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Seperation Anxiety

Paisley has entered a new phase I'm affectionately calling, "Mommy-Can't-So-Much-As-Turn-Her-Back-On-Me-Or-I'll-Scream-Bloody-Murder".  It's a blast around here.   She has been great about playing with others until last week.  When all of a sudden, she decided that anyone other than mommy is a threat to her well-being and she must attach herself to me to avoid certain danger.

I realized what was going on when I put her in the gym nursery.  She didn't last 10 minutes and the ladies came to get me because she was screaming.  When I took her from them, she instantly stopped crying.  When I tried to hand her back, she plastered her little body to me and wouldn't let go.  We tried several times before I finally put up the white flag and did everyone a favor by leaving with my dignity somewhat intact. 

She wants me to hold her a lot right now, which I adore.  But I can't get a single thing done with her attached to me like a magnet.  And this was all still okay up until 4 nights ago when she stopped sleeping.   We'd had about 3 weeks that she was sleeping through the night almost every night and I was such a happy person.

But for the last 4 nights, she has went down around 9-10 pm, and wakes about 2-3 am.  Screaming.  Really LOUD.  She would previously whimper and whine a little but then put herself back to sleep.  Apparently, we threw that system out the window and decided that screaming unconsoleably would work better.  And I'll give her that it gets my attention.

I've tried to let her cry it out since I'm exhausted.  But it lasts for hours.  She'll be quiet for a minute, but then it starts up again.  I've tried nursing her, and it calms her down until I try to lay her down again.  I've tried patting her on the back and letting her know I'm there, but she just reaches for me and tries to crawl out. 

The only thing that has gotten anyone any sleep is to put her in our bed.  And even then, she does a lot of tossing and turning.  I keep calling it her "restless body syndrome".  So as usual, I have no idea what's going on or how to fix it.  Is it all part of her seperation anxiety phase?  Is it teething?  Does she just want to make me crazy???

Comments

  1. This is one of my biggest fears! Developmentally, she's at an age where this starts, so it's very, very normal. As with all things, it's a phase and she'll outgrow it. In the meantime, I'm not sure what you do. My gut says to give her what she needs. She'll learn that she can be secure because mama will always come back and take care of her.

    A friend told me that everything about a baby is a phase. When things are going well (sleeping through the night for example), it's a phase and eventually there will be issues that pop up here and there. Her point? Bank on nothing. You never know who you're going to get day to day. Great, huh?

    Good luck!!!

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  2. Presley just started something similar at 5 months. Its more of while we are around other people. She won't let anyone but me or my husband hold her. She screams if someone other than us is holding her. (seriously, they are not trying to hurt you little child)

    I'm not sure what the solution is. I'm getting nothing done around the house.

    She doesn't throw a fit when we drop her off at daycare 3 days a week though. BUt she's been going there since 12 wks and i guess she feels confident we are coming back for her and she consistently sees her 2 teachers 3 days a week.

    Keep us posted on this. I'm afraid the current situation is going to get worse as she gets bigger and more aware. sigh. I'm to the point where we are ready to start scheduling as regular as possible date nights and I don't want her throwing a fit with the babysitter we use.

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  3. Yeah, so when you figure out how to fix the separation anxiety thing, let me know. Callie's been doing this the last week or so and it's already annoying. Thankfully it hasn't interfered with her sleep but there's not much that gets accomplished around the house at night because she wants us to sit next to her while she plays. No, we don't have to be playing with her...we just have to be next to her. This phase better end quick! :)

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  4. Jax is doing the EXACT same thing, and let me tell you, it's a pain in the a@$ when I am trying to take care of another baby, too! It's very normal for this age - they have developed object permanency so they know you exist when you are out of their sight (believe it or not, they used to think we just disappeared when we were out of their sight) and so they want you back when you leave! So, you get separation anxiety and sleep issues. Like I said, it is normal AND what they are supposed to do at this age, if that helps at all. But it is exhausting. I have to get Jax up usually after I put him to bed to sit on my lap for 15-20 minutes and try to put him back down which we NEVER have had to do before now. And usually Addy is screaming for me. It's awful. I hope he leaves this phase soon. And I hope Paisley does for you, too...but something tells me we have a couple of months of this at least:). Good luck, hun!

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  5. Oh I am so sorry, that has to be very difficult and frustrating. I am not much help since our kids are around so many people that they're okay -- unless of course I am sitting there and they're tired then they all follow me around crying "mamamammama." haha I hope it gets better soon, especially if it's upsetting everyone's sleep! Hang in there.

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  6. Teething? Molars? Growth spurt? Super hungry? Nightmare? All of them? ... aren't the options fun! She'll get over it if you stay consistent and stubborn with leaving her in her own bed. Kids really take to consistency and routine well.

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