Ramblings of a Crazy Pregnant Person

I thought that maybe I wasn't having ridiculous cravings. Sure, I've been eating a TON of Taco Bueno and fruit (not together usually), but it's never urgent. And mainly it's been the food aversions controlling things. I still can't get near meat or the smell of meat without wanting to heave. But today, something changed.

I needed pizza rolls. No, I didn't mean to say I wanted pizza rolls. Needed is the only word that fits here. It felt like I would cease to exist if I didn't get some delicious, lard-filled, golden squares that ooze with deliciousness and "mystery" meat.

So, we headed to Wal-Mart. First, I reload on fresh fruit and Plum-Smart juice (the bowels have been on strike). Then, we head to the freezer section where I will find my pizza rolls. Except, the shelf is EMPTY!!!

What? Where are the pizza rolls??? Now, I found cheese and supreme types, but I didn't come here for cheese or supreme. I wanted pepperoni. But there were NOOOOOO pepperoni on the shelf. And to make it worse, the little price tag was there saying where they should be so I just continued to stand there and stare at the very empty space expecting a bag to miraculously appear and save the day. I was contemplating tearing the whole store apart to find that one precious little bag of pepperoni pizza rolls that I knew was hiding out somewhere.

I'm pregnant for goodness sake. Isn't there something to protect things like this from happening? Doesn't anybody in this store understand how much I need these rolls? CAN ANYBODY HELP ME???

And just as the breakdown is nearing the point of me being escorted out of the store, I pace to the end of the aisle and see a section of pizza rolls at the endcap. And guess what? They had PEPPERONI!!!

Crisis diverted.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AARON!!!

Aaron-
I'm not too much for being overly cheesy, so bear with me on this post. I think the pregnancy hormones have made me a little more sentimental than usual, which is interesting since they've also made me a lot more mean too... I think it'd be fun to tell a little of our history for the blog readers who don't know how this twosome came to be!

We met in 1998 when I was 17 and you were 18. You had no interest in me, and I decided that you were worth chasing. Mainly because you ignored me. You were about to head off to OSU and I was staying home to attend the "fancy" community college. But after visiting you in Stillwater for the year, I decided I had to follow! It was the best idea I've ever had.

And after 5 years together, you finally decided to give in and propose. Problem was, I kinda acted like a turd on the night you planned to do it. Should have taught you a lesson. But you tried again the next day with me in my sweats and my "morning-after-a-party" hair.

And in June of 2004, we got hitched!!! It was without a doubt the most exciting day of my life. (And the best wedding ever!)You graduated from vet school and we bought our house in OKC. Soon after, I graduated from PA school. Seemed like everything had been smooth sailing for us. We thought, hey, let's just have us a baby! Little did we know...

I love this picture of you after running the half-marathon last year! And I could have included the picture of you in the bubble bath once we got home, but I'm a good wife...

Giving quite the show in Vegas! Pretty sure if veterinary medicine falls through, we've got a back-up plan for you! I've never seen anyone work a pole like that...


You've stood beside me through it all... the doctor's visits, the surgeries, the heartache, the tears. You've celebrated beside me during the good times. You've never let me down. I love you more than ever before and I can't wait to have this little baby of ours. You'll be the best "baby-daddy" ever! Thanks a ton for all of the support you've given me. I couldn't have survived the past 2 years without you by my side.
Hope you have a HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY!!!
P.S. Don't go expecting a gift this year. Baby Gil is all the gift you need...



Thursday, February 25, 2010

Doctor's Appt

I went in for my regular check-up with my OB today which was nice and anti-climactic. After 2 years of doctor's visits that included invasive ultrasounds showing an empty uterus and cystic ovaries, many blood draws, and generally bad news of some sort, it was such a welcome relief to not dread going to the doctor. (aka: "not have to shave my legs since I get to keep my pants on.")

Now we already expected that things were going to go well, since I have a doppler at home that I can listen to the baby with every day (otherwise known as stalking). And sometimes two or three times a day. And luckily my baby has been very cooperative up to this point, always allowing me to at least momentarily find that adorable, little heartbeat.

