Amber and Aaron

Amber and Aaron

The Fun We've Already Had...

  • Graham Tomas born July 31 at 5:04 P.M. weighing 8 lbs, 12 oz.
  • December 2, 2011: PREGNANT!!!
  • Paisley Kate arrived August 21 at 5:38 P.M. weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz
  • DUE DATE: August 25, 2010!!!
  • Dec. 14, 2009- PREGNANT!!!
  • Oct. 07,2009- Had elective D&C.
  • Sept 28, 2009- No embryo on ultrasound. :(
  • Sept 15th, 2009- We found out we're PREGNANT!!!
  • Sept '09- Aaron had varicocele repair.
  • July '09- IUI #1 with HCG shot= No such luck
  • April '09- Ovarian drilling surgery, followed by hospitalization for uterine infection
  • Jan-Mar '09- metformin + 3 rounds of clomid= no ovulation
  • Dec. 11, 2008- Hysterosalpingogram (Fancy word for shooting dye through the ovaries. OUCH)
  • Nov '08- Sent to RE. Tried metformin alone for two months (No ovulation)
  • Oct '08- Diagnosed with PCOS based on amenorrhea and crazy hormone levels.
  • June '08- Aaron convinced me to start trying.
  • June '04- Got Hitched!

Monday, December 27, 2010

Maybe I'm not such a bad mom!

Last night we went to sleep at 10:30 with our video monitor on the highest volume (the one that allows me to even hear her farts in clear detail).  I ensured this multiple times to avoid the same misshap from the previous night of it ending up muted and me ending up on the DHS Most Wanted List.  

I woke up for the first time at 5:30 this morning and thought two things:  1.) that the monitor must be off again.  2.) that my breasts were likely about to explode since I decided to skip pumping before bed, but then I realized that they had already leaked on the sheets so we were okay.  :)

Even though she's clearly doing fine on the monitor and is silent, I have to go check on her for my own peace of mind and maybe a little to try to make up for the night before.  She's asleep on her belly again and isn't with her pacifier.  I decide to pump and then lay back down.  I fed her at 7:15 and she didn't wake up until 9:15 this morning! 

So, one of two things happened.    Either she actually can sleep through the night and has decided to do so again.  OR she has given up on trusting me and just doesn't even want to bother crying.   I'm hoping it's the first choice.  Anyways, I've slept great for 2 nights now and I really don't want to go back to the waking up all night!!!  And I've retracted my nomination for mom-of-the-year due to my negligence but I'm feeling better about things now!  Thanks for all the reassuring comments.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Accidental Ferber Method...

Did I hear you ask how we slept last night? Well, I can only answer for myself because our monitor muted itself somehow!  I put her down at 11:30 (she is such a night owl) and I woke up wondering why in the world it was so bright in our room in the middle of the night.  Umm, maybe because it was 8:00 am...  So, I roll over to look at our video monitor which is on my nightstand and she is asleep on her belly.  I panic. 

By the time I get to her room which seems 10 miles away now, I am imagining the worst.  What I find is a sleeping baby (on her belly) who has kicked off her socks, mittens (her hands get cold at night), and light blanket.  Her pacifier is nowhere close to her.  Yet, she's sleeping soundly.

So, I feel like the world's worst mother this morning.  I slept 8 hours solid for the first time in 4 months, but my baby may have needed me.  I checked her face for dried tears and her eyes for puffiness but found neither sign of prolonged crying.  She smiled brightly at me this morning when I got her out of her crib like she didn't blame me for my mistake.  And she ate like a champ when I got her up, possibly because she was starving. 

And there is a chance she never cried at all.  The last couple of weeks, she's been getting up once or twice a night but it's really only that she rolls around and makes some noise and I can't go back to sleep.  So, I always just go on in there and feed her knowing that she'll sleep soundly if I do.  Maybe she doesn't really need to eat or even have me come in there.  Point is, I feel terrible and I'll be absolutely certain from here on that I can HEAR on the monitor!!!

