This pregnancy has been a piece of cake. It's made it easy to keep it a secret, because I have a hard time remembering that I'm actually carrying around a tiny human. Sure my belly is getting larger and my appetite is equal to that of a 300 pound man. But otherwise, I'm symptom free this time.
Obviously the 1st pregnancy was just a huge disaster with the miscarriage and I can't honestly remember how I felt during because the only thing I remember was how much it hurt to lose that baby. Didn't really have time to think about morning sickness or moodiness.
Paisley's stay in the uterus was marked by pronounced nausea throughout the 1st trimester, extreme fatigue (could have swore I had the flu), food aversions, volatile mood swings (sad and angry), and extreme worry. I listened at least once a day with our doppler and freaked out the whole time in between. An ultrasound would provide about 20 minutes of reassurance before I would start the whole "what if" game in my crazy little head again.
But this time is different. And very pleasantly so. I found out by taking a home test when I realized that I was several days late. The only reason I checked was that I had a bottle of wine with my name on it and I decided it would be irresponsible if I didn't make sure that I wasn't pregnant. But just like the other 2 times, I knew I was. When that urine hit the stick, I knew 2 lines would appear. I've only had that feeling 3 times and it was right on the money every time.
Aaron and I immediately began making plans and privately celebrating instead of crying myself to sleep at night with worry and fear. There have been days that I've actually had to calculate how far along I am, whereas with Paisley I could have told you to the minute. I've been super active this pregnancy with playtime and even exercise as opposed to the last one when I felt like if I got up from a chair too quickly, she might just fall out. Not kidding.
Most of all, I feel calm and confident and whole. This baby completes our family. And my heart grew 5 sizes the day this little one came into existence. This infertile girl has won. And I pray with every bit of my soul that the same happens for each one of you out there on the same path. :)
Obviously the 1st pregnancy was just a huge disaster with the miscarriage and I can't honestly remember how I felt during because the only thing I remember was how much it hurt to lose that baby. Didn't really have time to think about morning sickness or moodiness.
Paisley's stay in the uterus was marked by pronounced nausea throughout the 1st trimester, extreme fatigue (could have swore I had the flu), food aversions, volatile mood swings (sad and angry), and extreme worry. I listened at least once a day with our doppler and freaked out the whole time in between. An ultrasound would provide about 20 minutes of reassurance before I would start the whole "what if" game in my crazy little head again.
But this time is different. And very pleasantly so. I found out by taking a home test when I realized that I was several days late. The only reason I checked was that I had a bottle of wine with my name on it and I decided it would be irresponsible if I didn't make sure that I wasn't pregnant. But just like the other 2 times, I knew I was. When that urine hit the stick, I knew 2 lines would appear. I've only had that feeling 3 times and it was right on the money every time.
Aaron and I immediately began making plans and privately celebrating instead of crying myself to sleep at night with worry and fear. There have been days that I've actually had to calculate how far along I am, whereas with Paisley I could have told you to the minute. I've been super active this pregnancy with playtime and even exercise as opposed to the last one when I felt like if I got up from a chair too quickly, she might just fall out. Not kidding.
Most of all, I feel calm and confident and whole. This baby completes our family. And my heart grew 5 sizes the day this little one came into existence. This infertile girl has won. And I pray with every bit of my soul that the same happens for each one of you out there on the same path. :)
It is such an amazing feeling!! Our family feels complete with the arrival of Reagan and I also feel I beat infertility-a great feeling!! I'm so happy for you!
ReplyDeleteOhhh I'm so happy for you guys!!!! :) What a blessing! And that face that you are getting to actually enjoy it is so amazing :) Are you going to find out the gender? xo
ReplyDeleteIt's a boy.. If you are not sick at all then this time it's SOOO a boy! Were you guys planning to get pregnant or was this a surprise!?? Just curious...
ReplyDeleteCongrats!!!!! Xoxo
Congrats!!! That's so exciting for you guys. Paisley is going to be such a good big sister!
ReplyDeleteYour post is very encouraging to me. I am almost seven months pregnant with my first after over four years of nothing. She was a miracle - we'd given up, and she surprised us! As thrilled as I am, I am also always scared something will happen to her. It's exhausting. My husband feels the same; if he had his way, I wouldn't leave the bed except to pee! At this moment, the only thing that makes me want even a wee bit to do this again is that we'd love to have two kids. I relate strongly to things you've said in the past about being content with only your one treasure - I am, and could be, though I'd like to have two, but I really think part of my feelings are based more on how scary this pregnancy is (and really, very little actual REASONS to be scared) than anything else. I don't know if this is coming out right so I'm going to stop.
ReplyDeleteOh this makes my heart SO happy! I know how you feel - to feel whole and complete. Because THIS infertile won too:).
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!!! My little guy is not even 10 weeks old and I'm already excited about the next one (knock on wood!). Turns out being a mom is a blast!
ReplyDeleteNot sure if you were STARVING with Paisley, but I almost ate my hand off one day when a meeting ran late before lunch. I was ravenous...and it was a boy - maybe she'll have a little brother!
Hey Stranger! How crazy is this?! Our second is due aug. 12! I just turned 12 weeks too! Congrats to you ;)
ReplyDeleteCongrats! It's so nice to know that if we have another, it won't be so scary the next time.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are able to really enjoy this pregnancy!!!!!
Ohmygoodness!! Just saw the exciting news. I'm Soooo happy for you! What a huge blessing/miracle. My second (really third) was really so much more enjoyable too...until I was big and pregnant and carrying around a 25+ pound child. :) But it was much better than the paralyzing worry. Keep us updated!!
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