Amber and Aaron

Amber and Aaron

The Fun We've Already Had...

  • Graham Tomas born July 31 at 5:04 P.M. weighing 8 lbs, 12 oz.
  • December 2, 2011: PREGNANT!!!
  • Paisley Kate arrived August 21 at 5:38 P.M. weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz
  • DUE DATE: August 25, 2010!!!
  • Dec. 14, 2009- PREGNANT!!!
  • Oct. 07,2009- Had elective D&C.
  • Sept 28, 2009- No embryo on ultrasound. :(
  • Sept 15th, 2009- We found out we're PREGNANT!!!
  • Sept '09- Aaron had varicocele repair.
  • July '09- IUI #1 with HCG shot= No such luck
  • April '09- Ovarian drilling surgery, followed by hospitalization for uterine infection
  • Jan-Mar '09- metformin + 3 rounds of clomid= no ovulation
  • Dec. 11, 2008- Hysterosalpingogram (Fancy word for shooting dye through the ovaries. OUCH)
  • Nov '08- Sent to RE. Tried metformin alone for two months (No ovulation)
  • Oct '08- Diagnosed with PCOS based on amenorrhea and crazy hormone levels.
  • June '08- Aaron convinced me to start trying.
  • June '04- Got Hitched!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Survive Christmas: Check

Hey blog friends, sorry about going M.I.A. on you all. The holidays have kept me plenty busy, so I haven't been around much to blog. I am not typically a holiday type person, but this year Oklahoma decided to have "winter storm 2009" on Christmas Eve. What this meant for my holiday was that I had to go to less houses to celebrate due to bad roads. Awesome! I was able to sleep in, leisurely open presents and then put them away, eat turkey once and actually enjoy it...

Our house got a ton of snow and buried all of our Christmas decorations, which apparently our Home Owner's Association (HOA) would have suggested we do with them based on the fact that we didn't win the lighting competition for the 3rd straight year.

Our house with all of its snow

I thought I'd show you all pictures of the 3 who did win though. We'll start with third place just for fun. I personally feel it's a bit painful to look at with the disco glowing bulbs. It even hurts to look at the picture. Plus, what's going on here that says winner?
2nd place: another lovely choice by our stupid HOA. Now let me point out that they do have 3 tiny deer in the yard that were unlit during this picture taking. But seriously... 2nd place.... for putting lights on the house and throwing 3 store-bought deer in the yard? Good for you guys. Glad you spent 10 minutes on your house this year so you could win a cash prize.

And the winner is.....

Now this one isn't laughable, but really. $150.00 for this. I think not. It looks nice, it really does. But to beat all of the other houses in the neighborhood??? And let me be fair for a moment and say that there were other houses besides ours that did a great job. I wouldn't have been upset if they had beat us. But they didn't. Lesson learned from this experience is that HOA does reward simplicity. If your electric bill is over $500 for the month of December, you are eliminated apparently. I guess we're "going green".

So next year I vote on putting a "F---you, HOA" sign in the yard. I bet that'll get their attention.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Merry Christmas!!!

I promised a post with pictures of our well-lit house (planes actually try to land on it and neighbors can't sleep until we turn our lights off)... This is an overview of the "simple" style we have chosen for our Christmas decorations. We totally live by the motto "less is more". Now let's break it down by sections so you can truly appreciate the beauty of it all. :)
Here you'll see our angel collection next to Santa/Rudolph/snowman/tree. You might notice the little gray rabbit next to Rudolph. Your guess is as good as mine on why he belongs. It's like the Christmas version of Where's Waldo? You might also notice the 8 foot tall Santa inflatable in our front bedroom. He's a little blocked by the North Pole sign in this shot.

Next on the tour is our 4 penguins and our carousel. Better view of Santa on this one.

Here we have the gingerbread family (hopefully next year we'll need to add a new one...), our soldiers, and our sweet little OSU snowbabies with what I call a moose. Aaron says reindeer. Whatever. It's totally a moose.

And now our Eskimo Joe's collection. It all makes sense except for the turd to the far left. Aaron would call it a walrus but I say it's a turd with big teeth and a hat. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a turd in your front yard.

Hope you're all having a wonderful holiday season!!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Stupid infertility

One of those days just happened. You know the ones. Everything should be fine, but inside you're just a mess. No real good reason, nothing to blame it on, no one to yell at. Just a battle within. And I'm losing.

I guess it's mostly just that I'm tired of infertility. Kinda feels like it has conquered me lately. I try to keep control of the situation, but after 19 months of ups and downs, that gets hard. Loneliness and hopelessness settle in, and hope and positivity pack their bags. We'll get back there again. I just need a little time. I'm not sure what I need time for, or if it would really even help. But it sounds good.

Stupid holiday season is what's doing this. I wouldn't even put up a tree this year because we should be putting our child's gifts under this year's tree. And we're not. We could have a million gifts and it would still seem empty because in my heart I know what's mising. So I don't want a dumb tree to remind me of the losses we've had this year or the struggles we've faced. One day we'll look back and it will all be worth it. But until then, I'm trying to ignore my infertility and all the baggage that comes with it. Because frankly, it's really getting on my nerves.

Monday, December 14, 2009

I must be losing my mind

I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I made and sent out Christmas cards this year. For those who know me, I'm not really a Christmas-kind-of-gal. Too high-maintenance for me. But something possessed me to download pictures onto a Wal-mart card and actually mail them out. Wow! Next thing you know I'll be baking cookies and hosting parties.

