Amber and Aaron

Amber and Aaron

The Fun We've Already Had...

  • Graham Tomas born July 31 at 5:04 P.M. weighing 8 lbs, 12 oz.
  • December 2, 2011: PREGNANT!!!
  • Paisley Kate arrived August 21 at 5:38 P.M. weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz
  • DUE DATE: August 25, 2010!!!
  • Dec. 14, 2009- PREGNANT!!!
  • Oct. 07,2009- Had elective D&C.
  • Sept 28, 2009- No embryo on ultrasound. :(
  • Sept 15th, 2009- We found out we're PREGNANT!!!
  • Sept '09- Aaron had varicocele repair.
  • July '09- IUI #1 with HCG shot= No such luck
  • April '09- Ovarian drilling surgery, followed by hospitalization for uterine infection
  • Jan-Mar '09- metformin + 3 rounds of clomid= no ovulation
  • Dec. 11, 2008- Hysterosalpingogram (Fancy word for shooting dye through the ovaries. OUCH)
  • Nov '08- Sent to RE. Tried metformin alone for two months (No ovulation)
  • Oct '08- Diagnosed with PCOS based on amenorrhea and crazy hormone levels.
  • June '08- Aaron convinced me to start trying.
  • June '04- Got Hitched!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Insurance Can Kiss My...

My OB's office called to let me know that my stupid HMO which caused me nothing but grief while trying to conceive the 1st time around is still up to the same ol' bullcrap that they're known for.  They no longer refer to Dr. Haas ("not in network") and now use another well-known RE in our area.  I've had friends that have been to The Other Guy and he's probably fine, but he isn't my "miracle worker". 

He hasn't held my hand when I lost a baby.  He didn't come visit me three times a day when I was hospitalized.  He didn't caress my forehead as I dozed off for surgery.  And he didn't have a hand in the miracle that is now Paisley.  There's a bond there that just can't be replicated.

So, she asked what I wanted her to do and I want to see Dr. Haas.  Period.  Even if insurance denies it (which I'll appeal every single day until I get my way), I will pay to see him.  Which I'll do even if they do approve it because they suck at infertility coverage.  Their policy is that infertility treatment is optional.  But since he is the only one who does ovarian drilling in this area, so it only makes sense that I would follow-up with him now.  We wouldn't be starting from Square One.  He already knows my whole history, and he knows that my body frequently throws modern medicine a curveball. 

And if I'll ever cycle again, I'm going to do a month of charting and OPK's to see what (if anything) is going on in there!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Back to Square One?

I can't even believe I'm typing this and I'm certainly not ready to say it out loud.  Today, something clicked broke down in my crazy little mind and I forced myself upstairs today at lunch to see my OB/GYN.  If you'll remember, I work in the same building as them when I'm a PA (as opposed to office manager) two days a week.   They are wonderful people who have supported me through all of my journey to get Paisley.  My OB showed up WAY before I delivered and just hung out in the room with us, checking me every two seconds to make sure Paisley didn't deliver herself.  And his nurse practitioner who I consider a good friend spent her Saturday at the hospital so she'd get to welcome my baby into the world.

I digress...  Anyway, I talked to my NP about my 40+ day cycles that my body has once again embraced, and the obvious lack of a pregnancy thus far despite the complete absence of birth control.   She feels like 4 months after weaning, things should be getting more "normal". Whatever that means..  But here we are.  Day 38.  And no period.  

She thinks I should consult with Dr. Haas (my hero) and see what he thinks.  Not what I expected.  I thought she'd do some bloodwork.  Maybe an ultrasound.  But she feels like we've done everything with them before and it didn't get us anywhere.  He did my ovarian drilling and would know better what to think about things now.

And then something shocking happened. I agreed.  She's putting in a referral and I agreed.  I'm admitting that I'm not just fine, I've noticed that I have only been pregnant twice (once successfully) in over 3 years time off birth control.   Maybe I do need a consult.

But that sure does suck.  Because if I have hundreds of ovarian cysts again and my hormone levels are crazy out of whack and my follicles are weak and useless like they were and my uterine lining is once again "hostile", this door may close.  And it's just nice to know that maybe, just maybe, it's still possible for me to be pregnant once more...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Toddler's Trots

I forgot to update you all on our pediatrician visit.  She is weighing in at a whopping 18 pounds, 9 ounces (10th percentile) and is 31 inches long (90th percentile).    I still call her my little supermodel baby but it's so funny because she has such a chubby belly!  We'd swear she was at least 25th percentile!!!  :)

The pediatrician wasn't concerned about her change in stools at all.  She said it's common around the walking mark to get what she called "toddler trots".  (Thanks Erica- you were right!)  Apparently their little bodies just get so excited about their newfound independence that they forget to take the time to form solid stools resulting in completely disgusting diapers.

