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This Baby is Totally Turning me into a GIRL...

I've never been the type of girl to cry very easily. Love stories make me nauseated, sappy moments on TV cause my eyes to roll, and even weddings fail to make me emotional. Everyone said that I'd cry at our own wedding, which I totally did NOT. I had the most giant smile plastered to my face the whole day. It was a happy day, after all!

Some would even say I'm a little unsympathetic (namely, my mother who is the queen of feelings). I care about others, but if you're continuously belly-aching over something I think is ridiculous, I may tell you to suck it up. That's just my way. My friends know I'll be there for them and I love them to pieces, but don't go calling me if you want to be overly emotional. I just don't get it...

We now affectionately blame all of this on the extra testosterone that I have due to PCOS. But there has been a drastic change recently...

Baby Gil is creating a new person in me. I get very teary-eyed when I see anything to do with babies. Even hearing one cry in a store or restaurant evokes a different response from me now (no longer irritation). We went to see a good friend's new baby in the hospital last night, and I was overwhelmed by holding such a sweet miracle. My husband and I even stood glued to the nursery window staring lovingly at newborns that we didn't know. Security must not be that tight, or we surely would have been escorted out...

Point is: I can't believe how much I love this little person. I'd give my life for a baby I've never met, but yet I feel like I know SO well. This is the most important thing I've ever done and it has changed me to the core. Already, I feel like a better person. And Gil will be so loved.

I remember my mom always told me growing up that I'd never understand the love she has for me until I had a baby of my own. She's completely right. The love I have for the baby is unlike any other feeling I've ever even imagined. It's an all-encompassing, overwhelming, completely unselfish love. Now, don't go thinking I'm about to turn into the "typical" girl who loves a romance novel or cries at Hallmark commercials. Not gonna happen. I'm still me, just with a very soft spot for Baby Gil...

Comments

  1. finchJune 26, 2010 at 1:54 PM

    So true. Like you, I'm already head over heels in love with this little person. If it's this intense in utero, I can only imagine how it will feel when he's actually born. I'm placing my bet now...crying or not at your wedding, you will shed tear's on Gil's b-day!

    ReplyDelete
  2. PriscillaJune 27, 2010 at 7:53 AM

    I wrote a post similiar to this recently!! I totally get what you're saying. It's amazing isn't it!!!?? :)

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  3. TraceyJune 27, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    It's a whole new world we're entering and it seems like it's going to reveal some new part of us to ourselves. Let the ride begin!

    ReplyDelete
  4. SarahJune 27, 2010 at 7:45 PM

    "Awwww!" (in a girly "awww" way) :) Loved this post.

    ReplyDelete
  5. emilyJune 27, 2010 at 10:12 PM

    I like the girly Amber just as long as the sarcasm that I'm so accustomed to doesn't go away! So, when certain people make fun of your crown at your baby shower you don't start getting your feelings hurt! =) Had fun today! Can't wait to see all of your good stuff in your nursery!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kate (This Place is Now a Home)June 28, 2010 at 2:02 PM

    Yep, I hear you! Same here. My husband used to joke about how I was emotionless (which is totally not true... I'm just not a crier, and I tend to be on the "get over it" side of the spectrum). But now? I tear up at diaper commercials and feel weepy at the drop of a hat.

    Perhaps this is what being a mom means?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Shannon PlumbJune 29, 2010 at 9:40 PM

    So sweet! You are going to be such a great mom! And it was so great to see you guys the other night! Brian kept saying how nice you guys are!:)

    ReplyDelete

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