Amber and Aaron

Amber and Aaron

The Fun We've Already Had...

  • Graham Tomas born July 31 at 5:04 P.M. weighing 8 lbs, 12 oz.
  • December 2, 2011: PREGNANT!!!
  • Paisley Kate arrived August 21 at 5:38 P.M. weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz
  • DUE DATE: August 25, 2010!!!
  • Dec. 14, 2009- PREGNANT!!!
  • Oct. 07,2009- Had elective D&C.
  • Sept 28, 2009- No embryo on ultrasound. :(
  • Sept 15th, 2009- We found out we're PREGNANT!!!
  • Sept '09- Aaron had varicocele repair.
  • July '09- IUI #1 with HCG shot= No such luck
  • April '09- Ovarian drilling surgery, followed by hospitalization for uterine infection
  • Jan-Mar '09- metformin + 3 rounds of clomid= no ovulation
  • Dec. 11, 2008- Hysterosalpingogram (Fancy word for shooting dye through the ovaries. OUCH)
  • Nov '08- Sent to RE. Tried metformin alone for two months (No ovulation)
  • Oct '08- Diagnosed with PCOS based on amenorrhea and crazy hormone levels.
  • June '08- Aaron convinced me to start trying.
  • June '04- Got Hitched!

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Worst Parenting Day Ever

Well, my kids hate me. For real. Paisley has been living up to the Terrible Two's like it is her life mission to be the poster child. But today is special. Let's recap because misery loves company. And I definitely need some encouragement through this.

Wake Paisley up at 8 am. She smiles and acts silly for approximately 30 seconds until the evil overtook her and she started whining and demanding things.

I attempt to get her dressed while she repeatedly tells me "don't like that" and removes each article I just put on her. Finally, I cram her into her clothes and then cuddle her so she can't wiggle out.

We get to the coats and she picks her silver one. Fine. Head to the car at a turtle pace. Then she spins around and beelines it back to the front door while her poor brother is in his seat in the car. She is insisting on wearing her pink coat.

I try to refuse which causes a major meltdown. In desperation to get her to school, I put her in the stupid pink coat. Drag her to the car where she decides she wants to just stand next to her carseat. Uh, nooooo.

The battle that ensued to get her in the seat could have landed us on Cops for a domestic disturbance. It then occurs to me that I could really go for a night in jail. Sounds like a spa day to me. They'd serve me food, let me nap an even sleep uninterrupted! And don't you get books there?

Anyways, back to the story. On the way to school, she wanted to talk about the things on the side of the road and cars driving by, etc. I was happy with the change in attitude.

Until we get to school. She now wants her silver coat back on. And then she has to throw an enormous fit when we get to her room. I shovel her into the poor teacher and nearly run out of there.

But the worst happened this afternoon. Graham pooped all over his outfit on the way to pick her up, so he was in his carseat rocking a diaper only. Then he decided to throw a very rare outrageous fit as we head into the school.

His screeching was quite noticeable to everyone in the building who had ears, drawing lots of unwanted attention. But then, I go to pick her up and she runs away from me!!! I usually am greeted with a giant hug and excitement. Not today while my nude baby is screaming like a piglet in the hallway.

She runs all over the room yelling "nooooo" until I catch her. Then she kicks and screams as if I'm abducting her. Lovely. So my walk of shame included a naked, screaming baby in a carrier in January and a furious toddler kicking me. I would never go back except I need to!!!

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Time for some sleep training...

Sleep training is equivalent to trying to make a 10-year-old feral cat try to learn and use a litter box. Well, at least for me it is. I apparently have the IQ of a two-year-old when it comes to getting my kids to sleep.

Paisley was a struggle. But yet, she was in her own crib by now and she took several long naps every day. My sweet boy wakes me up about three times to nurse overnight still, sleeps in our bed and naps in five minute increments all day.

Part of the issue is he is still in our room because she is still in what should be his crib. Also, he is just not as good at staying asleep through noise as she was and we're always on the go with her.

But I am sooo ready to get a full night's sleep. I'd like to be able to move around without fear of waking my tiny co-sleeper. And I realize that means I have to do some work...

We leave for Vegas in two weeks so my plan is to do this when we get back. I figure that trip would just put us back at square one if I bothered doing it now. So, I'm going to bite the bullet and buy a 2nd crib. I'll put it in her big girl room where I can sleep in her big girl bed as long as I need to.

And I hated cry it out but it sure did work for her quickly. Not painlessly, but it gave us results. Why can I just not have a baby who sleeps?!?

Tuesday, January 29, 2013


Sweet Graham has been an "easy" baby his whole life. He nurses well, sleeps decently as long as he's close to me, and rarely cries. He is quickly soothed, loves being drug around to all of Paisley's adventures, and smiles at everyone.

