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Thankful

This week has been Infertility Awareness Week and I have been moved by so many of the blogs I follow. It's been common this week for people to recap their journeys. I am absolutely blown away by the strength of these women and how much they have endured. What's even more incredible is that they still hold on to hope for the future and continue trying for that dream baby even after so much heartache.

At times, I don't even feel like it's fair for me to be friends with some of these girls. Maybe I didn't try long enough. I didn't have to do IVF. I only had 1 miscarriage. And most of all, I'm pregnant now. And even though I am so grateful, it makes me feel guilty at times. I will continue to read blogs of those trying because it reminds me of where I came from and how fortunate I am. And I feel so incredibly happy when those girls finally have their babies!

I still have several close friends who are struggling to get pregnant. Some are farther along in their journey than I am. Some have been through more than me already. I just want to hide my bump around them and cover up my joy, even though I know they're happy for me. I would have been just as happy for them had this all worked out in reverse. But I still wonder "why me?" They deserve it just as much, if not more, and yet here I am. I feel like the luckiest girl in the whole world.

Each kick is so precious, the heartbeat so moving, and the expanding belly so beautiful that I have been frequently moved to tears. This is so much more than I ever expected and I'm just so thankful to be experiencing it.

I want to thank all of my blog followers and my fellow bloggers for the past 2 years. It has been an absolute blessing to have you all in my life and support me through it all. This is a rough road and I would never have made it on my own. I'm so glad we decided to share all of our personal business on the internet. :) It was the best decision I have made. I've met so many incredible girls who I feel connected to, inspired by, and forever grateful towards. And I just hope 2010 will bring many more blessings to those around me.

Comments

  1. What a lovely post. I know what you mean about feeling guilty sometimes, but don't let those feelings steel the joy that is everyday waking up with that baby growing inside you. You can't compare IF journeys as they are all so unique. It doesn't matter how long or hard you or anyone else struggled. We're all bonded through the heartache that is our lives not playing out the way we thought it was going to. And through that commonality, we've formed this community that I'm grateful you're a part of!

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  2. I second Tracey!! Lovely post and lovely blogger you are!!! XOX

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  3. Can I just say "ditto"? Everything you said is true. Can't wait to follow your right to birth and beyond!

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  4. I think that you are an inspiration for sharing your journey. I know that was not always easy to do! You deserve all of the good that is happening to you now! So happy for you Amber!

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  5. What a sweet post, you have so much to be thankful for! I have a feeling 2010 is going to be the best year of your life and mine too! :)

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  6. Great post!
    Its amazing how strong we can all be when it comes to becoming parents. We will fight until we have nothing left to get our children and its all worth it. I pray every day for the women and men who haven't been able to conceive and carry out a strong healthy pregnancy. Us interfiles have to stick together. :) I know what you mean about the people who go through more than we have. I have a friend who is on her second round of IVF and the chances are low that it will work. I pray for her every day. My husband and I only did one round of IVF and thank heavens it worked for us the first time. So I can't imagine how she's feeling going into her second round. Its unfortunate so many women are effected by infertility. Is something in the water?

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