Smiling Through the Rain

Paisley celebrated her 1st Halloween this weekend, which has been so much fun.  Mainly for us, since she doesn't realize...  We went to a friend's party on Friday night, then had our own party last night after some trick-or-treating around our neighborhood.  She's exhausted from all the fun!  Her bee costume was a bit warm and she was kinda too long for it, so it wasn't her favorite thing to wear...  Mine, however, made it really easy to breastfeed which was great! A picture with her favorite twins, Renna and Reagan!  Don't mind her expression, again it's just her hatred of the bee costume.  She loves sheep! Here's a group of picture of us with our friends Mendy and Adam.  This is before we went trick-or-treating which was super fun!  Sure, none of our kids are really old enough to eat candy, but we sure enjoyed it!  Because I have no idea how to get these pictures in better order since every time I drag them to a new p...

One of my favorite blogger friends who is still on the journey to pregnancy posted a wonderful reminder that it's hard to be "left behind" when everyone else gets pregnant/has babies and you still don't.  She feels sad and angry that others have forgotten about her now that they've gotten what they wanted.  They no longer keep up their blogs and never leave comments. This was a wonderful reminder to me that I don't ever want to forget what I've been through to get to where I am today.  Paisley is only here because of a wonderful team of doctors, many dollars spent, countless prayers on our behalf, several surgeries endured, and way too much heartache to imagine.  And I only survived it all because I had the most amazing husband, incredible friends, and a supportive family. The blogging world was a huge comfort for me during my darkest days.  I would come home from another failed appointment in tears, write a despondent blog about how I'd never...

Paisley is currently asleep in her CRIB (yeah, you read that right) and has been for 25 minutes.  Her morning nap hasn't been much more than a little catnap, so that's already pretty good for her.  Plus, it's the first time she's really slept in there at all!  She started taking a pacifier last week which has made her sleep even better.  And I have her heartbeat sound monitor on, which could be helping. I realized that she's starting to really need a good afternoon nap or she's cranky in the evenings.  Problem is, she'll only sleep for a long period of time if I lay down with her.  So, I'm working on the crib this week.  Well, starting today anyways.  And this first trial is going well!!! She'll still be sleeping with us at night for now since it's easiest to nurse her in bed and we're getting about 10 hours of sleep that way.  She only nurses once overnight, but I'm just loving the convenience still. Some of you asked about baptis...

Paisley's baptism was yesterday and it was beautiful!  One of my favorite ceremonies in the Methodist church is the baptism of babies.  It's such a sweet ritual and I remember watching these in the past and wondering if I'd ever be up there with my own baby.  They were almost hard to bear during the darkest part of my infertility and especially following my miscarriage. Our pastor baptized her with my husband, my in-laws, my mom, my best friend, and Aaron's brother and sister up front.  She then held her and walked her around to introduce her to the congregation while everyone sang the sweetest lullaby.  I thought I'd post the lyrics....wish I could sing them, but you'll just have to imagine since my singing voice is terrible ! Paisley, Paisley , God claims you.             God helps you, protects you, and loves you too.             We this day ...

Paisley took two bottles today!!!  Yes, you read that right.  After a million different tries and absolutely no success, we figured it out. Up until today, I've pumped and then made her bottle with that milk.  Well, apparently she likes her milk a little warmer if she's going to take it by bottle. SILLY ME!!!  Someone call DHS, because I obviously have no idea what I'm doing here!  :) Today, my mom took from my frozen stash to make her bottle and she took it like a champ.  NO problem at all.  So all we can figure is that she likes it a little warmer than normal when it's in bottle form.  Problem solved.  Aaron and I just got home from seeing a movie and she stayed home with my mom.  It was actually pretty great to get away for a minute and then I was SO excited to see her when we were headed home...

Let's start this by saying that Paisley gives her 2 month shots a HUGE thumbs-down.  She woke up in a beautiful mood this morning and did her usual smile at mama and snuggle.  I got up to pump before my breasts sprung a leak and let her cuddle with her dad for a while.  Then we went to the pediatrician's office... Which is when it all went to crap.  She didn't notice the 1st shot, but screamed for the next 2.  I've apparently never actually heard her really cry.  But she did it today.  And I was relieved when she calmed down a minute later and quickly fell asleep for 3 hours.  Seemed like we had it easy.  Until she woke up.  REALLY angry.  She screamed for a long time, until we gave her a warm bath and some tylenol.  Then she and I took a nap together.  She's now awake again and really cranky. The pediatrician suggests not giving tylenol unless necessary.  I'm calling this necessary!  And it's heartbreaking...

