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A Mother's Love

I loved Paisley from the very second that I saw those double lines on the test.  It was the reason I was so afraid of another pregnancy loss.   My love for her grew with every ultrasound and every time I felt her move.  It was the reason I cried myself to sleep at night out of fear for losing her.  That love exploded the minute they laid her on my chest, and I burst into tears because the emotions were too overwhelming to contain.  

I thought I loved her as much as I could possibly ever love anyone at that moment.  But what I've found is that every single day, I love her more than the day before.   Every single morning when I wake up next to her, my heart swells with happiness that she is my baby.  That I've been given the most amazing job in the world of raising her.  And that in return, this little person will love me. 
 She has started smiling at me on purpose this week.  It's not because she farted or pooped her pants.  And I'm praying it's not because she thinks I'm funny looking...  Granted, she also smiles at the elephant above her changing table, the wall, the ceiling, etc.
 She got in her bumbo chair for the 1st time yesterday.  Well, we put her in it. She didn't exactly waddle across the room and hop in.  She may be advanced, but that's just silly.

My only hope is that she grows up happy and healthy.  I want her to look back fondly on her childhood and remember how much she was loved and adored. I spend hours just trying to memorize every expression she makes and the way she feels in my arms and how I can feel her breath on my chest at night when she's cuddling me.  I know these days will pass much too quickly and I'm trying to savor them so that I can look back on them when she's a 13-year-old diva who thinks she knows everything...

Comments

  1. :) Made me smile! I love all of her cute outfits!

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  2. I agree with RELH, she has the best clothes! And what a great post. You know what we have that I love? A flip video camera. It's a tiny HD camera, takes pretty great video, and it's right on hand and easy to use. I often use it to capture moments that I'm desperately trying to memorize, even if it's just a few seconds of them making a cute expression! I think it's fairly cheap, you should check it out.

    P.S. She's adorable! =)

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  3. She is so freakin' cute! I know what you mean about loving them more every day...it's like you don't think it's possible and then it happens, with each new day. Enjoy! Oh, and love the giraffe playmat..we have the zebra one exactly like it:).

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  4. Wow, she's beautiful! And you're so right, I can't believe how much I love her mire every day! How is it possible to love someone this much?

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  5. Thanks for making me cry lol. Maybe it's the hormones,. but I love how much you love and adore her ( i didn't expect any less) I need to come see her again. You are a wonderful mommy.

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  6. Yes - cutest outfits ever! Oh, and I love those Aden and Anais blankets. They're fabulous!

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  7. I sometimes check out your blog, and I was wondering...where did you get the giraffe pillow from? That is so cute. Not as cute as your little girl of course:)

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  8. She's so beautiful! I just love the pics!!

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