My Most Wonderful Present Ever (and certainly the most expensive)

She loves her Jenny Jump Up already.  She doesn't know how to bounce in it but she can turn around and it puts her on eye level with our dogs who she loves to watch.


This baby LOVES bathtime!  We have started playing in there about 30 minutes at night and my tub has now been taken over by bath toys.

Wish this one wasn't blurry, but she was being SO cute!

Her grandma and her on Christmas Eve

Paisley and her Mama

And lastly, here she is this morning snuggling with her daddy.  Before you get really concerned about our parenting, his eyes are that squinted because I had to turn the light on in our bedroom to get a good picture.  He's not recovering from a wild Christmas party.  :)
Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!!!  For those who are waiting on their miracle babies to arrive, I'm hoping 2011 is your year!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

ICLW

This is my first real participation in ICLW.  Let me explain.  I signed up to do the August edition, but Miss Paisley decided to enter the world on the day it started that month.  So, I could have tried to comment on other blogs that day during labor, but I'm just lazy I guess!

Here's our story for those who are visiting...  My husband and I met in 1998, married in 2004, and decided to add a little person to our house in 2008.  Unfortunately for us, I ended up diagnosed with PCOS and he had a hydrocele causing MFI.  We tried metformin, clomid and IUI's without success.  In fact, I just wouldn't ovulate no matter what we did.

That's when my RE recommended ovarian drilling.  Sounded like the craziest idea I'd ever heard to drill holes in my already non-functioning ovaries, but guess what?  It worked!  I started ovulating immediately after and became pregnant in August of 2009.  That baby wasn't meant to be for us and I had a D&C in October. 

But luck was on our side again since I found out I was pregnant for the 2nd time in December of 2009.  We spent much of the pregnancy worried that bad fortune would find us again, but our little one stuck around.  We didn't find out the gender even though we had LOTS of ultrasounds, and on August 21, 2010, we welcomed our beautiful little girl into the world.   My labor lasted 9 hours, I had a wonderful epidural, pushed for about 10 minutes, and delivered the most incredible child ever born.  :)

Infertility changes you forever.  It links us all together in a way that nothing else can.  I know many of you who are stopping by are still trying and I want you to know that I pray for you all every day.  I've continued this blog to give others hope in the days when you just don't feel it.  We've all been there.  And I'm lucky to be standing on this side of things now.  But I'll never forget how fortunate we are and how tough it was to get here.  Thanks for hearing our story!!!

P.S.  My goal is to have 100 followers by the end of ICLW.  When I started this blog, I never thought I'd have over 10.  :)

Monday, December 20, 2010

4 month check-up

 We went in for Paisley's 4 month check-up today which is hard to believe!  HOW can my tiny new baby be 4 months old already????   This is her 1/3 birthday.  :) 
I hate to brag- but that is one adorable baby!  :)
We don't really have any great pictures together, but this one is close...
 Paisley weighed 12 pounds, 5 ounces and is 24.5 inches long.  She's between the 25-50% now which is a little lower than she has been, but the pediatrician isn't concerned.  She said some babies start off a little bigger than their genetics planned for and then they seem to taper off into the range they belong.  Otherwise, everything is perfect and she's still eating like a horse!

Playing with her chi-chi, Tinkerbell.
Hard to imagine life without this little princess.  This has been such a learning process and I'm finally in the position that I feel like I'm in control (or so she lets me believe).  Good bye restful nights, naps, long baths, and clean clothes.  Hello spit up, poopy diapers, sleepless nights, and breastpumps.  I wouldn't trade any of it!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Hmmm....

Just when you go bragging about how you have it all figured out, your baby is doing so good, yadayadayada, they go and make you look like a fool.  Trust me, the last 2 nights I have paid for talking about how Paisley was sleeping through the night in her crib.   She has woken up every 3 hours (on the dot) to eat a massive amount and then doesn't want to fall right back asleep.  She's still eating a lot during the day too, which makes me question what is going on???