I realized today that it was the 1st visit in a LONG time that I haven't been pacing in the waiting room with my heart racing wondering if this was the visit that I'd hear that we'd never be able to have kids. Or that this treatment wasn't working and it was time to move on to something more invasive. Or after getting pregnant, hearing that this pregnancy too was going to fail.

And most of all, it hit me that I am so lucky and so grateful to be where I am today. Of course I'm terrified. Until that baby is safely in my arms, I will be scared to death. And then I'll worry about newborn stuff. But I know so many of you out there who have been going through this longer and have suffered so much more than I have. And it isn't fair at all.

So, I just want you to know that I will NEVER forget where we've come from to get to this point and I will never forget all of you who are still dealing with it all. It is a permanent part of who I am and who I will be as a mother. This baby has two parents who have struggled for his/her existence. And we will love him/her with all of our hearts. And we will always know that we, for some unknown reason, won the infertility lottery when our number was drawn.

When people comment on me being pregnant (after noticing my bump), it's so hard for me to just say thanks or we're excited. Because there is SO much more to this story and this pregnancy means so much more than that to us. It is, hopefully, the final chapter in an emotionally, physically, and financially draining part of our lives that finally has a happy ending.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Maternity Bras, Exercise and Other Such Fun

I broke down today and shopped for some maternity clothes. I have 3 very thoughtful friends who lent me lots of excellent maternity clothes which I love. There were just a couple of other items I needed to complete the wardrobe- mainly winter clothes. Aaron and I have vowed to not buy anything baby related until much farther in, so I felt like this was jinxing us. But when nothing fit for work this morning, I knew it was time. I can't exactly let my belly hang out of my shirts. And my pants are struggling to stay buttoned and zipped.

So, off I went. I find it hilarious that pregnant women no longer have actual pant sizes, you are now just classified as S/M/L/XL. Things were going well until I stumbled across the maternity bras. WTF???? What in God's green earth is that section about? I became overwhelmed, hyperventilated, got dizzy and quickly found my way out of there.

I did come out of the experience with a great pair of black pants and a cute new shirt.

Tonight, I went back to the gym. I finally feel like I can scrap myself off the couch long enough to go. And I really enjoyed it. I walked on the treadmill and then went to a toning class that I used to go to. Everyone was super excited to see me and told me how cute I looked. So, I left feeling like a million bucks.

I'll end with a funny story. We told my in-laws this past weekend that we're pregnant. It was my mother-in-law's b-day and we were at a restaurant. Of course, she was thrilled (first grandbaby on both our sides) and when she got up to go to the restroom, she decided to tell someone about it.

Unfortunately, she chooses the lady at the table next to ours who is holding a baby. She turns to her and says, "oh, you're a grandma too. I just found out I'm going to be a grandma!"

The women replies, "actually, I'm the mother."

Not a good mistake to make. Lesson learned.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My Expanding Waistline

What kind of pregnancy blog (still weird saying that) is complete without embarrassing photos of the belly? I've always prided myself on my flat tummy, yet I've never been so proud of my new and quickly growing bump. I feel prettier than ever and I waited SOOO long to see my belly grow to the point where I could no longer see my nether-regions. Plus, I use to hate it when we'd eat a huge meal and my belly would hang over my pants. Now, it's already hanging over when we start eating. Awesome!

So, here's my 14th week pic. I definitely had the most growth this past week. People I don't know that well are now noticing that I'm pregnant, as are most of my patients. Bad news is that they're wanting to make stuff for me and they keep touching me. YIKES!!! This is the PG-13 version with partial nudity. Viewer discretion is advised...

Hard part right now is that my shirts are getting ridiculous. I have a couple of winter maternity shirts that friends have loaned me, but most are summer. Which will be the majority of what I need since I'm due in August. So, a lot of my shirts don't quite meet up to my pants right now. Not really the look I'm going for, so I'm going to work on getting some longer shirts!

One thing I've already learned since growing my "bump" is that everyone feels that it's an appropriate conversation piece. I had a co-worker say that I look about 5 months pregnant. A patient said that they have a friend who didn't show until 8 months and she wore her size 0 jeans until then. Then they added on that they bet I'm jealous. Ummm....what exactly does that mean? That I'm too chubby? My baby is growing too well? Sorry if I've slacked off on the crunches!

