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Does this make my butt look big?

I guess my week wasn't bad enough and I still had most of my dignity (score: one pelvic exam and no rectals), so I decided to torture myself tonight by doing the most self-deprecating thing in the world: shopping for swimsuits.

The fun starts when you finally find a suit worth trying on and realize that they don't have your size. I do appreciate that they sell tops and bottoms separately now (my booty is a little larger than my top) but I always find myself thinking that maybe, just maybe, I can fit my curvier half into a size small. I seem to have a slightly contorted self-image and a knack for making myself look ridiculous.

After I've finally collected the best choices in mostly appropriate sizes, I head for the dressing room. I feel like they purposely installed the most unflattering lighting available for this occasion. Even though I'm usually pale when trying on swimsuits, the lighting makes it even more so and suddenly I'm a little jaundiced.

Making the situation even more painful is the fact that Target has two mirrors in each fitting room, allowing you to see the "junk in your trunk". This eliminates me from pretending that even if the front isn't flattering, I'm sure that the back makes me look like a supermodel.

But amazingly, I actually found three swimsuits that I love! I went ahead and bought them all because that never happens to me. So I guess now I'm ready for Mexico next week!!!

It's interesting that last year at this time I wasn't buying new bikinis because I assumed I would be getting pregnant soon. A year later, I'm buying up all the cute bikinis I can find. I even started buying new jeans again. Bad news for our family planning, but great news for the clothing industry!

Comments

  1. Congrats on nice buys....and have a great vacation!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Congrats on the bathing suit buys.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hate bikini shopping but I love it when I find a nice score! I became addicted to them last year and bought like four! I found one yesterday that I bought,t hat I didn't need. But it was only $6.50! How could I pass THAT up?! Congrats on finding AND buying three suits that fit you. Have SO much fun in Mexico! Drink a yummy delicious margarita for me ;o)

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