Many mornings, I have actually felt a tear roll down my cheek before I even manage to pry my eyes open. That is never a good sign for how the day will then progress. I've learned that grief comes and goes in brutal, unpredictable waves. The stretches of "good" days has definitely gotten longer with every passing day and I start feeling confident that I have things under control. And then... BAM. The sadness and anxiety hits me like a train and I may spend a day merely surviving. This has all taught me a ton about self-care. I have to be extra mindful to get my sleep, rest when my body and mind are screaming at me to do so, and avoid any stressful situations as best as I can. Because grief is EXHAUSTING. When I say that, I mean it feels similar to the worst flu you've ever had as far as the fatigue goes. I will literally have to lay down and often even sleep to manage the overwhelming sensations it brings. What has really been interesting to me about it all
Smiling Through the Rain
To say that my life has been a rollercoaster would be the understatement of a lifetime. In the past 2 years, I went through betrayal by my spouse of 15 years, and both of my parents passed away. I'm now on a journey to redefine who I am and what I want in this world.