Today, I did something I never ever thought I'd do again. I called my RE's office and scheduled an appointment. My heart was racing and I felt like I was choking back tears as the phone rang. I actually felt dizzy when I heard the sweet voice answer, "Center for Reproductive Health". Amazing how different this feels from the first time around. I was naive and ignorant and excited about starting my family. Sure I'd been told that things weren't normal and deep down I knew that. But I had NO idea what pain would follow nor what great lengths we would go to for a baby. However, I was also unaware that it would all be worth it once I got my perfect baby.
I'm committing myself to this again. I've been charting my basal body temperatures again this month, started OPK's today (CD 13, but since my cycles are freakishly long now I'm sure I haven't missed it), and I'll be seeing my favorite doctor in the world next Wednesday. Maybe another baby isn't meant to be, and that's okay. God blessed us with Paisley and we are more than fortunate to have her. And our hearts are still very open to adoption if that's the path that opens to us.
I feel peaceful with this decision and ready to endure it again. And at least this time, I have a precious baby to love on if times are hard. So, let's get this show on the road!
I'm committing myself to this again. I've been charting my basal body temperatures again this month, started OPK's today (CD 13, but since my cycles are freakishly long now I'm sure I haven't missed it), and I'll be seeing my favorite doctor in the world next Wednesday. Maybe another baby isn't meant to be, and that's okay. God blessed us with Paisley and we are more than fortunate to have her. And our hearts are still very open to adoption if that's the path that opens to us.
I feel peaceful with this decision and ready to endure it again. And at least this time, I have a precious baby to love on if times are hard. So, let's get this show on the road!
Good for you! I know it's SO hard to take the first step when you know the pain that may await you...I wish a quick and easy journey this time for you:).
ReplyDeleteWow this is exciting (and scary!) but I think you are so brave for trying it again! Like you said it was all worth it in the end :) Can't wait to hear about your appointment! Im already thinking ahead about the 3 frozen babies we have waiting if we ever want to try for a second baby. Which terrifies me to think about going through all this worry again, but at the same time I know I would try :)
ReplyDeleteYay for the next step!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back to the bandwagon! We just got on board ourselves! It's still exciting and scary and absorbing, but not AS much as the first time. Davie takes a lot of my attention, where as before her TTC got ALL of my obsession!
ReplyDeleteLet us know how the appointment goes!
way to go, Amber! =)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you feel peaceful.
ReplyDelete