We started giving her cereal a week ago when her nursing was getting out of control in frequency.  Like every hour.  My nipples were starting to rebel.  So, I added in cereal as well as avocados which she LOVES.  She's taken to eating really well.  She doesn't hardly waste any on her face or clothes, she just gulps it off the spoon, swallows and is ready for more.  In fact, she eats about 1/2 an avocado mixed with 2 ounces of breastmilk in one sitting.

SOOOO...  I realize she will only be 4 months in 4 days, but what should I do about her hunger?  I feel like breastmilk simply isn't cutting it alone.  And I didn't give her avocado the past 2 days, just some cereal so maybe that has something to do with her lack of sleep.  Oh, and she isn't taking naps right now either.  This child can thrive on very little rest and remain happy.  Guess who can't?  ME!

Also, our nursery is the coldest room in our house.  Any tips on what to do to keep her warm?   How do you feel about space heaters?  What about blankets?  I've been giving her a lightweight (very breathable) blanket that she loves to cuddle up with, but then I'm nervous about it all night.  Advice would be welcome!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Those Two Pink Lines...

One year ago today, I went to work at the clinic.  Nothing unusual about the day, until I felt a familiar dizzy feeling while sitting down.  Only one other time in my life had I felt something like it and it was during my 1st pregnancy.  I knew immediately that I was pregnant again.  The month had been perfect.  I had a positive OPK, my cervical mucus finally did what it was supposed to, timing was just right. 

It was my first real cycle following my D&C and I was so hopeful that we could get pregnant again right away.  I knew that it was the only thing that would help with the pain of losing my 1st pregnancy.  So, I nervously went and got one of our tests (I work as a PA) and took it.  A faint line appeared pretty quickly and my heart sank.
That is my mom wearing the Christmas sweater in the background- not me  :)
Why would I feel so sad about something so great?  Something I'd wanted so much?  Because I had so much fear of losing yet another pregnancy already.  I couldn't survive another miscarriage yet.  And since I had JUST had my D&C, it was hard to seperate this pregnancy from the 1st.  It felt like one continuous nightmare.  I couldn't imagine how the world would play such a cruel joke on me again.  But I also couldn't believe that my body would finally do something right.  Nothing had worked out in our favor up until this point.   


 Our medical visits had consisted of us hearing one set of bad news after another.  These lab results didn't look good, this month didn't work, maybe you should consider donor embryos, we think you both need surgery, you have a uterine infection, the baby doesn't have a heartbeat...

She LOVES to play airplane!!!

But, here we are one year later.  I have a beautiful little girl following a rather enjoyable pregnancy.  My whole life has changed so much and it all began with two perfect pink lines.  Now those two little lines are a smiling, happy 3 month old (almost 4) who fills my heart with joy.  She was worth every single bit of the fear and all of the tears.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Best Night Yet!!!

Paisley fell asleep at 10:45 after nursing and slept soundly until 6:30!!!  I went in and nursed her then and she put herself back to sleep quickly and slept until 9:45.  I am amazed at how well she's doing with this considering that she slept in our bed and hated her cradle.  Now I wish I wouldn't have worried so much that I had screwed up.  Paisley was ready to go in her crib now and she's sleeping well in it.  And I wouldn't trade those precious 3 months with her snuggled up to me!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Quest for Sleep

Just a quick update since I am supposed to be getting other things done, but I didn't want to leave you all in the dark about how our crib training is going.

The 1st two nights were a breeze, she woke up once each night to eat, but otherwise did great.  Last night, she woke up every 3 hours to eat, tossed and turned, and continuously fussed for her binky.  I about wore the carpet out making the trek across the house to her room which seems 5 miles away at 4 am.  I finally brought her into our bed where she slept soundly until 10 am.  This allowed us all to get good sleep and I got some much-needed snuggle time with my princess.

