So, I'm finding that pregnancy with a 2nd child is just different altogether. My first pregnancy (well, technically my 2nd) was so long anticipated that everyone made a big deal about it. All the time. It seemed to be all that people could talk about at work, family gatherings, by text, by phone, etc. In fact, I actually got a little tired of answering questions about my pregnancy by the end. "Boy or girl?", "When are you due?", "What names have you chosen?". These were all so common that I swore I was going to make a shirt that said, "we aren't finding out, August, and none of your business because you'll probably just make fun of them."
But it was super nice to have so many people look forward to meeting my sweet baby and it kept me excited too. What I've discovered is that after you successfully have one, the next just isn't all that great of an accomplishment to anyone else. It's like everyone thinks that we never had trouble. We are still not "normal people" who easily reproduce. We had surgeries to help correct our problems which thankfully have continued to help for now. And with a lot of luck on our side, this time worked out easier for us. But it is no less of a miracle!
And I don't want constant attention by any means, but it might be nice if people would mention my pregnancy a little more frequently (or ever). See how things are going, ask to see ultrasound pictures, act interested at least a bit. I have trouble feeling like this pregnancy is real because I have felt so great and it happened so effortlessly, so I forget that it's really happening when everyone around me acts like it isn't. Except at work where occasionally the doc I work for will ask if I'm doing okay, but I know it's only because he's already freaking out that I'm going to be off work soon. :)
Maybe this is pretty normal? Any of you have any experiences with 2nd pregnancies being a bit ignored?
But it was super nice to have so many people look forward to meeting my sweet baby and it kept me excited too. What I've discovered is that after you successfully have one, the next just isn't all that great of an accomplishment to anyone else. It's like everyone thinks that we never had trouble. We are still not "normal people" who easily reproduce. We had surgeries to help correct our problems which thankfully have continued to help for now. And with a lot of luck on our side, this time worked out easier for us. But it is no less of a miracle!
And I don't want constant attention by any means, but it might be nice if people would mention my pregnancy a little more frequently (or ever). See how things are going, ask to see ultrasound pictures, act interested at least a bit. I have trouble feeling like this pregnancy is real because I have felt so great and it happened so effortlessly, so I forget that it's really happening when everyone around me acts like it isn't. Except at work where occasionally the doc I work for will ask if I'm doing okay, but I know it's only because he's already freaking out that I'm going to be off work soon. :)
Maybe this is pretty normal? Any of you have any experiences with 2nd pregnancies being a bit ignored?
I have only had one, but my friend said she often forgot she was pregnant until she was huge, because no one ever talked about it.
ReplyDeleteSadly it happens. Guess it's the whole initial first baby. But I'm super stoked for ya! ;) but I kinda felt the same with my second. People care they just don't mention as much to ya. Till your all swollen from summer heat and about to pop :)
ReplyDeleteOh yes....this is normal. And I found, since I had the twins to keep me busy from sun up to sun down, that my pregnancy was often 2nd string until I could plop down at night after we put the twins to bed and could spend time loving my baby belly. Once the baby is here, there will be NO forgetting to ask/hold/see the new baby!
ReplyDeleteThat stinks! Where you and I and other infertile's come from... any pregnancy is a huge accomplishment! I do wish you would've made that shirt though, that would've been so awesome :) and I do want to know what your potential names for baby 2 are :)!
ReplyDeleteOH and clearly I named my baby Roman... pretty sure I won't make fun of any names you've picked! I love unique and different names. Being named Amber and there are millions of us, I thrive on learning new, fun names!
ReplyDeleteThis post was kind of a wake up call for me. One of my best friends (who I talk to multiple times a day) is pregnant with her second, and I confess I don't talk to her about her pregnancy much at all. I'm super excited for her (and REALLY hoping it's a boy so I can share G's clothes)but I guess since pregnancy isn't "new" to either of us, we just talk about other things. I must remember that every baby is a miracle, no matter what the birth order.
ReplyDeletePS I am dying to hear your names too :)