Take this entire post with a grain of salt because my feelings change on a minute-to-minute basis. Like one minute, when Paisley is snuggling with me and talking sweetly- I say I want another baby. Then the next minute, when she's throwing herself on the ground having a fit over the fact that I won't let her re-program our TV by playing with the remote and I realize she's got poop coming out of her diaper onto my carpet, I consider calling for a hysterectomy STAT.
But today, an old familiar feeling really set in. Today is CD 31. I used to have 29 day cycles when things were "fixed" from my surgery. But I've had more like 40 day cycles since I quit nursing. So, I thought I might as well just take a pregnancy test to make sure that's not what's going on. Especially since I love to have mango margarita night from time to time.
And strangely, I felt myself hoping that the 2nd line would appear. The complete absence of a line in that control area made me sad. Which I did not expect. So here's what I'm thinking. Maybe, if CD 1 shows up again, I may chart this month. Heck, I may even do OPK's. Because it may be best for me to know if a 2nd baby is likely or if this body has retired from the baby-making business...
But today, an old familiar feeling really set in. Today is CD 31. I used to have 29 day cycles when things were "fixed" from my surgery. But I've had more like 40 day cycles since I quit nursing. So, I thought I might as well just take a pregnancy test to make sure that's not what's going on. Especially since I love to have mango margarita night from time to time.
And strangely, I felt myself hoping that the 2nd line would appear. The complete absence of a line in that control area made me sad. Which I did not expect. So here's what I'm thinking. Maybe, if CD 1 shows up again, I may chart this month. Heck, I may even do OPK's. Because it may be best for me to know if a 2nd baby is likely or if this body has retired from the baby-making business...
My baby is 6 months and I am weaning myself off the pump. I think I am ready to try for baby #2, but I hope we can do it on our own instead of going through IVF again. I put it all in God's hands.
ReplyDeleteI hope your body hasn't retired yet. Good luck!
I was wondering if you might be willing to either talk on here or email me privately about a question I've had, whilst reading your blog and after a recent doctor visit of my own...
ReplyDeleteI understand you had a D&C at one point - your time line thingy says it was elective. Was that because your doctor thought your uterine lining may have built up too thickly and was preventing a fertalized eggy from implanting? I just saw a new obgyn who said that I may have a thickened lining, and mentioned a D&C as a possible treatment. I am scared and don't know how I should proceed, and he wasn't overly informative, and I was wondering if you had any thougts on this you might share with me? My email is a.belleque at live dot com.
Have a good day, and good luck with your decision :)
i'm so torn emotionally on the 2nd baby thing. i want to wait 4 more years or so and am VERY confident in that decision (visiting a friend with a newborn this week confirmed it; there's just NO WAY i could handle a 1 yr old and a baby). however, everytime i hear of someone announcing a pregnancy (4 of my 5 closest friends, including one just today), i can't help but feel a bit jealous. crazy stuff. good luck with what you decide!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel! =)
ReplyDeleteIf you decide to try for a second baby I hope you have an easier go this time. It sounded like your body really was fixed by the surgery so hopefully that's still the case. Maybe the long cycles are just your body still adjusting to weaning. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI want you to know I just shed a tear over your negative pregnancy test feeling. It's all still so fresh and painful!
ReplyDeleteKandice
Not that we are voting here but... I say "SADDLE UP" :)!!! Try it, see what it brings, you never know :) Embrace these mommy feelings and do what makes you happy! I hope this is the easiest thing yet for you after all of your struggles to get your precious daughter!
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be such a wonderful miracle if baby #2 just came naturally? If only! My dream!
ReplyDeleteawww, so sorry you had that sadness again. When you are ready, you will know it. It might be now...might not be. Only you know that. I have full faith (no pun intended, haha) that your body will be back in business. Having 2 is immensely harder than 1 - but also very rewarding:).
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