Smiling Through the Rain

Life around here is getting back to normal.  Aaron went back to work and has been able to do surgery without paralysis in his arms.  :)   Definitely a positive for the animal he's operating on...   Miss Paisley has been running all over the house, clinic, baby gym, mall, grocery store, etc.   Her tiny little legs NEVER. STOP.MOVING.  It's actually amazing.  I wonder how she isn't sore the next day from the high mileage she puts on them.  And I realized several things this week.  1.) She doesn't get into things .  I still haven't baby-proofed anything in our house with the exception of the plug-in protectors.  And let's face it, I'm just not willing to risk it with electricity and my only child.   2.)  She's really happy .  Many days, we go without any tears or fits.  She smiles a lot and laughs hysterically when we play peek-a-boo, if a cat or dog licks her feet or face (yep, we let them...), or during parachute time at the gym.   But let's be

I sometimes wonder why I don't have time in the day to blog for 15 minutes.  And then I upload our pictures from the month and remember that this little princess of mine keeps me SUPER busy!!!   Here's what Paisley's been up to these days: Learning to drive her car, which was a 1st birthday present from her Grandma.  She fills the trunk of it with her bracelets and necklaces! Posing for the camera- don't let her fool you.  She's a diva! Cheering on her Cowboys! Helping daddy with a raccoon spay at work Eating corn on the cob at the state fair (Look- no hands!!!) Picking apples at the state fair Cheesing for the camera right before we tried to take professional photos for the 2nd time.  This smile quickly turned to tears when we went into the studio...  :( Playing at Gymboree Laughing like crazy at Gymboree Again, Gymboree.  We have LOTS of fun here! I apologize once again for being such an absentee blogger.  I read everyone els

Aaron and I spent our first two nights away from Paisley this week.  Unfortunately, it entailed Aaron being hospitalized and me sleeping on a cot while nurses came in all hours of the night.  Maybe you'd like more of an explanation... Aaron had a NASTY virus starting Friday night which caused high fevers (over 103 while taking tylenol), chills, extreme fatigue, etc.  You know, the good old flu type symptoms.   He was better enough by Monday morning that he went to work but had the other vet do the surgeries.  While his flu-like symptoms were getting better, his muscle aches and weakness were getting worse.  Not normal. He realized that he couldn't even write with a pen due to tremors in his hands.  We thought about it for a while that evening and finally decided that we were worried enough to go to the ER.  Which we NEVER do.  The only other time we went was when my uterus tried to rot out following my ovarian drilling.  Luckily we did, because he was diagnosed with rhabd

Today, I did something I never ever thought I'd do again.  I called my RE's office and scheduled an appointment.  My heart was racing and I felt like I was choking back tears as the phone rang.  I actually felt dizzy when I heard the sweet voice answer, "Center for Reproductive Health".  Amazing how different this feels from the first time around.  I was naive and ignorant and excited about starting my family.  Sure I'd been told that things weren't normal and deep down I knew that.  But I had NO idea what pain would follow nor what great lengths we would go to for a baby.  However, I was also unaware that it would all be worth it once I got my perfect baby. I'm committing myself to this again.   I've been charting my basal body temperatures again this month,  started OPK's today (CD 13, but since my cycles are freakishly long now I'm sure I haven't missed it), and I'll be seeing my favorite doctor in the world next Wednesday.  May

Crap.   My approval to see Dr. Haas came in the mail today.  I totally expected them to deny it.  He's not a covered provider anymore.  And I should be excited but this is REAL now. I can call his office and make an appointment.  Anytime.  And then I'll admit that once again I'm not normal and drag myself into his clinic to hear whatever kind of crazy bad news he has to say in his compassionate way.   The first time around, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I'm not quite so blissfully naive now. And I have my beautiful angel.  What am I really willing to do for another?  I definitely don't want to take any time or money away from Paisley.  And maybe we're not ready for another baby anyways.  Maybe I never will be. But what if I regret it if I never try again?  There's enough doubt in my mind that I'm not certain.  There are several reasons that I can't wait on this forever.  One :  my age.  Yeah, we're "only" 31, but

Day 40 brought AF knocking on my door again, which is exactly when it's started every month since I weaned Paisley.  Yay for consistency.  Boo for not even coming close to falling in the "regular range".  And if you're wondering why I haven't blogged in over a week, it's because it nearly killed me.  (And my marriage.)   The cramping was terrible, my bloating made me consider pulling out my maternity clothes, I was sleeping more hours in a day than I was awake, and my mood was horrendous.  Like clomid horrendous .  Honestly, if they start going this badly from now on, I'm ready to sign up for some good ol' birth control.  A very familiar feeling set in with this cycle and I remembered why I had been on birth control for SO many years.  Because my periods sucked.   And they made me really physically and mentally sick.  Whereas, birth control made things wonderful.  Like rainbows and unicorns appeared near a beautiful stream, erasing the dark cloud