Skip to main content

I Did Not Ask for your Opinion...

Funny how women have soooo many opinions about MY pregnancy. It's been happening everywhere since I started showing. Women just can't help but tell me their opinions about everything pregnancy/childbirth related.

Today, we had a new lady at work who continuously told me that I need to be reading to my baby all the time. Ummm, my baby doesn't currently have functioning ears. The baby is working really hard just to grow and develop vital organs, not read novels. Yet, I'm already being accused of being an unfit mother. :)

People like to tell me how my life is never going to be the same, I'll never sleep again, the baby will rule our household, my marriage is going to fall apart, to enjoy these last days with your spouse... I'm sure there is some truth to some of it, and lots of truth for some people. But we're all very different. Maybe you didn't plan on getting pregnant and maybe you don't have an involved husband. But we've been together 11 years and we've worked our tushies off to have this baby. Infertility has further solidified our marriage, and we welcome this baby whole-heartedly! I'm blogging at 9:30 on a Friday night. That's a good sign that a baby might just fit into my social life...

The biggest thing that I'm hearing opinions about is that we're not finding out the gender. People are not just surprised, they are apalled. It is unthinkable that a couple could actually CHOOSE to not find out until the baby is born. What is wrong with an old-fashioned surprise, people??? We will be so happy with either a boy or a girl, and I want to hear it for the 1st time when I meet the special little person. SO, it's set in stone for us. We're not finding out. Period.

Anyone else having a hard time believing that you're actually pregnant??? I just can't seem to wrap my mind around it. Seems like any day I'm going to wake up and find that the whole thing was just a dream. I can't find a sense of reality in the whole situation. And I'm also kinda weird about talking about it to casual acquaintances/coworkers/etc. I feel like this baby is our special little miracle and it seems weird to talk openly about it to others. Maybe I still feel like it will curse the whole thing. I'm thinking maybe the pregnancy hormones are just making me crazy!

Comments

  1. I think you guys have the right idea...had we gotten pregnant, we would have waited until our little angel was born to find out the sex.

    I hate people's comments. They are pointless and stupid and why they think they need to share their opinion is beyond me. I hear the same crap all the time. Like you guys, infertility did wonders for our marriage and because of that, we are a strong, healthy couple and our baby will only add to what we already have! I'm also blogging on a Friday night, we are such losers, lol! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. People need to mind their P's and Q's!!!! I am sure I'll be dealing with the same crap soon!!

    I hear you about everything feeling so surreal. I still have a hard time believing I am pregnant. Maybe when we start feeling some kicks it will feel real!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am totally with you on that...people never say anything positive about having babies....especially when you are having multiples. All I can say is that it is what you make of it. You are going to love this baby and it will be the best thing that has ever happened to both of you. Take it from me who has been on house quarantine for months. Every moment you spend with them is wonderful and worth it. No matter what sex...I can't wait for that exciting moment to find out what the sex is!! We love you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am with you on the comments, most people do not know where the appropriate line is. In saying this I think that society as a whole is lacking in personal communications with eachother. I think that sometimes people just want to connect with one another and therefore ask stupid questions because that want to be somehow apart of your journey.

    When someone says something stupid to me I try and think of how I can included them but also addressing what they said and why it is inappropriate! I think it is also good to point out that you and you DH are the only ones who can truely decide what is right for your family and that the best decision will come out of making it together not with them.

    I am glad your pregnancy is shaping up to be a good one! Rooting for you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am still in absolute disbelief that we're really pregnant. I speak about it like I'm talking about someone else. It really needs to sink and as I grow bigger and bigger, my guess is that it will.

    Almost everyone I know knew about our IF journey and I would send out fertilization reports and just kept everyone in the loop. I think that's why most of the people I know are just super happy for us and just keep telling us that we'll be the best parents ever. As more outsiders begin to find out, I imagine I will be getting the lectures that you're hearing. People are so socially inappropriate at times - many times. I don't get it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm so excited that you're pregnant! Keep telling your story, I just love it!

    When we're lucky enough to get pregnant, I don't want to find out the gender, either! There are so few surprises in life that are completely 100% joy with no downside whatsoever. Why not take advantage of such a gift, I say?

    Tiajuana/Tiwain *snort* that's just too funny

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm writing this post at 9:30 Saturday morning because my child, who is finally napping, has been up since 6:30 am. Shoot, I was IN BED at 9:30 pm last night.

    I was so sick of hearing people say to me, "Are you CERTAIN you're not having twins!!!" And I always seemed to hear this comment in a packed elevator...at work...where I had to be civilized. Ahhh, humans.

    So, by the way...you look precious and I too marveled at the maternity jean selection at Motherhood Maternity. It was a happy day to find those jeans. Yes, this is happening. Yes, you're officially a Mommy and yes, it goes incredibly fast - enjoy every single second...stupid comments and all!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think that it's super exciting that you're not finding out the sex. I just can't believe that you're doing it with your history of secrets! I wish that we would have done that with Quinn, but Colby was not a fan. Either way, we'll be ready to welcome this baby! (by the way, I've switched to boy now, not that matters b/c I was wrong on both of mine.)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Meet Our Little Miracle, Paisley Kate

The post I have been waiting 2 years to write is finally here and I can't really believe it. On Saturday, I woke up at 8:30 a.m. with BAD contractions. By the 2nd one, I knew I was in "real" labor. They were SO different than the braxton-hicks. I got out of bed and decided that I'd take a bath, until water ran down both legs. The pain after that got pretty unbearable immediately and I was having contractions every 2 1/2 to 3 minutes. So, I called Aaron at work to tell him it was "the big day". He decided I was kidding until I nearly leapt through the phone to wring his neck. :) We got to the hospital an hour later and I was dilated to a 4 and having very active contractions. They quickly got me moved to an L&D room. I got my epidural ( AMAZING - we'll talk about this in its own post soon) at a 6 and then my doctor broke my water. (Apparently at home, it had just leaked a pocket of fluid). After he broke my water, labor started picking up

The Resurrection

 So here we are.  It's now a blog graveyard.  The followers have long since moved on and infertility is something that I've somewhat put in the past (only considering I don't want any more kids).  So why am I here and writing again?  What's the purpose?   This was my safe place.  It was where I came when everything seemed much too hard and I needed to feel comfort.  I wanted to express myself in a venue that others would reassure me and even understand me.  I still love and have always loved this blog.  It guided me during some of the hardest years of my life, dealing with infertility and miscarriage. And you know... I guess it will help me again now.  Because life is freaking TOUGH.  You know the phrase "I've went through Hell and back"?  Yeah, I feel that in my soul now.  I could have a blowout in the middle lane of the highway during rush hour traffic, manage to pull over my car on the side and call for roadside assistance without my pulse increasing ev

I'm Going to Let You in on a Little Secret

My dear blog readers, Those of you who know me well know that I do not keep secrets. It's actually physically impossible for me to keep a secret. So, it's going to really surprise many of you to find out that I've been staying silent about something pretty big. So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to the little miracle that came into our lives 13 weeks ago: We wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while to make sure things went okay this time. It's been a very terrifying 13 weeks and we are just now starting to feel that things could actually go well. We feel incredibly blessed to be pregnant with this baby and we are so grateful for every minute. To my friends who are still battling infertility , I'm not even sure where to start. You've been there with me through it all. You've held my hand and given me a shoulder to cry on when times are tough. You always know the right things to say because you've been there before. And you pray and