Paisley attending her 1st wedding!  I luckily had a dress that matched hers and actually fit.  She's already discovered the beauty of a black dress. She did great except for the giant poop with outstanding sound effects right before the wedding started.  :)  That's my classy girl. Cheering on her undefeated Cowboys! This is the mess we had to clean up after leaving the movie theatre from seeing "Life as we Know it".    I put her in her carseat, and look what she did.  Taking a car seat completely apart to wash it is NOT fun.  Reassembling the carseat is even worse. My little old woman before playing mini golf.  Has to get her UV protection! Pretending to be Baby Carlos from the Hangover.  She loved mini golf and we got 2nd place (3 of us played). It wasn't actually too much different to golf with baby strapped on to me as it was while 9 months pregnant.  Just looks so much cooler now.  :)

I have no idea what crawled up my butt and died yesterday, but I obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed!!!  I'm just so nervous that something will go wrong with breatfeeding and my baby will choose to starve rather than take a b-o-t-t-l-e.  We don't say the forbidden word around here these days because she hates even the sight of it. Oh, and in case anyone thought that maybe we should try to give her formula in a bottle just to change things up...  Not a good idea.  She immediately projectile vomited all over her nursery and her daddy without even drinking any.  Live and learn... Someone mentioned a sippy cup and I've definitely thought about using it in the near future.  We have already tried spoonfeeding, using a medicine dropper, and tried a syringe (without the needle.)  And I should mention that I realize how incredibly lucky I am to have a baby who takes so well to breastfeeding.  And that I was able to quit my job and...

Being a mom is such a rollercoaster for me.  One day I feel like I have it all figured out, we're getting into a pattern, and BOOM ...  she changes all the rules again.  And then there are the days that I'm not quite sure that we should even be able to take home a plant, much less a baby .  And unfortunately, those days are still the norm.  She hadn't pooped in 2 days so I was starting to panic but luckily she overloaded a diaper right before I started writing this.  So that problem is currently taken care of.  And she usually goes 3-4 times a day, so I usually worry more that she's going too frequently!  And I wonder how a tiny diaper can hold SOOO much poop.   (Side note:  I find it bizaar that breastfed poop is yellow and seedy.  What is the deal?) Next new mom concern: she's only gained 1 pound in 3 weeks since her last doctor's appointment.  I realize we're not weighing her on the same scale so that will fact...

We have had such a fun week.  It makes me never want to go back to work!  On Tuesday, we went with my friend Mendy and her 1-year-old twin girls to the zoo.  It was a beautiful day and all 3 girls did wonderfully!  Then yesterday, I met two of my PA girls for lunch who are both on maternity leave.  One has a 2-week-old and the other has a 4-week-old.  It's going to be amazing to have so many friends for Paisley to play with.  And it's great to talk to other new moms and realize that you're not losing your mind! As for our bottle battle, she's still refusing to play nice.  My mom has been trying this week (thought a woman's touch might help), but Paisley doesn't care.  We've tried 5 different bottle types with various nipples, all with breastmilk.  We've tried different times of the day.  And I'm always either on the complete opposite side of the house or outside altogether.   But she hates it.  She will only take ab...

I loved Paisley from the very second that I saw those double lines on the test.  It was the reason I was so afraid of another pregnancy loss.   My love for her grew with every ultrasound and every time I felt her move.  It was the reason I cried myself to sleep at night out of fear for losing her.  That love exploded the minute they laid her on my chest, and I burst into tears because the emotions were too overwhelming to contain.   I thought I loved her as much as I could possibly ever love anyone at that moment.  But what I've found is that every single day, I love her more than the day before.   Every single morning when I wake up next to her, my heart swells with happiness that she is my baby.  That I've been given the most amazing job in the world of raising her.  And that in return, this little person will love me.   She has started smiling at me on purpo...

Breastfeeding seems to bring up lots of questions about where to do it, how to do it, etc.  I feel like I'm constantly wondering what the most appropriate thing is to do in a certain situation, so I've decided to ask my blog friends for advice. 1.)  Where is it not acceptable to breastfeed?  Church?  During a wedding ceremony?  At a friend's house if a male is present?  Now, I'd obviously use my hooter hider for all of the above.  But I'm so unsure of where it's okay and when it would be better to step out.  At church, I've been going to the restroom to nurse where they have a chair to sit in.  We are going to a wedding (not in a church) this weekend and I can leave, but would it be okay to nurse her in there if needed? 2.)  What in the world am I supposed to wear to make nursing easier?  I have several tops that are low-cut or stretchy around the top so I can easily pull those down to nurse.  What I have trouble with ...

I made such a huge step today by putting my sweet princess in the daycare at our gym so I could go to Zumba class. Now, before I play this off like I was perfectly fine with it, I should explain how it really went. I cried before I left the house, I cried again in the car as I drove very slowly and reluctantly towards the gym, and then I cried again at the gym when I walked out of the daycare from leaving her with the mean old sitter. Well, the sitter was actually in her early 30's and was very sweet. But still. I'm sure she isn't good enough for my little angel... :) So, I made it through the hour-long class and only checked on her twice. They came to get me at the very end of class because she was ready to nurse. And it's a good thing they did, because my milk had letdown about 2 minutes before that and I was aching!!! On a side note, Paisley slept 12 hours the night before last and only ate once during that time. Let me tell you how badly my boobs hurt when I...

Today, I made a big decision. I decided to not return to my job at the end of this month. This was a tough thing to do considering I really like my co-workers and my patients. I never knew that it would be so challenging to leave a baby and go back to work. My single mom worked full-time my whole life and I knew I'd be just like her. Until I met Paisley. And if we're being completely honest, I need her more than she needs me. But whatever. I'm not ready to leave this sweet little person yet and luckily, we're in a situation where I can stay home for a little while. Now, I'll have to work eventually but I'm hoping to do part-time then. Being a PA offers me some great opportunities to work part-time for good money. So we'll worry about that later. For now, I'm a full-time mom. And it's the most important, challenging, rewarding and time-consuming job I've ever had.