Amber and Aaron

Amber and Aaron

The Fun We've Already Had...

  • Graham Tomas born July 31 at 5:04 P.M. weighing 8 lbs, 12 oz.
  • December 2, 2011: PREGNANT!!!
  • Paisley Kate arrived August 21 at 5:38 P.M. weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz
  • DUE DATE: August 25, 2010!!!
  • Dec. 14, 2009- PREGNANT!!!
  • Oct. 07,2009- Had elective D&C.
  • Sept 28, 2009- No embryo on ultrasound. :(
  • Sept 15th, 2009- We found out we're PREGNANT!!!
  • Sept '09- Aaron had varicocele repair.
  • July '09- IUI #1 with HCG shot= No such luck
  • April '09- Ovarian drilling surgery, followed by hospitalization for uterine infection
  • Jan-Mar '09- metformin + 3 rounds of clomid= no ovulation
  • Dec. 11, 2008- Hysterosalpingogram (Fancy word for shooting dye through the ovaries. OUCH)
  • Nov '08- Sent to RE. Tried metformin alone for two months (No ovulation)
  • Oct '08- Diagnosed with PCOS based on amenorrhea and crazy hormone levels.
  • June '08- Aaron convinced me to start trying.
  • June '04- Got Hitched!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Tornado Aftermath

Five months after the deadly tornado that tore through my city leaving a wake of destruction in its path, houses are popping up all over.  Businesses have rebuilt, street signs are repaired and the debris is cleaned up.  People have healed.


My mom and I were running errands by our house yesterday and just decided to stop by the elementary school (Plaza Towers) where 7 young kids were killed when the tornado leveled their school.  We've been by here a few times to check for progress or visit the small memorial on site.  

Yesterday was the most encouraging because so many houses are being re-built and most of the tragic destruction is removed.  It almost looks like a normal new neighborhood, save for a few seemingly abandoned houses that still look like a warzone.   It felt good to see that.  Even the school has been completely cleaned up and the beginnings of construction are underway to replace it.

But on the far side of the school, the marquee still stands.  It is a mangled up piece of metal, clearly demonstrating the devastating effects of the storm.  On it reads, Awards Assembly May 20th.  It's as if that sign is a permanent fixture frozen on that terrible day.  Nearby are 7 crosses symbolizing the innocent babies lost here.  They are wooden and beautiful and eerie.  They shouldn't have to be here.

And as we were slowly pulling by, a young man in a truck pulled up and waved politely at us.  He was in a work truck and I assumed he was there on business.  Until he got out of his truck and walked purposefully towards the roped off makeshift memorial.

He crawled into the cordoned off area and before I realized what was happening, he reached out and placed his hands lovingly and desperately onto the 3rd cross.  The grief was PALPABLE.  It radiated through the air and seemed to stop all time.

I froze in the car, goosebumps all over, beginning to realize what I'd just witnessed.  A father's loss.  Still just as fresh and raw five months later.  Completely unaffected by the positive changes and growth occurring all around him.  Simply a parent who had suffered the unthinkable loss of a child.

It reverberated throughout my entire soul the rest of the day and still affects me this morning.  I wanted to turn around and embrace him.  Tell him that others still remember too.  Make him feel not so alone.  

Grief is still very much here.  We don't have as many physical reminders anymore, but the wounds are far from healed.  My heart goes out to those that will be spending their first holidays without these kids soon.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Not the Easiest Job

When someone described parenting as a job, they were mostly correct.  It is a lot of work.  The part they seemed to have missed was that you are completely unpaid.  And usually underappreciated.  And you never get to leave "work".  The job continues 24/7. 

You may think when they go to bed at night that you have you're "break" time.  I disagree.  You are still on call.  Those little munchkins may wake up crying or with explosive vomiting or diarrhea or with a sudden desire to pee/get a drink/eat a snack/change pajamas.   I'm so thankful when we go 8 hours straight without an interruption. 

The current stages we are in is definitely difficult.  Paisley goes through weeks where she is so pleasant.  She is funny and enjoyable.  Then she can transform into this little terrorist whose sole purpose on this planet is to torture her mom.  Right now, she doesn't like me.  For real.  She chooses my mom or Aaron over me ALL the time.  I'm not a sensitive person at all but it has admittedly broken my heart a few times.

I'm doing some personal research on whether or not it's better to just let her avoid me and back off or if I should try to press on in trying to make her love me more.  Neither seems to change things significantly.  I guess the good news is that I'll be prepared for her teenage years.

Graham is still pleasant and funny, but has not been a fan of weaning.  I completely cut him off a week ago now and he still gets mad about it in the morning which is the one time he was still nursing.  Poor baby would have nursed FOREVER.   He's also still not walking (almost 15 months) and I'm really ready for him to get going.  He loves to be carried and I know that's why he sees no need in walking.  But my arms are wearing out and it is so much harder to get things done while lugging around a 22ish pound baby!

Life is just hectic and exhausting around here.  Nothing too crazy to report! 

Friday, October 4, 2013

Birth Control

Such an interesting turn of events that the blog that started as my comfort and safe place during the lonely world of infertility and charting and fertility drugs has now morphed over time into this.  The days that I am embarking on long-term birth control and preventative family planning.  Marking the end to my family building and settling in to the wonderful little group we've become. 

It's a happy place for me.   I love and adore my two little people.  They are incredible and I love them even more as they are getting bigger and more fun and more interactive.  Our lives are full and exhausting and overwhelming.  And I don't want an accidental number three.

My IUD has been in since Graham was 8 weeks old.  I would have had it inserted during my C-section if I thought that was an option.  We went with the paragard which is non-hormonal.  It was a simple procedure to have put in and hasn't caused any trouble since.  Who knows what periods would be like because I haven't had one since I got pregnant with Graham.  I am just now weaning him completely and breastfeeding totally shuts AF down for this girl.  In fact, I have only had two periods since becoming pregnant with Paisley almost 4 years ago so I'm kinda spoiled to not having them.

Here's the deal though.  My infertility doc wanted me to be on birth control pills when not pregnant or nursing.  So, I have an appointment next week to go to the doctor for a prescription.  But I'm hoping he'll let me keep my IUD in for the full 10 years it's good for as well.  Putting two men in the goalie.  :)

People asked why I just didn't tie my tubes during my C-section.  2 reasons.  1.) My hospital forbids tubal ligations because it is a catholic hospital.  2.) I need to be on birth control pills anyways to control my PCOS.  So, it just didn't make sense to schedule an outpatient tubal or even a vasectomy.  But I definitely am not opposed to combining multiple forms of birth control!  :)