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Feeling a bit more thankful this year!!!

Thanksgiving 2009 could have been erased from the calendar for all I cared.  Same for Christmas.  We didn't even put up a tree last year because of my pitiful mood.  Why celebrate?  We had just spent our 2nd year trying to get pregnant with miserable results.  I'd had my ovarian drilling followed by unexpected hospitalization for a uterine infection.  Aaron had his varicocelectomy.  Our RE was beginning to recommend using donor "goods" since ours seemed so flawed.  Our awesome BFP turned into a nightmare when our baby failed to develop.  That was followed by a D&C.

I dreaded the holidays last year.  I had to put on that stupid fake smile and wipe away my tears so the family would think things were fine.  When the video camera came out and my mother-in-law asked what everyone was thankful for, I wanted to throw it through a window.  When I found out about several unplanned pregnancies, my heart sank with jealousy.  When everyone pitied me because I was a mess, I knew they were right.

The year seemed to center around failure, disappointment, and tears.  Until December 15th, when the year made a last ditch attempt at salvation and I got another BFP.  And now that little 2nd line on the test is an amazing 3-month-old with a ton of personality packed into her little 12 pound body!

I am thankful for her curiosity in the world around her.  And for the chance to introduce her to new things.

I am thankful for her innocence and perfection.

I am thankful for her sweet voice, amazing giggles and adorable smile.
It's pretty much impossible this year to not feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  I've been blessed with so much in my life.  She was worth every single thing we endured during 2008 and 2009.  And for the first time in a very long time, I'm actually looking forward to the holidays.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Comments

  1. kkasunNovember 25, 2010 at 11:27 AM

    What a great ending! Congrats on an enjoyable 1st holiday season!
    She is adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  2. finchNovember 25, 2010 at 2:31 PM

    The holidays certainly feel different with a baby, don't they? Happy Thanksgiving!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousNovember 28, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    Happy Holidays Amber! Thanks for sharing this. Just recently it was the due date that should have been for my first BFP (and I lost that little one just around my birthday, so I know the feeling you describe). Your post has reminded me that the best way to honour the past is by being thankful for the present. Hope you had a great weekend!
    - Nisha

    ReplyDelete
  4. MaryNovember 29, 2010 at 10:20 AM

    Paisley is adorable! Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousNovember 29, 2010 at 3:37 PM

    Just too much adorable cuteness for one post! :) She's so beautiful! Happy Thanksgiving!

    ReplyDelete

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