He just seems like one of those little people who genuinely likes his life. And it's such a welcome change from my first newborn experience that nearly wrecked my marriage and sent me to the crazy house. Seriously. She was BAD... :)

But I took a picture of my angel today and caught the looks of an ornery boy peeking out from behind that sweet baby face. Uh-oh. We may be in trouble....

Sunday, January 27, 2013

School Safety

With the recent tragedy in Newtown, I am already freaking out about sending my kids to school. I realize this is "old" news by now, but it really changed my whole perception on things. Thank goodness I have a few years, but I have to wonder if things will be any better then. People are calling for reform, but honestly all I hear about in Oklahoma is people defending their guns. I can't help but feel a bit insulted that in the wake of so many tiny children being murdered that people are more interested in defending their right to bear arms than to look for a way to make our schools safer.

And I'm not saying we should or shouldn't change the gun laws. I don't know what needs to be done. The assault weapons seem excessive to me. Not going to be using that to kill a deer. Just saying. And there isn't any open conversation happening with my gun loving state.

These things just didn't happen when I was in school. You felt safe and secure there. Sure, we had fire drills which were awesome because class got interrupted and you got to go outside. And we did the occasional tornado drill too. But we didn't have to learn what to do if some crazy a-hole came into our class with a weapon. We were innocent. And that's how it should stay.

I was more concerned about another kid giving me a wedgie or that I'd forget to take my lunch on meatloaf day. And I realize that the risk is still pretty small but it's increasing in frequency rapidly. These kids should not have access to guns. They shouldn't be playing violent video games. And parents need to be a much more noticeable presence in their kid's lives.

I guess I don't really know what will fix this problem. But I do know that my babies are my world and I will do anything in my power to protect them. Because I'm about one school tragedy away from homeschooling and I have NO business trying to educate anyone! I still can't label all 50 states on a map (probably only about 20) and elementary math would kill me...

Thursday, January 24, 2013

A toddler's intuition

Paisley is becoming such a little grown up. Of course she is exhibiting massive amounts of independence by doing everything she can by herself (dressing/eating/getting in the car) and choosing the things she eats/wears/plays with.

But she also seems to have an interesting sense of what is going on. Recently my Mom's dog passed away and he was around since I was 17. So I cried when I hung up the phone an Paisley was so sweet in comforting me and saying that "mama's sad". She was beyond good the rest of the day.

But last night in our lengthy bedtime ritual that entails pee-peeing on the potty several times, excessive tooth brushing and lots of hand washing, we also talk about a picture that is on the counter.

Both Aaron and I are in it and she loves to talk about the picture of "mama and dada". But suddenly last night it occurred to her that she was missing and she asked "where Paisley go?"

I thought it was so interesting that she would note herself missing and then she followed up with "Paisley in mama's belly". Now, she wasn't in my belly unless you count her egg that was hanging out in there with all the other eggs wondering how they would EVER get fertilized with my PCOS jacked-up ovaries.

But the fact that she realizes she was once in my belly was amazing to me. She knows somehow that I carried her and that she was in there. And so I rocked her extra long last night just savoring the sweet silence with my adorable little baby girl who is growing into such an incredible person.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Take that, Blogger

Apparently, whatever issue my blogger tried to have with me posting pictures is resolved because I just posted a ton of them!!!

I was too cheap to pay their stupid monthly fee for pictures so they have up on me and just let me post then anyways...

I should mention after my last post where I am super proud of my post baby body that even though I am back to my pre baby weight that I am not nearly as confident about myself. Lots of insecurities have crept in...

Two and a half years ago (precisely when I gave birth the first time), the aging process apparently kicked into high gear. I look back at pictures and I looked like a baby still. Even though I was 30. But now, the gray hair and wrinkles and bags under my eyes have me looking 10 years older.

No more getting ID'ed for R-rated movies or spray paint. I look like I could get my AAA membership any day now and discounts at all the local buffets.

Complicating the situation even further is that my poor breasts are now open to a second booby buffet patron, I generally smell like baby bodily fluids and I haven't bought new clothes in 3+ years due to being either pregnant or nursing for that long.

So, Paisley is learning name-calling and teasing already. She has always called my mom "doo-doo", but now she calls her "doo-doo poopy pants". And then she laughs at herself with her cute little hand over her mouth like she's super proud of herself.

Where does this come from?!? She has such a sense of humor already and it is so much fun! I love her imagination and ornery personality!!! This may be the reason for my aging...

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Swimming Fun

We got the chance to take the kids to an indoor pool this weekend and we had a great time!!! Paisley is becoming quite the swimmer and loves the water. And sweet Graham is already loving it too.