Aaron warned her that she'd have to start using the toilet if she was going to poop like a grown-up.  Apparently, she heeded the advice because the day after we went to her appointment, she started firming back up.  YAY!!!

And her appetite is in full-force again.  She'll eat anything and everything we offer her, plus her milk.  So, I'm much more at ease about things now. 

Still waiting on AF to show up.  Day 35 now...  Do any of you have really long cycles on a normal basis? 

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Back in the Saddle?

Take this entire post with a grain of salt because my feelings change on a minute-to-minute basis.  Like one minute, when Paisley is snuggling with me and talking sweetly- I say I want another baby.  Then the next minute, when she's throwing herself on the ground having a fit over the fact that I won't let her re-program our TV by playing with the remote and I realize she's got poop coming out of her diaper onto my carpet, I consider calling for a hysterectomy STAT. 

But today, an old familiar feeling really set in.  Today is CD 31.  I used to have 29 day cycles when things were "fixed" from my surgery. But I've had more like 40 day cycles since I quit nursing. So, I thought I might as well just take a pregnancy test to make sure that's not what's going on.  Especially since I love to have mango margarita night from time to time. 

And strangely, I felt myself hoping that the 2nd line would appear.  The complete absence of a line in that control area made me sad.  Which I did not expect.  So here's what I'm thinking.  Maybe, if CD 1 shows up again, I may chart this month.  Heck, I may even do OPK's.  Because it may be best for me to know if a 2nd baby is likely or if this body has retired from the baby-making business...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Little Miss Veterinarian

Just checking on one of the surgery dogs at the clinic

Very serious face.  Usually means she's pooping.  This time I think she was mainly interested in me taking pictures.

I LOVE the tip-toes!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Who wore it best?

Several weeks ago, I went to a local swimming pool/water park with my best friend and her two kids.  And of course Paisley.  I wore one of my favorite bikinis which is brown with white polka dots.  I feel like it's super cute and definitely doesn't scream "soccer mom".  It's not like a one-piece with a skirt, people.

Well, lo and behold, someone else at the waterpark had on the exact same bikini.  Which is never good, especially if that someone is way better looking than you.  But in this case, it was even worse than that.  It was an 80-year-old woman.  In my swimsuit.  What is the chance of that happening???

And to make it worse, when I joked about it to my "best friend" (you know who you are), she paused when I asked her who looked better!!!   One of the saddest days of my life.  Losing a swimsuit competition to an octogenerian.  :)

Friday, August 19, 2011

My Pukey Baby

This beautiful morning started off with Paisley projectile vomiting all over herself and her carseat this morning.  Not once, but twice.  In the parking lot of the vet clinic.  Very convenient and great for business.

I snuck in the side door and hurried her back to my office so that none of our well-meaning clients would try to come over to catch a peek of our "adorable" baby who was currently drenched in the foulest smelling, chunkiest vomit I've ever seen.

It was one of those moments where you consider calling 911 because you have no idea how to even start to clean it up.  Luckily, her daddy and one of our vet techs came rushing to my aide considering I was starting to dry-heave from the smell.  We got her washed off in our surgery sink, cleaned her clothes and sprayed out her carseat which I was ready to just throw away. 

But, it got me thinking.  Paisley's digestive tract hasn't been quite right lately.  And by lately, I mean several months.  You might remember me saying how great she was at eating solids.  She loved anything and everything we put in front of her.  But slowly, she's become less and less interested in food.  In fact, some days the only thing she'll even consume is milk.   Sometimes she'll completely refuse to even try solids, and other times she'll put in her mouth and then spit it out.  Even her favorites.

I kinda just blamed this on her being a baby learning to eat, and didn't get too excited about it.  But over the past few weeks, her stools are changing.  They've went from formed and brown, to very liquidy and almost yellow.  She had a few that were solid and white, which concerned me that something was wrong with her liver.  (Remember I went to PA school, so I'm constantly analyzing everything like the true nerd that I am. However, I've never treated kids, so everything she does is a mystery!)   Again though, I've kinda ignored all of this because baby's poop is ever-evolving.  But this current poop is very acidic and is giving her terrible diaper rash.  Which we've never dealt with. And I should mention that she went from pooping once a day to about 3-4 times a day. And there were chunks of grapes and strawberries in her vomit which she hasn't eaten in 2 days.  Meaning they didn't digest at all.

So, I'm concerned.  She has her 1-year check-up on Wednesday morning and I'll obviously address it then.  But I was wondering if anyone else has had anything like this happen.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Party Animal

Excited about her gifts

FYI:  Cakes start to lean in 100 degree weather.

