Smiling Through the Rain

My husband is a vet as many of you know, but his true hobbies are fish and tortoises. We had a great time the other day in our backyard when Paisley got to take a ride on one. It's amazing how strong they are. It could actually walk around with her on its back!

This post is actually quite premature as the true aftermath will last for years. The grief, healing, and rebuilding phases will continue long after most people remember that this tornado even happened to Moore, Oklahoma. But I thought I'd let people know what it's like to live in an area affected. We live in a neighborhood that has been destroyed on the north end. We luckily built our house on the south end. A walk through the neighborhood last night with the kids shows that every street gets worse than the one before it. It starts with debris filled streets and then slight roof damage and then trees down. Until you get to the street about 9 away from ours. It is like walking into a third world country. The houses are destroyed. We walked by one house that the whole front is ripped off and you can see an intact china cabinet untouched. There is no front door or windows but a hanging basket with flowers still hangs on the "porch". There are cars parked i...

Several of you have expressed concern on here and my phone nearly blew up yesterday with people asking if we were okay. Short answer is yes. Long answer is I feel shaken to the core. I feel sad for so many around me who have lost everything. Their pets, their homes, their lives. I question "what if" about alot of choices from yesterday. What if I'd decided to stay at our house so our kids could take afternoon naps like usual? What if I had chosen to leave the clinic for "better shelter" and put myself more in line of the storm? What if it took its original path and hit our clinic? I went to our vet clinic 7 miles from our house at 1:30 yesterday. At 3, my phone started erupting with warning texts, many from numbers I didn't even know. Everyone urging us to seek shelter immediately. We luckily have a TV at the clinic and started watching as a giant tornado formed mere miles from us. We had twelve minutes. What is difficult though is most pla...

My favorite thing in this world is babies in swimsuits!!! We got to go swimming for the first time this summer and I love these kids in their suits. They both had a blast and Graham would splash around and then laugh hysterically!

Living in Oklahoma all my life, tornados have always been a normal inconvenience to me. I have slept through a good number of tornado sirens and been guilty of ignoring the warnings to take shelter. For those that don't live in a place where tornados are the norm, they must seem terrifying. And honestly- they are. But only in recent years have they seemed so destructive and dangerous. In the past, they seemed to touch down in very rural counties where no one had ever lived. A crappy old barn might be damaged, but nothing too exciting. It was mostly irritating because all TV shows would be interrupted with our overexcited weathermen chasing the tornado around. What is awe-inspiring is how a tornado can just level an entire neighborhood in one swipe or even destroy one house while leaving the next one untouched. We have had this happen to people living within a few miles several times in recent years now and it never stops surprising me. May is an infamous month for the...

My second child was quickly turning into a worse sleeper than my first. It all changed at four months and this ship was sinking fast. He woke up at least every 3 hours still and the chunk weighs over 19 pounds. Did he not get the memo that he won't starve to death overnight and that my overworked nipples need healing time??? Sooo, six nights ago I was beyond exhausted and had determined that there was nothing at all that the boy needed. He'd been fed, bathed, fed again, snuggled, played with to the point of exhaustion and loved on. His room was comfortable in temp and lighting and sounds. In fact, I thought I had narcolepsy because every time I stepped foot in the room, I passed out cold. :) But I laid him down in his perfect sleeping environment and he woke up after 45 short minutes. So I let him cry for an hour. Yep. A whole hour. I turned the monitor off and wished our house was larger so that I didn't have to suffer through listening. Then my tough side ...

Yesterday we had a makeover party at my house which is totally not my thing for people who know me in real life. However, I'm now almost 33 and I have never known how to properly do my makeup or hair and rely on "natural beauty" to get me through. But that can only last so long before my age takes over... So we had a makeover party with me, my mom and my mother-in-law. Paisley was the one who enjoyed it very most though! She put on base, loads of eyeshadow and we drew a heart on her cheek with eyeliner pencils. The kid felt sooo pretty and special. The consultant mentioned numerous times that I was super calm as her mom and that she would have freaked out about her daughter being so messy. She even called me "Mom of the Year" which is a title I know I'll never actually deserve. So it got me to thinking... I guess I'm a pretty laid back mom. I definitely chose the parenting technique of "Pick Your Battles" and try to not have that...

We all have them and many are the same. Fears that are too painful to confront. We all just push them into a small dark corner of our mind and try our hardest to forget they exist. We strive to believe that they can't happen to us. These happen to people we don't know in places we've never been. Far, far away from our own safe, little life. For me, the day I decided I wanted a baby was also the day that these fears became overwhelming and powerful. There were times while dealing with infertility that the fear of never having a child controlled every bit of my soul. Then during my 2nd pregnancy, I was terrified that we would lose this baby just like we had the first. The thought of dealing with another loss was excruciating. Later, after being blessed with my two babies, it was worry over their health and safety. Mostly my kids have been super healthy kids and I am so fortunate for that. But it doesn't stop me from worrying that they are masking an underlyi...

Oh geez, just as I typed that title I realized that it sounds like this is a pregnancy announcement which is the farthest thing from the truth! This girl's baby making days are absolutely, positively, without a doubt OVER. I will be leaving my paragard IUD in and will start the pill once I stop nursing. (I need the pill for my PCOS). Those along with abstinence and I should be covered... And P.S. If one more person responds to my answer that I'm not having any more kids with "that's what so-and-so said and now she has three more OR you'll change your mind when Graham is a bit older OR so-and-so thought she was done and then she got pregnant after a tubal and vasectomy!!!" I don't want another baby as much as I love my two and those horror stories are not funny to me after my sleep deprivation and sheer exhaustion. Mostly it's the same foolish people who thought the advice to just relax was useful in "treating" my infertility. What ...