It was my first debut back in the bikini since popping out baby número dos 5 months ago. And I am so pleased to say that I think it was okay. I didn't see anyone dry heave and all the essential parts went into the suit and stayed there. Thank you Graham for being an amazing nurser. :)

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Hiring Woes

As office manager of our veterinary clinic, one of my most important duties is keeping the books and dealing with taxes. So the end of the year and beginning of the next is always busy for me as I complete our books, fill out and submit tax forms and prepare our paperwork for our accountant so that she may decide how many more thousands of dollars we owe our dear government. This all terrifies me because I feel like I'm going to end up in jail for a totally accidental error...

So right now is not the best time for me to spend on my least favorite job responsibility. Hiring.

This leaves me shorthanded with a pile of applications. Everyone wants to work in a vet clinic. They picture it as playing with cute, healthy puppies all day while they skip around and everyone giggles joyfully.

Unfortunately, that's a small part of our job. And we require employees who can learn a lot and multitask well. They are responsible for answering phones, selling products at the front desk, filling prescriptions, restraining animals, assisting in surgery, running anesthesia, cleaning the clinic, etc.

There are only 5 girls that work with us so we are all very close meaning we have to LIKE our employees. And it's much nicer if they like each other too.

Which eliminates so many applicants right away. I am amazed at how BAD some of these resumes and applications are. Things that eliminate you from a job with us (all have actually happened):

-wearing pajama pants to your interview.
-asking if a criminal felony makes them ineligible for a job with us. Uh, yeah.
-asking if we run background checks and/or do drug testing. Guessing I already know the results on those.
-Being fired from many of your past positions.
-listing 20 jobs on your résumé with the longest being only a few months long.
-not having a car. We don't trust that your mama should be able to bring you.
-listing skills on your résumé that are grade school such as "cut and paste". Makes me feel like you're really reaching into thin air.
-nearly crying during your interview because you are still having PTSD about your childhood dog's death.
-getting woozy when we walk by the surgery room because blood makes you sick.
-displaying your lovely boob tattoo during your interview. I should not be looking at a tata tattoo at work.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Someone call for an exorcism

We have a demon living in the house. It comes out at the most inopportune times and strikes without warning. There is no way to control it or predict it. And we are seeing it around more and more as of late.

It lives within my adorable little 2-year-old.

She can be happy and adorable one minute. Then out of absolutely nowhere, she loses her flippin mind. It's like something evil possesses her and starts making crazy talk. She suddenly doesn't like anything ("Paisley don't like that") and the demands start pouring out. "Paisley NEEDS water", "Turn TV on", "Blankie pleeeeease".

And while you're attempting to fulfill one of Her Majesty's many ridiculous requests, she is already spouting out the next 50 at an auctioneer's

By the time the cycle of insanity has ceased due to the diva either a.) falling asleep or b.) finding someone else to drive crazy, I am so mentally exhausted that I find it hard to remember how to breathe much less carry on with my day.

Let's take a routine morning lately as an example. I go wake Sleeping Beauty because she rarely wakes up on her own by the time we need her to. She grumbles as I get her out of the crib and halfway down the hall is already demanding her milk. She wants to be placed in the boppy pillow (perfect for a toddler to cuddle) and then covered with a blankie. The one she requests which changes frequently. Sometimes it changes by the time you get back with the one she JUST asked for and she decides that's not the right one anymore.

If you don't already have a cartoon on the TV, you've messed up. Then you just leave her alone. You can lay down unmoving beside her but don't talk to her or try to get her ready. And certainly don't make eye contact. I usually choose to snuggle her and soak up the quiet.

After about 30 minutes, I tentatively start to get her dressed realizing that there is a 90% chance of rebellion. She will refuse to pee in either her diaper or the potty at this point even though her diaper is still bone dry from overnight and I know that her teeny bladder is bursting.

She'll wait though until we get Graham loaded in the carseat and I gather all of our stuff before announcing that "Paisley go potty".


Then she decides on which coat ahe wants to wear along with several unnecessary items to bring which are usually large and heavy, such as her playdoh set or dog guitar. She will circle my car 4 times before climbing in all by herself slowly. "Paisley do it. Move away, mama" as she drags her tiny body and large baggage with her.

As soon as we are finally in the car 45 minutes later regardless of the sucky weather I have been standing in, she wants to hand me her crap she just had to bring with us as soon as I start driving. Perfect time to reach back for a keyboard or tea party set.

So, I'm late for everything nowadays. And I usually look like I've been taken out by a freight train. Please just say a sweet little prayer for me. And ignore the fact that my two year old seems to think I'm her well-paid personal assistant. She is just teaching me what they meant by "Pick Your Battles."

