When I first found out that I was infertile, it seemed to open the door for unwanted comments. How everyone felt morally about different fertility treatments, what I needed to do to get pregnant (relax, adopt, etc) and meaningless reassurance that this would all work out.
When I finally found out that we were having a baby, a new set of discussions began. How large or small everyone thought I was, what books I should read, how important breastfeeding is, very honest opinions of the names I had chosen, which gender I was having (since both have been surprises).
And then when I first became a mother, it seemed to only worsen further. Now I get tips on eating, sleeping, potty-training, discipline, education, etc. And yeah, sometimes this is super helpful when it is solicited. It is NEVER good to get hints from a stranger, and yet they most like to give their input.
But the hottest topic of them all has got to be childbirth. Every single person seems to have a passionate idea on the subject. Even if they've never actually had a baby themselves. And my scheduled caesarean has definitely stirred the pot with some people.
I should start by saying that my blog family has been incredibly encouraging on this matter and I am SOOOO thankful for that. The comments have put my mind at ease and I have even re-read them multiple times. However, about 25% of the rest of the world thinks I'm crazy. I get everything from "don't you at least want to try to have the baby naturally?" to "the ultrasound is probably way off and the baby isn't that big." Yep, I know you have a 2nd cousin who delivered a 12 pound baby vaginally. Good for them. Is your 2nd cousin only 5'3" and weighing 115 pounds before pregnancy? Does your cousin have any bladder control left now?
This wasn't a decision I made on the spot. We've had since week 22 to think about what we'd do if our baby did continue to be large for gestational age. I've known for months that this was a very likely possibility. And I also have the medical background to know exactly what a c-section vs. vaginal delivery entails. I also know the risks with each. I've assisted on each type of delivery numerous times and know very well the bad outcomes that can happen during childbirth.
My doctor and I feel very secure in our decision to deliver this baby by c-section. If he/she isn't as big as we've been led to believe from MANY ultrasounds over the course of the past 14 weeks, then I'll be fine. As long as this little one comes into the world safely, I'm perfectly content with the birthing experience.
Just as I'm perfectly happy with your own birthing hopes and dreams. Have your baby at home or at the hospital. Get an epidural or do it natural. Eat the freaking placenta if you want. I don't care as long as it's what works for you. :)
I'm looking forward to a very short birthing process this time. I'm excited that I won't be cut from my hoo-ha clear up to the middle of my back (it seemed). I don't want to wear an ice pack in my underwear for a week or spray with a squirt bottle every time I pee since I can't wipe. I like the planning that I can do with this chosen date. And I especially love that I am making the safest decision for our baby based on lots of medical knowledge and some very educated guessing.
When I finally found out that we were having a baby, a new set of discussions began. How large or small everyone thought I was, what books I should read, how important breastfeeding is, very honest opinions of the names I had chosen, which gender I was having (since both have been surprises).
And then when I first became a mother, it seemed to only worsen further. Now I get tips on eating, sleeping, potty-training, discipline, education, etc. And yeah, sometimes this is super helpful when it is solicited. It is NEVER good to get hints from a stranger, and yet they most like to give their input.
But the hottest topic of them all has got to be childbirth. Every single person seems to have a passionate idea on the subject. Even if they've never actually had a baby themselves. And my scheduled caesarean has definitely stirred the pot with some people.
I should start by saying that my blog family has been incredibly encouraging on this matter and I am SOOOO thankful for that. The comments have put my mind at ease and I have even re-read them multiple times. However, about 25% of the rest of the world thinks I'm crazy. I get everything from "don't you at least want to try to have the baby naturally?" to "the ultrasound is probably way off and the baby isn't that big." Yep, I know you have a 2nd cousin who delivered a 12 pound baby vaginally. Good for them. Is your 2nd cousin only 5'3" and weighing 115 pounds before pregnancy? Does your cousin have any bladder control left now?
This wasn't a decision I made on the spot. We've had since week 22 to think about what we'd do if our baby did continue to be large for gestational age. I've known for months that this was a very likely possibility. And I also have the medical background to know exactly what a c-section vs. vaginal delivery entails. I also know the risks with each. I've assisted on each type of delivery numerous times and know very well the bad outcomes that can happen during childbirth.
My doctor and I feel very secure in our decision to deliver this baby by c-section. If he/she isn't as big as we've been led to believe from MANY ultrasounds over the course of the past 14 weeks, then I'll be fine. As long as this little one comes into the world safely, I'm perfectly content with the birthing experience.