My little mermaid

Looks like a steady stream of urine coming from my baby and I won't promise that it isn't.  Has anyone else noticed that swim diapers do not hold in fluids???

Opening her gifts

We had Paisley's 1st birthday party on Sunday at a local waterpark and it was super fun!  Lots of our closest friends and family came to celebrate, even though we did it a week early.  (The waterpark will be closing early now since school goes back, so we bumped it up a week.)   She L-O-V-E-S the water, so she thought the party was awesome.  And she loves other little kiddos, so that was just icing on the cake for her.

She is learning SOOO much right now.  Yesterday she decided that she can walk, although we've known she could for months now.  She's just toddling all over the place like she's been doing it forever.  Super cute.  And she now pokes us in the eye and says "eye" in the sweetest voice.  It makes me happy that she's poking my eyeball out.  :)

She now says "fish" along with "kitty cat" and "doggy".  Not surprising that our child's vocabulary consists almost entirely of animals.   Although she does say "ball-ball" (not sure why she has to say it twice) and "boon" for balloon.   She loves to sing "la-la-la" especially to Beyonce's "All the Single Ladies".  In fact, she'll usually copy our "uh-uh-oh-uh-uh-oh-oh...."    

I have been a very bad blogger lately because my days are FULL with a busy baby, 2 jobs and summer time plans.  I'm committing myself to getting better SOON.   Maybe this week I'll make up for it.  :)

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Walking? No, Thanks.

Paisley started walking while holding both of our hands about 3 months ago.  Then she would walk with just one of our hands about 6 weeks ago.  I thought for sure that walking independantly was right around the corner.  But she's still holding on.  And now we're nearing the 1st birthday which seems to magically make children start walking, so I'm wondering if my little gal is going to get the urge. 

I can hear you all out there saying, "get ready.  Things get WAAAAYYYY harder when they start walking."  And maybe you're right.  But I'm never one of those people who appreciates an "I told you so."  I love each of her developmental stages.  And I don't love the baby stage.  So I actually look forward to her being able to do more.  It makes both of us happier.

Crawling actually made our lives easier because she was more content and played more on her own.  So, I'm ready for walking to begin.  And my poor back needs a break from bending over!  I've tried luring her with toys/food/remotes/phones to no avail.  We've tried having her walk between us but she just throws herself on the ground like her legs are broken.  But then every now and then, she'll just take three or four steps before lowering to crawl mode.  And she can stand very steady if she isn't thinking about it.  Any ideas on how to encourage her?

Friday, August 5, 2011

Fitting In

When I was pregnant, I remember feeling like an imposter in the world of other pregnant women.  Somehow, it seemed like I was wearing a fake belly and wandering through Babies-R-Us, pretending that I belonged there.  It felt like the pregnant women at my doctor's office knew I was somehow different than them.  And really, I was.  I didn't celebrate from the minute I found out I was pregant for fear that my heart would be broken once again.  In fact, I was terrified. And I refused to let any baby stuff enter my house until way past the point of viability because I know all too well that a pregnancy doesn't guarantee a baby.  A nursery would just be too painful if this didn't go well.  And I had a panic attack before every doctor's appointment, because I'd received so much bad news before this. 

Then Paisley came along.  I was actually a mommy.  But still, I don't feel like I "fit in" to a mommy circle.  For one, I'm not a girlie-girl.  You won't catch me at a Tupperware party or gossiping about a great shoe sale.  I'd rather die than watch a chick flick and I think musicals are unbearable.  So, my girl friendships have always been a bit unique.  Now, I have some awesome girlfriends, but they all know that I'm not going on an all day shopping trip and that I'm really useless at hosting baby showers.

But I realized last night at the baby gym that I just don't feel like I'm a "normal" mom.  It all hit me when the other moms were all talking about getting together for a play date next week and they invited me.  First thought was, "how nice that they're including us.  I'm sure Paisley would love it."   Followed within seconds by, "I can't imagine what we'd talk about or how uncomfortable that would be."    I mean, really?  Me and a bunch of stay-at-home moms hanging out?  Sounds awkward at best.   I might as well go back to junior high if I want to put myself in that kind of situation.

Maybe it's the type of women who go to baby gym, but they all seem perfect.  Hair always fixed, wearing cute clothes, making adorable crafty things, talking about child development and cooking, etc.  And then there's me.  Wearing my athletic clothing (aka: pajamas), hair in a disheveled ponytail, my child with food on her clothing/face/hair, wondering where I should pick up something to eat on the way home. 

And at first it made me feel sad for Paisley that her mom will never be president of the PTA.  But then I realized that we have so much fun together and she's a super happy baby.  I would rather spend all of my time with her than make myself look like Martha Stewart.  So there.