I came home slightly hurt about all the comments and the reactions to how far along I am, but sweet Aaron convinced me that I'm so petite that my belly just shows earlier. Maybe it's not true, but it's very kind. And I've only gained 2 pounds, so it's not like I've put on a lot of padding. So, I'm going to continue loving my new curves! If you have suggestions on what I can say when people insult my growing physique, I'm open to them...

And lastly, HOORAY FOR THE SECOND TRIMESTER!!!! Hang in there, Baby Gil!!!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Our pregnancy up to Now

I'm sure you all have some questions for me since I kinda left you out in the dark on the whole pregnancy thing. Which by the way was SOOOO hard. I've shared everything on my blog and to have to keep this from you was excruciating. We just decided that we didn't want our real-life people to know yet which meant not talking about it anywhere. So, I'm again sorry for leaving you out, but I know you understand.

Well, I had my D&C in October and had a period 2 weeks later. My doc thought I should maybe sit one cycle out so I did and then had a period on November 17. I tracked my cycle with OPK's so I knew the day I ovulated. I continued to take my metformin three times a day (which I'm still on and will continue throughout pregnancy), but we weren't even seeing the infertility doc.

I had a really good feeling about this cycle and knew I was pregnant at 3 weeks, 6 days when I started having the same dizzy feeling I had the first pregnancy. I took a test at work and it was positive. Now, from here you might think I jumped up and down and celebrated. You would be wrong. I kinda felt like I was about to be screwed over again already. And my wounds were VERY fresh from the miscarriage the month before.

We had an u/s at 5 weeks showing that I had a gestational sac in my uterus. Good sign. Then we went in a week later for the very important u/s. This is the one where my world fell apart last time. Last time, there was no baby. This time, we held our breath and I swear my heart stopped beating until I saw that little tiny dot on the screen with a little flickering heartbeat.

Another hurdle cleared, but we still felt like we had a marathon ahead of us. We continued to go in at least every 2 weeks and time after time, we were told that things were progressing well. But telling that to two people who are terrified of losing it all again is kinda useless.

We are so thrilled to be moving into the 2nd trimester. I had a NT scan last week which looks for Down's syndrome/spina bifida/etc and everything looked great. We got a great video from it which shows Little Gil just kicking around. I should also explain that we call the baby "Gil" after our infertility doc. We greatly contribute this child's existence to this man and will be forever grateful. However, the child will have a different name once out of the uterus.

And for Katie who asked about when the u/s picture was from, it was from my NT scan at 12 weeks, 2 days.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

I'm Going to Let You in on a Little Secret

My dear blog readers,
Those of you who know me well know that I do not keep secrets. It's actually physically impossible for me to keep a secret. So, it's going to really surprise many of you to find out that I've been staying silent about something pretty big.

So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to the little miracle that came into our lives 13 weeks ago:

We wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while to make sure things went okay this time. It's been a very terrifying 13 weeks and we are just now starting to feel that things could actually go well. We feel incredibly blessed to be pregnant with this baby and we are so grateful for every minute.

To my friends who are still battling infertility,
I'm not even sure where to start. You've been there with me through it all. You've held my hand and given me a shoulder to cry on when times are tough. You always know the right things to say because you've been there before. And you pray and hope for things to turn out well. And I can't say thank you enough. On the flip side, I've followed blogs where the writer ends up pregnant and although I'd feel happy for them, I knew I was at a point where I couldn't read any further. So, if you feel that it would be easier on you to stop following me now, I understand completely. Just know that I appreciate everything you have given me and I continue to pray for you all. It's a hard road and we will always be connected for having went through it together.

I've got lots of catching up to do with you all now that you know, so keep posted. I'll be posting pretty much daily for a little while to get you caught up with what's been going on for the past 13 weeks. And then we've got 27 more weeks of pregnancy to talk about... (buckle your seatbelts...)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Home from Vegas

We had an awesome trip to Vegas and got home late last night. I came back to work today which was kinda nice so that I could get caught up on my paperwork and then start fresh on Monday. So, we gambled $6.00 while we were there and lost it all. Such a disappointment. :)

The highlight of the trip was Garth Brooks! The concert was SOOOOO much better than I even expected. We were on the 3rd row so we were literally 10 feet from him most of the time. He came out wearing jeans, work boots, and a hoodie sweatshirt. Very casual.

