Amber and Aaron

Amber and Aaron

The Fun We've Already Had...

  • Graham Tomas born July 31 at 5:04 P.M. weighing 8 lbs, 12 oz.
  • December 2, 2011: PREGNANT!!!
  • Paisley Kate arrived August 21 at 5:38 P.M. weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz
  • DUE DATE: August 25, 2010!!!
  • Dec. 14, 2009- PREGNANT!!!
  • Oct. 07,2009- Had elective D&C.
  • Sept 28, 2009- No embryo on ultrasound. :(
  • Sept 15th, 2009- We found out we're PREGNANT!!!
  • Sept '09- Aaron had varicocele repair.
  • July '09- IUI #1 with HCG shot= No such luck
  • April '09- Ovarian drilling surgery, followed by hospitalization for uterine infection
  • Jan-Mar '09- metformin + 3 rounds of clomid= no ovulation
  • Dec. 11, 2008- Hysterosalpingogram (Fancy word for shooting dye through the ovaries. OUCH)
  • Nov '08- Sent to RE. Tried metformin alone for two months (No ovulation)
  • Oct '08- Diagnosed with PCOS based on amenorrhea and crazy hormone levels.
  • June '08- Aaron convinced me to start trying.
  • June '04- Got Hitched!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Tornado Aftermath

Five months after the deadly tornado that tore through my city leaving a wake of destruction in its path, houses are popping up all over.  Businesses have rebuilt, street signs are repaired and the debris is cleaned up.  People have healed.

Right?

My mom and I were running errands by our house yesterday and just decided to stop by the elementary school (Plaza Towers) where 7 young kids were killed when the tornado leveled their school.  We've been by here a few times to check for progress or visit the small memorial on site.  

Yesterday was the most encouraging because so many houses are being re-built and most of the tragic destruction is removed.  It almost looks like a normal new neighborhood, save for a few seemingly abandoned houses that still look like a warzone.   It felt good to see that.  Even the school has been completely cleaned up and the beginnings of construction are underway to replace it.

But on the far side of the school, the marquee still stands.  It is a mangled up piece of metal, clearly demonstrating the devastating effects of the storm.  On it reads, Awards Assembly May 20th.  It's as if that sign is a permanent fixture frozen on that terrible day.  Nearby are 7 crosses symbolizing the innocent babies lost here.  They are wooden and beautiful and eerie.  They shouldn't have to be here.

And as we were slowly pulling by, a young man in a truck pulled up and waved politely at us.  He was in a work truck and I assumed he was there on business.  Until he got out of his truck and walked purposefully towards the roped off makeshift memorial.

He crawled into the cordoned off area and before I realized what was happening, he reached out and placed his hands lovingly and desperately onto the 3rd cross.  The grief was PALPABLE.  It radiated through the air and seemed to stop all time.

I froze in the car, goosebumps all over, beginning to realize what I'd just witnessed.  A father's loss.  Still just as fresh and raw five months later.  Completely unaffected by the positive changes and growth occurring all around him.  Simply a parent who had suffered the unthinkable loss of a child.

It reverberated throughout my entire soul the rest of the day and still affects me this morning.  I wanted to turn around and embrace him.  Tell him that others still remember too.  Make him feel not so alone.  

Grief is still very much here.  We don't have as many physical reminders anymore, but the wounds are far from healed.  My heart goes out to those that will be spending their first holidays without these kids soon.

6 comments:

  1. It's still hard to believe it all happened even though we see the evidence of it daily. I'm glad you wrote this post.

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  2. Wow, I probably shouldn't have read this at work. Now I am all teary eyed. How surreal that must have been to watch. It is a reminder that no matter how much rebuilding is happening, some things can't be fixed.

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  3. Beautiful post, very, very sad.

    A girl I knew was killed in a house fire three years ago. She was a teenager, and she and the three other teenagers in the house all died. There was no rhyme or reason why they couldn't get out, as they had called 9-1-1 and all been OK at the time. Whatever happened between the call and their deaths, only God knows.

    At the annual memorial, there was a man there desperately clinging to a t-shirt he had in his hands. He was a tenant in the neighboring unit when everything happened. The shirt he was holding belonged to that of his own son, who had been killed as a small child in a house fire 20 years prior. He came to the memorial, through obvious incredible agonizing pain, because he didn't want the family to think everyone had moved on. He wanted them to know he remembered, because he had been there himself and he knew what it was like to watch everyone go on with life when you're still so broken.

    It was something I will never forget, and we were all sooo touched by this man's kindness, in the midst of his own grief. It's a reminder to be gentle, and considerate at all times and to always remember.

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  4. Oh wow. So glad I'm reading this at home because it sure did bring me to tears. As both a mom and a teacher, May 20th really impacted my view of my safety AND my daughter's safety at school. As this world gets crazier and crazier, and the horrible tragedies seem to hit closer and closer, I am so beyond thankful that we are all here today.

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  5. Oh my. My heart hurts for that man and all those who lost children that day. While I am grateful your neighborhood has been rebuilt and people are moving on with their lives, it must be so difficult to be one of the ones who was impacted the most and probably feel like the world has forgotten their pain.

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  6. so true... while those of us are moving on and going on with life, others are grieving and walking down a path searching for healing and wondering why. So sad to know although things will be rebuilt and life will go on, there are those whose lives remained shattered by that day.

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