Smiling Through the Rain

This body of mine has beared two babies in a 2 year period of time. It has shot one out of the lower region and had another cut out of the belly. These breasts are now open to their 2nd booby buffet patron. My hair is constantly being ratted by my well meaning daughter who asks for "hair, please" when she is relaxing on my lap and wants to hold my hair. My clothes usually smell of some type of bodily fluid. And my make-up is frequently slobbered off my face due to sweet open mouth kisses on my cheeks or forehead. So it's all lead me to the place where we are now. P90X. Otherwise known as the cause of my impending death. I started two days ago and knew how difficult people said it was. But I thought, "I have worked out my whole life. Surely I can do this." Except it is on a different level of difficult. It is like a circus act meets strongman competition meets marathon runner kind of workout. And it kicked my butt. The fitness test they hav...

We are officially and most certainly shutting down the baby making warehouse. I have absolutely no doubt that this is it for me and I feel great about ending that chapter. We have our son and daughter and feel very complete now. Sometimes it feels overly complete in fact. :) So it's strange to change gears back to prevention of pregnancy. I tried the mini pill (aka: Amber's psychotic medication). Progesterone pills made me flippin crazy when I was using them for infertility but I was assured that the lower dose in the mini pill would cause no problems. Except it did. It just took longer to kick in, but then the anger and the self pity took over my normal personality. So much so that I was texting my OB on a Saturday begging her to order my IUD. Stat. She unfortunately likes to do them with ultrasound guidance so I'm scheduled for the 23rd. And it sucks because I'll likely only have the IUD for less than a year because once I wean Graham I need the com...

Everyone and their dog has an opinion about breast feeding and who should do it and for how long and where and how. We've all gotten our fair share of advice and unsolicited thoughts on the matter. For me, breast feeding has been the only thing I've excelled at when it comes to child bearing/raising. I failed miserably at getting pregnant and only carried 66.6% of my pregnancies to term. Labor and delivery gurus would probably give me a failing grade since I almost died waiting for my first epidural and then had a c-section on the 2nd. But the babies have been well fed. And I'm thankful for the money saved and the ease of the nursing. However, I know how freakin tough this is for many women and lactation consultants just don't seem to get that. When Graham was in the hospital for meningitis, I got a well-meaning phone call from the lactation nazi on staff. She was asking how nursing was going and reiterating how important it was that I continued. I hadn...

I didn't know anyone who had both types of deliveries so no one could tell me what they preferred other than what they'd already had. People with vaginal births think that's the only way while caesarean mamas mostly praise that route of delivery. Sooo, I went into my surgery considering it almost a type of science experiment. It would be a strange one to enter into a show and I wouldn't recommend pictures to demonstrate... But, here's my comparison: 1.) C-sections are much quicker. My first labor experience lasted 9 hours which is actually short for a 1st time mom. The second was over in 2 hours from check in to baby in arms. And most of that was sewing me up. 2.) Vaginal deliveries take a LOT more work! The pain, the waiting, the pushing. Even with my amazing epidural, I was tired. Every muscle in my body was pooped out. 3.) I don't have any urinary problems this time. After my vaginal birth, I peed a little every time I sneezed or coughed. ...

Today, I read the blog (snips-snails-puppydogtails.blogspot.com) of a girl I consider a good friend even if we've never met. She has a precious little boy named Grayson who is very close in age to Paisley. Long and heartbreaking story short, they found out yesterday that he has a disease that is terminal. And it breaks my heart to the point that I've actually cried several times today thinking of him. This is such a wonderful mother who gives her all to taking care of him and making his life as enriching and happy as she can. I can't stand that she has to deal with this now. All day since reading the bad news on her blog, I've held my kids a little tighter. I've kissed them more and done fewer chores and soaked in each little second with them. And I'm going to remind myself every single morning from here on out to appreciate it all. Send her some encouragement when you get a chance. I have no words for this situation and I can't even imagine wha...

I was shocked and at the same time, prepared, when they sent me to the hospital.  I called Aaron to head that way since he needed our relief vet to cover the last few hours of the work day, I called our friend Todd who was doing my anesthesia.  Much to my relief, he was just finishing an amputation so he was available immediately.  And of course, I called my mom who was watching Paisley.  They had just left her doctor's appointment where they were told she just had a virus.  THE virus that would turn into Graham's viral mengitis. I drove myself to the hospital and on the way, called one of the girls that works at our clinic so she could come watch Paisley this evening so my mom could come to the hospital.  I texted everyone too so they would know that we were getting a head-start on this baby's arrival.  Got in to L&D and changed into my flattering hospital gown.  They really need to do something about those because when you're pregna...