Amber and Aaron

Amber and Aaron

The Fun We've Already Had...

  • Graham Tomas born July 31 at 5:04 P.M. weighing 8 lbs, 12 oz.
  • December 2, 2011: PREGNANT!!!
  • Paisley Kate arrived August 21 at 5:38 P.M. weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz
  • DUE DATE: August 25, 2010!!!
  • Dec. 14, 2009- PREGNANT!!!
  • Oct. 07,2009- Had elective D&C.
  • Sept 28, 2009- No embryo on ultrasound. :(
  • Sept 15th, 2009- We found out we're PREGNANT!!!
  • Sept '09- Aaron had varicocele repair.
  • July '09- IUI #1 with HCG shot= No such luck
  • April '09- Ovarian drilling surgery, followed by hospitalization for uterine infection
  • Jan-Mar '09- metformin + 3 rounds of clomid= no ovulation
  • Dec. 11, 2008- Hysterosalpingogram (Fancy word for shooting dye through the ovaries. OUCH)
  • Nov '08- Sent to RE. Tried metformin alone for two months (No ovulation)
  • Oct '08- Diagnosed with PCOS based on amenorrhea and crazy hormone levels.
  • June '08- Aaron convinced me to start trying.
  • June '04- Got Hitched!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Someone please, get this woman a book on etiquette

It was just one of those days. You know the kind. When you feel like you're the target on the show "Punked" or "Boiling Point". Something insanely impossible happens and you find yourself looking around the room for the hidden camera or waiting for the whole production crew to pop out of a plant and laugh their heads off at your misfortune.

Except no one shows up. So you're left there accepting the fact that it really did just happen and someone really was that rude/stupid/inconsiderate... Maybe you'd like some details.

It's my half day on Wednesdays which is very lucky because it was definitely 4 hours too many. I had a brand new patient in this morning who is from the Phillippines. Seems nice, deep accent, too many questions about my personal life. Here's how the conversation went (Her grammar was still not perfect so I'm keeping it that way for the story.)

Nosy britches: "Are you married?"
Me: "Yes."
Her: "Any kids?"
Me: "Nope."
Her: "How long you married?"
Me: "Almost 6 years."
Her (with a complete look of what was either astonishment or disgust): "You married 6 years and no kids? You no ready or you have trouble?"

And then she sat there. Staring at me like I had grown a unicorn horn out of my forehead. Or like I had just admitted to being a Nazi. I would love to tell you what my response was but I can't really say that I had one that another person could actually see. The room started spinning, my pulse was racing, thoughts started swirling.

I could have answered with a million responses. "Um, yeah, we've had what you might call a little bump in the road. We're almost 2 years out, $10,000 invested, 3 surgeries in, and we just had a miscarriage. But really, we're just dragging our feet."

"Nope, we're not ready. Totally irresponsible party people, we are. I just stop drinking long enough to come to work and then it's back to the club for me."

"We're actually going through a divorce." "I'm a lesbian." "It's none of your F-ing business."

But when I didn't respond, she instead decides to throw in there, "well, I got married at 23 and we had our 1st baby at 25 and then another at 27. We only waited 2 years."

The worst part was, it almost seemed like she was insinuating that I'm a bad wife. And she's probably right. But not on this account. I'd do anything to make Aaron a father. I just refuse to clean his laundry, cook him dinner or clean our house adequately.

I left her room and told my nurse the story, and she looked at me with a shocked expression and said, "wow, she has no idea what thin ice she's on."

Crazy thing is, she's probably at home telling everyone she knows this same story and saying how weird she thought I was!


  1. I know a lot of asians who are quite blunt and nosy (no offence to any asians reading this). It's just in their nature. Most of them do need a book on etiquette. I've had my share of these types of experiences (from asians and non-asians).

    Sorry it was such a bad day for you.

  2. I am sorry, some people are so nosy. You are not a bad wife. I would have gone the lesbian route.

  3. I found your blog through another blog I read that had you listed as one of her favorites. I am a therapist, so can relate to our "clients" saying inappropriate things and not being able to say what we want back. To top it off, I'm an infant mental health therapist, so everyone I work with has kids...and usually they are parents who should NOT have kids. And they ask me if I have kids and look at me like I'm from Mars when I tell them I don't. They even ask me why, just like this lady did to you! Uggghh. Anyway, this is my blog in case you're interested:


  4. beotch!! I would have said something not-so-nice!! Sorry chicka.

  5. Ouch. Talk about a cultural clash.

  6. This is funny because I totally had this SAME conversation with an Asian nail tech while she was giving me a pedicure!

    And just like in your experience, my lady acted like I was a nut job for not having children yet.

    hmmm... interesting..

    Needless to say, she didnt get a very good tip.


  7. Let's blame it on cultural differences. Take comfort in the fact that her husband probably has 4 other wives and beats her around because she's a women. She probably had kids because he threatened to kill her and bury her if she didn't bear him a son to man the fields.

    Some people are unbelievable.

    I realize my comment sounds racist, but it is really a generalization about other cultures.

  8. Thanks a ton for the comments! It was just one of those moments that truly took my breath away. She obviously has no idea what it's like to struggle...

  9. Wow, What nerve.
    I loved your comment of "Were getting a divorce, I'm a lesbian" So funny. I wished you had told her that one.

  10. Some people are so naive and inconsiderate. What a jerk.