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Showing posts from March, 2013

Crib Monkey

Paisley is a crazy little climber and isn't afraid of anything. She loves to walk across balance beams at Gymboree and swing by her legs at the playground and leap from our couch straight to the floor pretending to fly. Yet she hadn't ever climbed out of her crib, much to our surprise. Until yesterday. I went to get her out in the morning when she began hollering for me and when I walked in the room she said "Paisley do it" as she swung a little leg over the side of the crib. She quickly scaled the wall and dropped to her feet on the other side as I watched in amazement. I actually clapped for her because I was so proud of my big girl. And the happiness on her face was just too sweet to ignore. Then the period of time formerly known as "nap time" arrived and I laid her down hoping for a nap even though she has been cutting them out all together for the most part. After thirty minutes of laying her down, she was still making a bit of noise so I

Anonymous riff-raff

To the people who warned me that I would get spam comments after turning off my annoying security captcha: you were right. I get several a day now. However, I have found two positives in this. The first is that it boosts my comment numbers so I look more popular. Don't scroll through to see that half of the comments are spam, just look at the grand count. Wow, you'll say, she has such a great response to crappily written posts. The other thing I enjoy is how funny the comments are. The broken English is hilarious. I had one yesterday that said "you managed to hit the nail upon the top" which is just comic genius. Great spin on a saying that I thought everyone knew. The comments are 90% compliments which who can't enjoy more of those... "I do not know who you might be but you certainly will be a famous blogger in the event that you are not already." My confidence just soared. And then there are those with constructive criticism which all

Big steps

Our kids have been competing this week for the title of Most Awesome Kid Ever. And I don't have a clue who to award the prize to. In one corner, weighing in at a dainty 28 pounds, with sass like no other, we have Paisley. This week, despite her consistently crappy attitude and horrendous toddler mood swings, decided to POOP on the potty. You heard it. She's been peeing well for a long time, but yesterday she just hopped up there and took care of some business. When she was done, she said "Paisley pooped on potty. M please." School gives M&M's for potty training and she responds well to that. So she asks for them here too. Funny thing is that I'm not nazi mom about treats so she could have some anyways.... In the other corner, tipping the scales at 18.5 pounds with chubby thighs and an unquenchable love of breastmilk, we have Graham. This child has been sleeping worse and worse for the past few months until I decided he needed some ferberizin

I don't need a binky, I've got my mom

This week marks the beginning of the end to breastfeeding. Because homeboy bit me. Three times. My left nipple (Graham's apparent nemesis) is so sore I can barely wear a bra. Those two tiny teeth are pure evil. Problem is he doesn't like sippy cups yet and refuses bottles still. Sooo, my tender parts must be risked. Other thing is he wants to nurse every 2-3 hours all night still. And I get the strong suspicion that he's using me as a binky. Paisley took a binky so when she woke up, I replaced the binky in her mouth. Other kids use thumbs. What do you do with a kid who likes neither?!? If you take the time to look up "titty baby" in the dictionary, you'll see Graham's smiley face in that spot. He still loves nursing. His little eyes go rolling back in his adorable head and peace just washes over him. So sweet. But this must end at some point. By a year at least. I am not an "extended nurser". You get one year and then it&

The Pot Called the Kettle Black

OMG. What a hypocritical turdhead I am. Thank you ever so kindly for pointing out that I, in fact, require captcha in order to post on my blog. I had absolutely NO idea!!! I could have sworn I clinked emphatically on the "hell no" option when asked if I wanted to make my poor, sweet readers enter mumbo jumbo in order to leave me a comment on my crappy blog!!! I have done what I think I needed to do to remove that from being a problem. Can someone let me know if it worked?!?

Parenting 101

Let these confessions serve as a learning tool for all of you out there striving to be a better parent or as comfort to those of you making your own mistakes. Here goes Round 2. I locked both of my kids in the car on a very warm summer day when Paisley was barely two and Graham was no more than two months old. I had to have Aaron bring his keys home from the clinic 10 minutes away so I could get them out. Luckily, Paisley thought I was just being silly and Graham slept through most of it. They were super sweaty when I got it unlocked finally and I felt terrible!!! I sometimes skip baths if we get home late and the kids are already asleep or very tired. Even if they did get really dirty. And sometimes I can't recall when Graham's last bath was so I baby wipe him down. My kids have both rolled off the couch as babies. For some strange reason, they always learn to roll for the first time while laying on a piece of furniture that I have temporarily walked away from. No