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Someone call for an exorcism

We have a demon living in the house. It comes out at the most inopportune times and strikes without warning. There is no way to control it or predict it. And we are seeing it around more and more as of late.

It lives within my adorable little 2-year-old.

She can be happy and adorable one minute. Then out of absolutely nowhere, she loses her flippin mind. It's like something evil possesses her and starts making crazy talk. She suddenly doesn't like anything ("Paisley don't like that") and the demands start pouring out. "Paisley NEEDS water", "Turn TV on", "Blankie pleeeeease".

And while you're attempting to fulfill one of Her Majesty's many ridiculous requests, she is already spouting out the next 50 at an auctioneer's
speed.

By the time the cycle of insanity has ceased due to the diva either a.) falling asleep or b.) finding someone else to drive crazy, I am so mentally exhausted that I find it hard to remember how to breathe much less carry on with my day.

Let's take a routine morning lately as an example. I go wake Sleeping Beauty because she rarely wakes up on her own by the time we need her to. She grumbles as I get her out of the crib and halfway down the hall is already demanding her milk. She wants to be placed in the boppy pillow (perfect for a toddler to cuddle) and then covered with a blankie. The one she requests which changes frequently. Sometimes it changes by the time you get back with the one she JUST asked for and she decides that's not the right one anymore.

If you don't already have a cartoon on the TV, you've messed up. Then you just leave her alone. You can lay down unmoving beside her but don't talk to her or try to get her ready. And certainly don't make eye contact. I usually choose to snuggle her and soak up the quiet.

After about 30 minutes, I tentatively start to get her dressed realizing that there is a 90% chance of rebellion. She will refuse to pee in either her diaper or the potty at this point even though her diaper is still bone dry from overnight and I know that her teeny bladder is bursting.

She'll wait though until we get Graham loaded in the carseat and I gather all of our stuff before announcing that "Paisley go potty".

Sweeeet.

Then she decides on which coat ahe wants to wear along with several unnecessary items to bring which are usually large and heavy, such as her playdoh set or dog guitar. She will circle my car 4 times before climbing in all by herself slowly. "Paisley do it. Move away, mama" as she drags her tiny body and large baggage with her.

As soon as we are finally in the car 45 minutes later regardless of the sucky weather I have been standing in, she wants to hand me her crap she just had to bring with us as soon as I start driving. Perfect time to reach back for a keyboard or tea party set.

So, I'm late for everything nowadays. And I usually look like I've been taken out by a freight train. Please just say a sweet little prayer for me. And ignore the fact that my two year old seems to think I'm her well-paid personal assistant. She is just teaching me what they meant by "Pick Your Battles."

Comments

  1. You described my daughter to a tee. And I have 2.5 year old twins so when one manages to have a (rare) meltdown free day...the other one chooses those days to wake up screaming about a twisted sock or something random and so it really is never ending. I find myself tiptoeing around my 2 year olds. Asking questions and making them repeat so that when I bring them milk in the pink sippy cup and they have a meltdown, I can remind them that they CHOSE that cup. I find that telling them the plan for the day- "we're going to wake up and we have to get going quickly because we have an appointment so you have to be a good girl/good boy and listen" does help. It just helps them to know, repeated several times, what the plan is so they can be ready for it, especially if leaving the house. Also, choices. I will give them 2 choices- do you want this cup or that. Do you want milk or water. I think giving them the sense of empowerment helps their little 2 year willful selfs to feel like they've accomplished something. But, your'e right. It's pick your battles....not daily but hourly. We're all in this together!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yikes. haha. I will definitely say a sweet little prayer for you. Funny because just as of a few days ago Samantha started this demon growl, it's actually pretty funny. And a tad bit scary. I keep telling myself that toddlerhood will be a breeze with her because infancy was ROUGH. But, I know that is a ridiculous thought and I'm sure she will have some Paisley demands! :)

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  3. I want my little boy to stay 1 forever or go right to 3!

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  4. Well that sounds terrifying! !!!! I will appreciate my 1 year old for now!!!!!!

    Best of luck to you!!!!!!!!!

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  5. Haha! Mine fling requests/demands at me left and right! I get so annoyed! Meal times seem the worst as I just circle between their chairs and the counter/fridge/stove trying to fulfill each request, lol! Two year olds are somethin' else for sure! Oh and when Jax started having those meltdowns, I was pretty sure he was possessed too. Oh. My. God. I've never seen such a thing! Addy has meltdowns but NOTHING like Jackson - I think some kids just have that temperament. Anyway, good luck with your little diva:). Know that this too shall pass...but that age three is just as rough if not worse, so just set your sights to FOUR, lol!

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  6. Lol, I love your blog posts! My kids are now 13 and 15 and I definitely know what you are experiencing. Keep up the great work and doing the best that you can, your kids will be soooo well balanced in the long run. Take that from a school teacher too!!

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