Monday, January 7, 2013

Saving the Planet

Gymboree has always been a fun place for us to take our kids and let them explore and burn off energy. Well mainly Paisley, but Graham will be running soon enough. But I've blogged before about feeling different from the other moms there.

I described them as movie-like moms who create amazing homemade crafts and clothes and meals. They join tons of parenting type clubs and receive all of the best mother magazines. They have a large group that regularly gets together for play dates.

And it all just makes me want to run the other way as if you're inviting me to your Tupperware party or other such girls only affair. I bail out the front doors and toss my semi-clean, ill-behaving children into my always dirty vehicle that is overflowing with large (non-car friendly) toys Paisley insists on bringing with us, sippy cups half-full of milk that we forgot a week ago, and a carseat lined with spilled Cheerios. I rush to the house that I have cleaned by a housekeeper and put on a TV show that I know will keep Paisley busy for a minute while she eats her non-organic, totally unhealthy snacks.

Today in baby class, the other 3 moms that were there with their newborns started talking about disposable diapers and wipes. They lost me at the part about scraping out the poo. I just got up and excused myself back into the wasteful, non-green world I live in.

And don't get me wrong. We recycle. All of our plastics and glass and paper. But anything that contained human excrement is NOT reusable in my book. I won't judge you for using cloth, don't judge me for my disposables!

But then another lady was talking about her birth plan to deliver at home and I just felt my head spinning. She's one that totally gave me a hard time when I was scheduled caesarean because she just couldn't understand why I wouldn't want a home delivery. Not only did I not want a home birth, I wanted lots of pain meds. And the thing is I can do jumping jacks this time around without peeing on myself!!!

The evening classes are so much more my style. They're full of working moms who barely have time to bathe the kids twice a week much less cook dinner at home. I give them so much credit because I don't even do as well as them and I only go in part-time!

Note to self: even though you have time to go to gym during the day with the SAHM, you do not fit in there. Stop trying. :)

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Learning about Death

Veterinary medicine is obviously a huge part of our lives. We own a vet clinic where we regularly take our kids while we're working. Paisley absolutely loves it there and feels comfortable just roaming around the whole place like she herself owns it.

She is known to greet all of our clients and play with every dog who comes in and comfort the pets during surgery. This little vet wears her stethoscope around and listens to everyone's heartbeat. She is willing to hold or pet anything we give her the chance to.

But one area that is going to be particularly difficult is when a pet dies.
And unfortunately they do that. A lot. Our job is not just seeing cute puppies and kitties. We are there for end of life too.

For example, this week we had to put down a neighbor's dog due to cancer. Paisley was there and wanted to pet her as she laid on the table. I knew she would have a fit if I moved her away and there was no chance of distracting her while we did it, so I let her sit there. Dressed up in her adorable vet outfit holding her medical tools.

She just kept petting her and saying "it's okay" and when the dog closed her eyes and rested her head down Paisley said softly "dog, dog night-night". Almost as if she understood.

We took her away for the cleanup part which I just don't feel like she's ready for. But how do we do this with her? Do we just let her be part of it from an early age so that it's just part of being at the clinic? Do we shelter her from something that is inevitably going to be part of her life? She also sees surgeries, blood and other procedures on a daily basis and has no reaction to those because she is so used to them. They're just interesting normal things to her.

I think it's fair to say that our kids are going to have an interesting life!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Sleep: yep, still talking about it

If I went back through all of my blog posts, I have probably written about 100 focusing on sleep. Or usually, the lack thereof. For 28 months now, rest has been an elusive creature. We have tried many things to turn our non-sleepers into book perfect sleepers. Much to no avail.

Paisley is now sleeping in her crib all night for about 12 hours and taking a 2-3 hour nap in there. This is the best it's ever been. Problem is- the crib should be Graham's by now.

So, Graham is still sleeping with us in our bed. And honestly, I think even if the crib were available, he would be anyways because he just doesn't EVER sleep for long stretches. Not for naps or overnight.

This sweet pea has always been good overnight meaning he never cries or stays awake. But he literally wakes me up every 1-3 hours to nurse. Sometimes it's just a little and sometimes it's a lot.

I never need to pump in the mornings like I did with her because he's eaten enough to keep the jugs near empty. So it's hard to imagine that he doesn't need the food. And since he doesn't take a binky, he uses me for that too.

So, even if I did decide over the next few months to evict him from our bed, I don't even know what we'd do. His bed is still being used by a girl who is finally sleeping really well, he likes to nurse all night long, and how in the world do you let a baby cry it out when they are in a room next door to their sibling???

Aaron keeps reminding me that I just need to enjoy this. After all, he is my last baby and I guarantee he won't need me to go to college with him so we can co-sleep. :)