He sang songs that he loved growing up which ranged all over the board. Then he sang all of his best-known songs. My favorite part was his duet with Trisha Yearwood (it was Valentine's Day). They sang "In Another's Eyes" and "She's in Love with the Boy". I couldn't believe how great they sounded. Plus, I love those songs!

He played his guitar and sang without a band. It was very low-key and personal. He even took about 6 requests from the audience. A young guy approached the stage holding a ball cap and security was ready to escort him out, but Garth stopped them and shook the guy's hand. He then traded caps with him.

What surprised me most was how funny he was. He would tell little stories in between songs about his childhood and he is incredibly hilarious. It just reminded me why I have LOVED him forever!

So, if you get a chance to see a Garth concert- GO! Even the 2 very unexcited-to-be-there guys behind us enjoyed it. I just hope you don't lose all of your money like we did. (ha,ha).

Friday, February 12, 2010

VEGAS!!!

Aaron, my mom and I are headed off to Las Vegas tomorrow morning. He's going for his veterinary conference and I go every year because, well, it's Vegas! And how do you pass up such a fun trip?

I'm even more excited because we're going to get to see Garth Brooks in concert while we're there, plus we're going to two other shows that I really want to see. One is KA (cirque du soleil) and the other is La Reve (sounds dirty, but it's not).

So, I'll be taking a momentary pause from my computer time. I've been keeping up on everyone's blogs lately though, just not commenting. There's a lot going on in the lives of my blog-friends and I'll be eager to read all of your updates when I get home.

That is, unless I win the big money, and then I may just disappear to a caribbean island somewhere. In that case, it was really nice knowing you all!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Someone please, get this woman a book on etiquette

It was just one of those days. You know the kind. When you feel like you're the target on the show "Punked" or "Boiling Point". Something insanely impossible happens and you find yourself looking around the room for the hidden camera or waiting for the whole production crew to pop out of a plant and laugh their heads off at your misfortune.

Except no one shows up. So you're left there accepting the fact that it really did just happen and someone really was that rude/stupid/inconsiderate... Maybe you'd like some details.

It's my half day on Wednesdays which is very lucky because it was definitely 4 hours too many. I had a brand new patient in this morning who is from the Phillippines. Seems nice, deep accent, too many questions about my personal life. Here's how the conversation went (Her grammar was still not perfect so I'm keeping it that way for the story.)

Nosy britches: "Are you married?"
Me: "Yes."
Her: "Any kids?"
Me: "Nope."
Her: "How long you married?"
Me: "Almost 6 years."
Her (with a complete look of what was either astonishment or disgust): "You married 6 years and no kids? You no ready or you have trouble?"

And then she sat there. Staring at me like I had grown a unicorn horn out of my forehead. Or like I had just admitted to being a Nazi. I would love to tell you what my response was but I can't really say that I had one that another person could actually see. The room started spinning, my pulse was racing, thoughts started swirling.

I could have answered with a million responses. "Um, yeah, we've had what you might call a little bump in the road. We're almost 2 years out, $10,000 invested, 3 surgeries in, and we just had a miscarriage. But really, we're just dragging our feet."

"Nope, we're not ready. Totally irresponsible party people, we are. I just stop drinking long enough to come to work and then it's back to the club for me."

"We're actually going through a divorce." "I'm a lesbian." "It's none of your F-ing business."

But when I didn't respond, she instead decides to throw in there, "well, I got married at 23 and we had our 1st baby at 25 and then another at 27. We only waited 2 years."

The worst part was, it almost seemed like she was insinuating that I'm a bad wife. And she's probably right. But not on this account. I'd do anything to make Aaron a father. I just refuse to clean his laundry, cook him dinner or clean our house adequately.

I left her room and told my nurse the story, and she looked at me with a shocked expression and said, "wow, she has no idea what thin ice she's on."

Crazy thing is, she's probably at home telling everyone she knows this same story and saying how weird she thought I was!