Just as I'm perfectly happy with your own birthing hopes and dreams. Have your baby at home or at the hospital. Get an epidural or do it natural. Eat the freaking placenta if you want. I don't care as long as it's what works for you. :)
I'm looking forward to a very short birthing process this time. I'm excited that I won't be cut from my hoo-ha clear up to the middle of my back (it seemed). I don't want to wear an ice pack in my underwear for a week or spray with a squirt bottle every time I pee since I can't wipe. I like the planning that I can do with this chosen date. And I especially love that I am making the safest decision for our baby based on lots of medical knowledge and some very educated guessing.
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| Paisley laying on a bed of nails at our Science Musem- she's such a stubborn and brave little girl. |
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| The "tiny" baby at 36 weeks. Weight gain is holding steady at 27 pounds!!! Belly is growing so rapidly I feel that it might explode! |
Good for you!! I'm sorry that people have to be so annoying. One of my very best friends had ALL KINDS of criticism for the same thing - for her first baby. He was only 8lbs 8 oz, but did she regret it? Nope. She's had 3 other children, and of course, has received criticism for not even attempting a VBAC. I just don't understand why people have an incessant need to insert their opinion. IT'S NOT YOUR BODY!! So good for you for not listening to dumb people who think they know better than you, the one that's actually giving birth. I always believe that moms know best.
ReplyDeleteI had 2 c sections, first was after trying labor that was brutal. Second was scheduled c-section, it was wonderful. Now, I have never had a baby the other way so I can't tell you one it better than the other. But a c-section without labor is better than one with labor. I know you don't really need/want alot of advice but don't let your pain meds wear off for the first couple of days especially if you are going in the car. Bumps hurt, walking hurts. For me the hardest part was allowing myself to be lazy, don't do too much or you risk infection (got one first baby,second baby I was real lazy). Also, keep a pillow on your belly all the time when you older child is near, just in case. Sorry if this is too much advice. It is actually making me laugh remembering my son climbing on me after my daughter and me being in pain, it is funny now.
ReplyDelete"Eat the freakin placenta if you want." LOL love it. If I have another baby my dr said I have to have another c section...and I am TOTALLY fine with that :) Not looking to be a VBAC hero or anything. To each their own. But I honestly, wasn't sad or anything that I did have the vaginal birth experience. All I experienced in relation to that was my water breaking and contractions. And Im fine with that! My "birth plan" all through my pregnancy was "Get the baby out quickly and safely." :) AHHH! You are so close. Im so excited for you! And Paisley, you ARE a brave girl!! haha She has this look on her face like " What?? No biggie." :)
ReplyDelete*DIDN'T have the vaginal birth experience I meant
ReplyDeleteOh Lord. Crazy people. Of course you have thought about it, of course you researched it, of course you are doing what is best for you and your baby! Duh! Why can't people think of this BEFORE they open their big fat mouths? All of us mommies know the unsolicited advice story - it sucks. When it comes to MOST things parenting, we all weigh A LOT of things before we make our important decisions - and then people throw in a one second comment/criticism and expect that they are "teaching" us. Ugghh. And of course we can't go into a 10 paragraph explanation about WHY we chose what we chose because it is...well, NONE of their business! lol! Anyway, you go girl. You are doing exactly what is right for you and baby. I haven't guessed yet - but I say girl because I can just see you with 2 little girls, lol! I am SO freakin' excited for you. It will all be great!
ReplyDeleteYuck, people are annoying.
ReplyDeleteAs the mom, I think you probably have the best grasp of your baby and your body and what you need. And probably the second best person (your doctor) recommends this option as well. So I don't get it?
One time I asked my doctor if I should make a birth plan and she said I could if it made me feel better, but nothing would go exactly to plan and often it just makes the mom feel worse about whatever the outcome is. Then she asked me what the most important thing about the delivery was to me and I said a healthy baby first and foremost and then that I come out of this healthy as well.
And then she told me about people who were so adamant about certain birth situations and she said she would ask them . . . . did you get pregnant to have a natural birth or a baby? And I think that really puts things in to perspective.
Good for you for going with your gut!
As I was reading through your post I was thinking in my head... "why in the world would people tell a PA, who clearly has medical knowledge and experience, how to have a baby?!" It makes me angry for people to throw in their "ignorant" 2 cents. I get logical, thought through opinions, but lets face it, most people think they are experts, especially woman (sorry), in child birthing, fertility and parenting. You and your doctor are the only ones who know what's right for you. Good for you for making a decision based on safety and knowledge. You're looking fabulous by the way!!!
ReplyDeleteAMEN! And best of luck to you and your growing family! :)
ReplyDelete