Amber and Aaron

Amber and Aaron

The Fun We've Already Had...

  • Graham Tomas born July 31 at 5:04 P.M. weighing 8 lbs, 12 oz.
  • December 2, 2011: PREGNANT!!!
  • Paisley Kate arrived August 21 at 5:38 P.M. weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz
  • DUE DATE: August 25, 2010!!!
  • Dec. 14, 2009- PREGNANT!!!
  • Oct. 07,2009- Had elective D&C.
  • Sept 28, 2009- No embryo on ultrasound. :(
  • Sept 15th, 2009- We found out we're PREGNANT!!!
  • Sept '09- Aaron had varicocele repair.
  • July '09- IUI #1 with HCG shot= No such luck
  • April '09- Ovarian drilling surgery, followed by hospitalization for uterine infection
  • Jan-Mar '09- metformin + 3 rounds of clomid= no ovulation
  • Dec. 11, 2008- Hysterosalpingogram (Fancy word for shooting dye through the ovaries. OUCH)
  • Nov '08- Sent to RE. Tried metformin alone for two months (No ovulation)
  • Oct '08- Diagnosed with PCOS based on amenorrhea and crazy hormone levels.
  • June '08- Aaron convinced me to start trying.
  • June '04- Got Hitched!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Baby Fever

Baby fever.  Girls always talk about it.  Especially when they see a tiny newborn outfit or hold a baby in the hospital or realize that their own kids are getting big.   But I have to admit that I just don't get it

I remember when my friends told me they were pregnant before we even thought of trying and I was so disappointed.  Not because I was jealous, but because I was so not there yet.  Of course I was happy for them, but no baby fever set in.  Baby showers never pulled on my heart-strings and I wasn't one to "ooh" and "aah" over stranger's babies.  Just not my thing.  Kind of like Tupperware parties or musicals.

Now, when I was at my low point in trying, I felt tremendous sadness at the sight of anything baby.  A poopy diaper at that point would have made me cry.  Now it's usually the smell that makes me tear up.  :)

But to be quite honest, I did not looooove the baby phase.  I didn't love the sleepless nights where I felt like I could do nothing right to make this tiny little person happy.  I didn't love losing the 25 pounds that didn't come off with delivery of my 7 pounder and her luggage.  I didn't love worrying about if she was eating enough or pooping enough.  I didn't love my sore, leaky breasts.  And I didn't love the constant fatigue from the sleep deprivation.

Of course, she was beautiful.  I loved her.  But not like I love her now.   She's amazing now.  She smiles and laughs and plays.  She actually LOVES me back.  I wouldn't go back for a second.  Maybe she doesn't cuddle as much, but she's so funny.  And maybe I can't just lay her in one place to get something done, but now she follows me around and mimics me.

I think at the time I worried that I wouldn't ever bond with her the way people describe.  Most moms describe it as an instantaneous love that is greater than anything.  And maybe it already was.  But it was nothing like it is now.  Like any other good relationship, I feel like it's one that just continues to get better with time.  She's my best friend these days.  So I'll gladly pack up her little tiny clothes in exchange for a more reciprocal relationship!

2 comments:

  1. I always thought I loved newborns...until I had my own. It was SO hard. I still love babies though and I will always have a small baby fever. I adore babies. My life's work is babies, there is something so magical about them in the first year. BUT, I know what you mean. I absolutely love this 1 year old stage. How fun he is, how grown up he seems. It's amazing. Glad you are enjoying your sweet girl:).

    ReplyDelete
  2. I took this as you showing me there is light at the end of the baby tunnel :) Roman still doesn't sleep at night, still doesn't nap and he's 12 weeks... I'm completely exhausted, as you know since you've been there too. I feel like I've gone 12 weeks without a wink of sleep! I am envious of your sleeping, walking, mimicking and funny little toddler ;)!!! And I did appreciate your humor at "tearing up over the smell now"!

    ReplyDelete