Tonight is a new night.  We'll see how it goes and where she ends up...

Friday, December 10, 2010

Night 1: Success

I went into this crib transitioning with a strong feeling that it would be a train-wreck.  As Aaron was going to bed, he even mentioned that he'd probably see us in a few hours as we creep back into the big bed.  Luckily, we were very wrong!!!  Here's a breakdown:

9:20 pm-  Breastfed her.  She falls asleep.

9:25 pm-  I lay her down asleep in her crib.  Feeling like this will be short-lived and disaster is only moments away.  Prepare for the worst.

10:00 pm-  She wakes back up already which makes me say, "yep, I knew she wasn't ready".  But I watch her on the monitor and she just happily plays in her crib.  I leave her alone even though I want to run in there to play with her.  I hate missing out on fun time!!!

10:20 pm-  I replace her binky which has fallen out wishing you could tape it to their face (only kidding) and she puts herself back to sleep.  I'm know amazed that she can do this and I begin to cry.  My baby no longer needs me...  Aaron has to comfort me in the living room and remind me that she isn't moving out of state with some unemployed hoodrat boyfriend.  Just sleeping in her crib.

10:25 pm-  She wakes back up which almost makes me happy because I realize that she DOES still need me after all.  I am currently pumping so I throw 3 ounces in a bottle with some cereal (I just started that this week) and go to her room.  She allows me to feed her the bottle (first time for this) and burps really well.  I change her diaper and rock her for about 5 minutes.  I lay her back down drowsy but awake and pray for the best.

10:50 pm-  She is back asleep without any problem.

11:45 pm- I wake up to check on her and notice that "Trixie" (the teenage girl who lives across the street who we think is a hooker) has a late night customer.  Paisley is sleeping peacefully and our neighbors are wishing I'd do the same instead of spying on them.

2:15 am- I'm wondering why in the world I decided to sleep in the recliner in her room instead of my own bed since this is going so well.  I snuggle back into the recliner though at this point.  Not ready to be that far away from her.

4:20 am- I replace her binky since she's being a little restless, but not fussy.  Again, try to think of a way to get that sucker to stay in place all night...

5:40 am- She starts to cry, so I get her out and nurse her.  She never even opens her eyes and goes right back to sleep.  I lay her down and she snuggles back into her crib.

7:50 am-  She starts to wrestle around and I talk to her softly to get her to wake up.  We start our day.

So, she slept really well from 11:00 pm until 5:40 am.  And even then she just took 5 minutes to eat and went right back to sleep until 7:50.  I am so super excited about how well that went!!!  Let's cross our fingers that tonight goes as well.  (I did use the white noise machine). I'll update again tomorrow.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Crib Transitioning 101

The time has come for Paisley to pack her stuff and get to moving into her own room.  This is far from easy for me to admit because I LOVE having her next to me.  Her sweet baby breath on my skin, the gentle way she snuggles in, the ease of nursing her without getting up.  Alot of it is laziness on my part and I get a full night of sleep because our bed keeps her sleeping peacefully.  Our bed = Baby Benadryl.

BUT... it's kinda like when someone buys a cuddly little cub and then suddenly can't figure out what to do with a big, crazy lion when it gets bigger.  Yeah, it's a stretch, but this child is starting to wrestle/abuse me.  She loves to grab parts of my face and pull/twist.  Not a good way to wake up.  And I always know when it's time to cut her nails by how many scratches I have on my face.  Her new favorite is to curl her freakishly strong legs up to her chest and kick me in the belly. 

The princess had 9 months to kick me all she wanted.  My tummy needs a break.  And she needs her own bed to scoot all over.  I refuse to upgrade to the california king size due to a 12 pound baby. 

