Amber and Aaron

Amber and Aaron

The Fun We've Already Had...

  • Graham Tomas born July 31 at 5:04 P.M. weighing 8 lbs, 12 oz.
  • December 2, 2011: PREGNANT!!!
  • Paisley Kate arrived August 21 at 5:38 P.M. weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz
  • DUE DATE: August 25, 2010!!!
  • Dec. 14, 2009- PREGNANT!!!
  • Oct. 07,2009- Had elective D&C.
  • Sept 28, 2009- No embryo on ultrasound. :(
  • Sept 15th, 2009- We found out we're PREGNANT!!!
  • Sept '09- Aaron had varicocele repair.
  • July '09- IUI #1 with HCG shot= No such luck
  • April '09- Ovarian drilling surgery, followed by hospitalization for uterine infection
  • Jan-Mar '09- metformin + 3 rounds of clomid= no ovulation
  • Dec. 11, 2008- Hysterosalpingogram (Fancy word for shooting dye through the ovaries. OUCH)
  • Nov '08- Sent to RE. Tried metformin alone for two months (No ovulation)
  • Oct '08- Diagnosed with PCOS based on amenorrhea and crazy hormone levels.
  • June '08- Aaron convinced me to start trying.
  • June '04- Got Hitched!

Monday, February 11, 2013

Balancing Act

Am I the only one who is struggling to find some sort of balance in my life? I feel like I am constantly searching for the recipe for harmony while struggling to be a loving wife, attentive mother, and somewhat elusive office manager. And to think that I would still like to work as a PA part time again!!!

The days just feel like I'm juggling. I want more down time to just enjoy my sweet kids and talk to my neglected husband and maybe even play with my forgotten dogs! But it seems like from the moment my head leaves the pillow, I am rushing to keep things in order. And even then, I feel like I fail.

There are diapers to change, meals to eat, naps to take, baths to conquer, clothes to pick out, hair to fix (Paisley's, never mine), laundry to do, dishes to wash, a baby to nurse, toys to pick up, etc.... The list is never ending.

And then to split my time fairly is a whole other issue. Paisley is at an amazing age. And she loves to tell me stories and play and pretend. And when she was the only one, I felt that I was keeping up. But now I feel constantly torn over which bambino needs my attention MORE at that moment. And I fall asleep every night missing her.

I miss the focus being on just one. I feel sad when I watch her relationship grow stronger with my husband and my mom and feel her slip away from me. And I know it's tough right now. Graham is only breastfed and refuses bottles like they will kill him on the spot. And she isn't jealous towards him at all. But as an only child, the whole sibling thing is so strange of a concept.

So, I pray that one day my babies can both strengthen their individual relationships with me and that my time can seem more equal. And it would be incredible if my husband and I did more than high five as we rush past each other on the way to take care of the current child duty. Every once in a while we get the chance to laugh at something silly Paisley does.

How do you balance the circus at your house??? Do you feel that you are managing well?

5 comments:

  1. No. I love reading your blog though as you are so real and funny! I wish I could be of more encouragement but it doesn't get easier, just different (our girls are 20, 16, 13, and 9) tonight I have two sick ones AGAIN and my husband rushed off to the vet (haha) as soon as he got off work to drop one of our dogs off for a toe amputation. I will soon add recovering pooch! I will say you will definitely get more time with each child as they get older! And though I mourned the baby days I'm loving these ages too! I can tell you will really enjoy your children as they grow in each stage as well. My BEST piece of advice is to try as best you can to stay really connected to your husband. My husband and I ate 41 now and we got so caught up with the children we are now having to work to not feel like strangers! So, enjoy funny Mama and keep blogging!

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  2. This is the story of my life, minus the two kids part. Between work, school, husband, animals, and Avery I always feel like I am behind and in desperate need of a little me time.

    I can't imagine adding a new kid to the mix! I have a few friends where the ages split is similar to yours and they struggled at first, but as soon as the younger baby is more mobile its becomes a unit of the three of you because you can all do somewhat similar activities together.

    You are doing a great job and Paisley is obviously well adjusted because she has such a solid relationship with you!

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  3. Ummmm....no, most days, I am not managing well. We are all surviving. There are SO many demands on our time and energy. Some days I feel like I fail my kids, some days my job, every day my husband...and yeah, my OWN needs aren't even considered most days lol (It's 9pm and I still need a shower today!). Oh yeah...and my dog's life changed drastically and is lucky to get affection once a day lol. There is only so much of me. I have decided to give myself grace and forgiveness each day. I try hard, I love deeply and fully, I apologize for my mistakes (usually)....that HAS to be enough. Your kids are insanely loved, they know it in their bones...and from that love, they will build the rest of their lives. You are doing a wonderful job. Hang in there, momma!

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  4. Um nope! I feel that way even more now that I am taking care of another baby full time. My days are just one rushed juggling act! And my poor daughter clawing and crying at my leg for attention when I have to care for the other baby too. It breaks my heart into a million pieces. But Im pretty sure most people feel some degree of this. And if they say no..everything's just swell...they are lying. Or their kids are like 32. Hang in there. Most of the times to our kids and everyone on the outside we look like rockstars. Even though we don't feel that way at all!

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  5. Yep- I am not even a month in to parenting 2 kids and I can already tell you it is SO HARD. I feel constantly torn between them and the guilt just transfers from whatever kid I'm taking care of at the time to the other. Ugh. I have to think it will get easier as they get older- right?!

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