Aaron and I chose 7 kids to buy for off the Salvation Army tree this year. We usually choose 2-3 but this year they have a ton of kids due to the economy. So we got a few extra. We have now bought 3 bikes, 2 scooters, clothes, an exersaucer, toys, etc. I'm hoping this brings good karma our direction for the next few months. What goes around comes around. Right?

Things are about to get really busy in our world. We have Aaron's work party this Thursday, his extended family on Saturday, his parent's house on Christmas Eve and then my family Christmas Day. Lots of fun, but I'm sure we'll be tired and a little chubbier than before. I'll post pictures of our ridiculous outdoor Christmas decorations next time. (Think the Griswolds).

Friday, December 11, 2009

Tick-tock... tick-tock...

It's amazing how slowly days pass when you're waiting for your period (or hopefully- the lack thereof). I'm in last part of the dreadful 2 week wait. And I can't help but let myself fall into that silly hopeful mode again. I've never, ever believed I was pregnant from any other cycle (especially the one where I was actually pregnant). Not the clomid, or the IUI, or post-surgery. Until now. Now I believe that I am. And it's not because I'm having any justifiable reason to think so, it's just that I can't imagine going any longer without being pregnant again.

I miss it so much. And it only gets tougher every month that goes by that I come to terms with the fact that my belly won't get bigger (except from holiday eating) and that we won't be preparing a nursery and that I will be returning for empty uterus ultrasounds if I choose more treatment. I miss the phone calls and e-mails and cards telling us congratulations and seeing how I'm feeling. I miss the way Aaron would love on my tummy, even though our baby was tiny. I even miss the nausea and weird cravings and overwhelming fatigue.

So, I'm just praying and hoping and dreaming that maybe I'd be lucky enough to get pregnant again this quickly. It's hard to imagine waiting another 18 months for a pregnancy. Of course, I never knew we'd go this long and through this much. And see everyone around us (even infertile friends) have babies who are now having birthdays. But maybe it's our month...

* Side note: I realized that one part of me thinks like this previous post. And then there's the other side of me saying, "are we still talking about the miscarriage? Are you still belly-aching over your infertility? I bet people are tired of hearing you complain." But then the sensitive side wins over and you get posts like these... Sorry.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Size of a Goat

I had a question on my previous post asking how big a pygmy goat is. They should weigh around 35-60 pounds. Our little chubby goat weighs more in the summertime when he's chowing down on our grass (we don't have to mow the lawn). His belly always look pregnant and he'll eat almost anything. One of his favorites is dog treats and also plants that we don't want him to eat. And he happens to love dressing up for our Halloween parties. The only problem is that when people try to take pictures with him, he tries to eat their costumes.

Hope that answered your question! (This blog is turning to crap when I start talking about pygmy goats)

Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Tale of a Dog and a Goat

Last night, my sweet husband spent about 2 hours steam cleaning the carpets in our study. They were drying this morning when we left for church, looking brand-new. You could see the pride in his eyes of a job-well-done. This becomes a very important part of the story I'm about to tell.

As many of you know, we have one outside dog, Evie, and a pygmy goat named Chester. Evie and Chester are a little on the hyper side so they don't get to come in the house to play. I actually even worry that somehow they might destroy our backyard.

Me with my little Princess Mya and Suspect #1: Evie A picture of Suspect #2: Chester in his halloween costume
Somehow while we were away being good people at church, these two little criminals broke into our house. By broke in, I mean that they somehow pushed our door open that goes from the back patio into our bedroom. Maybe one of us failed to shut it tight and obviously didn't lock it. Regardless, we were greeted on our arrival home by a very excited mutt and her little goat friend. At our front door. In our living room.
They had probably been in the house unsupervised for about 3 hours. Excellent. For those of you who don't have a goat as a pet within city limits (if there are such people in this world), they don't have the best bowel control. You can pretty much count on Chester to create little "chocolate treat" piles all over the place. And he lived up to that expectation.

Exhibit A: This is what used to be the clean floor of our study
(NOTE: The dots in the farthest part of the mess are goat turds)
There were dog toys strung all over our living room as well as two other "goat accident" areas. We are "lucky" that nothing ended up broken or destroyed, besides Aaron's newly cleaned carpets and his patience. Boy, it sure is nice to have pets. And who needs clean carpet anyways? Totally overrated.

(P.S: I was super excited about receiving 16 comments on my last post. I think that's the most I've ever had. And I'm at 50 followers which is awesome!!! Thanks again for all of your support.)

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Woo-hoo! Ovulation has occurred...

Of all these months that I've tried to do ovulation predictor tests (for my IUI, clomid cycles, etc)and have been absolutely baffled by the results, I finally got my positive test. In the past, I've done them and thought, "is that line as dark as the control line?" "Am I doing this right?" "It is urine I'm supposed to use on this, right?" Now, I get it. This is what a positive should look like.

R is the control line and T is the test line. It's checking the LH (luteinizing hormone) in my body. LH peaks right before ovulation occurs. What you're looking for is the test line to be as dark or darker than the control line. I got this positive yesterday(on CD 16) and then my temp peaked this morning. So, it looks like the egg has been laid...

I've done my part. Let fertilization occur. Or not. But for now, I just want to say how happy I am that my surgery worked. We never had a chance at getting pregnant before. I NEVER ovulated even with fertility drugs. But now I do it even without seeing my RE. Wow.

So, this cycle looks good as of now. Of course, we still only have about a 20% chance of getting pregnant which is quite lame if you ask me. But it's better than 0%. And I'm trying to be thankful that I at least have a chance. We're back in the ballgame.