My thought is it's time to poop or get off the pot.  I have to stop putting this off because I'm dreading how horribly it's going to go.  I don't look forward to returning to sleepless nights.  And I will miss her like crazy!  But she has a pretty, cozy room we made just for her.

Now, any advice on how to do this???  How did this go for you experts out there?  Will I ever sleep again?

I'll update tomorrow on how this fun project is going...

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Milestones....

Seems to have been a BUSY week for Miss Paisley!  She is changing so quickly right now I can hardly believe it.  This week, she is smiling more than ever, giggling more (even though I can't ever get enough), and playing with things she'd previously been uninterested in.  She likes to sit in her exersaucer now even though her little legs don't touch and play with the toys.  She can grasp things now which is super sweet.

Yesterday, she started rolling over from back to belly every time I'd try to change her diaper on our ottoman or the floor.  Then today, she started doing consecutive rolls from back to belly to back all the way across the floor!  Of course, I think she's a genius.  Probably she's just preparing to be a VERY busy baby.  And letting us know that we might start thinking about baby-proofing in the near future...

She's becoming more talkative and makes lots of heartwarming noises.  She still says "ah-goo", but now also makes this adorable growling sound, and is trying to blow raspberries.  She loves to stick her tongue out and thinks it's really funny when I make fish faces at her!

I can't believe I've become "that" mom who goes on and on about seemingly silly things that my baby is doing!!!  Those silly things sure seem magical now!!!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Random Post

I have several topics to talk about, so this is a hodge podge of mostly useless info!

Weight:  I've lost some!!!  My weight had fallen quickly from 150 to 130 after Paisley exited the uterus, but then it froze there.  I started going to Zumba and step class three days a week last month and have lost 4 more pounds since then.  My goal is to get back to 120 before we get pregnant again (if we're that lucky), and I can start the whole cycle over...  My clothes are finally fitting a little more, but I did buy some jeans in the next size up which is MUCH more comfortable!  I just never knew this would be so tough.

Sleep:  Totally jinxed us when I bragged about her.  That night she woke up twice to eat, but then slept through the night again last night.  So, who knows?  But she is back to only sleeping in our bed.  The night before last she only slept one hour in her cradle before waking up.  So, last night I just put her with us to start.  Problem here is that I LOVE sleeping with her.  It's the sweetest thing in the world to wake up next to her warm cuddly body.  I like her sweet hand that she rests on my chest and the amazing smiles she gives when she first wakes up.  Call me a pushover.  I deserve it.  But you know how much nicer it is to wake up by her instead of an ovulation chart and thermometer?

Breasts: Feeding is still going really well, I'm luckily making enough to feed her and save about 10 ounces extra a day.  I have no idea why I'm worried about stockpiling it because this child HATES bottles.  She took one from my mom last weekend as a last resort when she figured out I wasn't home to feed her.  She took 6.5 ounces which I thought was probably good.  Obviously I don't know how much she's eating, since my breasts don't have measurements on them.  You know what they do have though?  Stretch marks.  My belly escaped without any, yet my poor boobs have a ton.  Mainly on the bottom side, which I guess is to be expected when they grow 2 cup sizes.  It's all worth it though so Paisley can get milk, and I can save money on formula.  :)

Schedule:  I'm thinking that I may try getting her on a more predictable eating schedule.  Do your babies eat on a schedule or just as needed?  It would be easier for when I go back to work part-time since she'll be with Aaron.  That way he can prepare her bottle (hope she didn't hear me type that word) ahead of time.  Plus, it would be nice for me to know when she might get hungry.  I was thinking of doing every 3 hours since it seems to fall around then anyways.  Does this work for anyone else?  Any suggestions?  As far as sleep schedules, she has NONE.  She usually goes to sleep around 10:30, but hates waking up early.  She'd like to stay in bed until about 9:30 and is not too happy when I wake her up earlier than that.   Naps are all over the place and last anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours. 

I'm still learning more and more about her all the time and feel like I'll never quite understand what I'm doing!