Smiling Through the Rain

The stirrups were calling my name since it's been 6 weeks since I've been in any. So, I went for my postpartum check-up today. I was a little scared, to be honest, because I haven't had the guts nor the desire to look at those parts since they were sliced open from one end to the other. Not to mention the almost 8 pound baby that somehow squeezed through. I mean, you know it can't be good when they won't even let you wipe for a week... Anyways, she said things are healing well. I'll take her word for it. Then, we talked about birth control... And we decided that we don't know what to do. I do know that the mini-pill isn't a great option for me for 2 main reasons. 1.) It would make it impossible for me to know if my cycles are regular again or if we're back at square one. 2.) Progesterone makes me evil. I actually would have to prepare myself to leave the house when I was on it for infertility reasons because it made me a bit homicidal. Not kidding. ...

Let me tell you what I've discovered from my 5 weeks of parenting so far. No one can ever really prepare you for what being a mother is like, and I have learned a lot already. Some of these things I feel guilty for even admitting, but I know others think it too and I wish someone had told me that it was normal. Some of these I should have been smart enough to realize, but apparently I wasn't... 1.) My maternity clothes will not fit. They used to be the most comfortable clothes in the world, but now they fall off. The shirts fit strangely, the pants are all wrong, and the bella band is useless. 2.) My regular clothes will not fit. I made the unfortunate mistake of trying to put on a regular pair of jeans after realizing that my maternity pants wouldn't fit right. This tragedy resulted in a 10 minute tearful fit with my husband silently observing. He tried to offer encouragement such as, "I think you look great for just having a baby" and "it will take some tim...

Little Miss Priss went to the doctor today and she's growing like a weed. She's already 9 pounds, 2 ounces and 22 inches long. So that puts her in the 75% for length and 50% for weight. Her huge head is 15 inches and is between the 75-90 percentile. I'm telling you- it was NOT fun to push out. Things will NEVER be the same! She's currently fast asleep in the moby and I am happy to report that she has been sleeping about 4 hour stretches the past 4 nights. I keep waiting for that to fall apart again, but I'm sure enjoying it while it lasts. And although I feel guilty ever single day that she sleeps with us, it all melts away at night when she snuggles her tiny adorable body up next to mine and throws her sweet chubby hand up on my chest. Mmmm....I love it!!! I forgot to tell our bath story from the other night. I've figured out that bathing with her is just easier and we both end up clean that way. So, we just get in the tub which she loves and Aaron ...

My princess turned 1-month-old today!!! I can't believe that it's been 1 month since she came into my life. Look at her chubby little belly. She's gained about 3 more chins recently and has tons of fat rolls on her thighs now!

Dear Sleep, Thank you sincerely for visiting me and my dear little daughter last night. We were in desperate need of several hours from you and not just the tiny blocks of time that leave me wanting more. I have missed our relationship and realize that I really took you for granted prior to having Paisley, who apparently does not require your presence. Hope to get more frequent and longer visits from you in the future. (At least when she leaves for college.) Love, Amber My adorable little girl went to sleep at 11 last night and didn't wake up until 5 to eat!!! Now, the only problem with this situation is that I started waking up at 3 since I was certain she'd want to nurse soon. So, if only I could train myself to sleep in longer blocks of time again... She took a bottle from Aaron last night better than the previous attempts. We used the Nuk bottles (thanks Andrea) and she seemed to like it best. I thought she might since she takes pacifiers just fine. She still need...

We took Paisley to the state fair last night with our friends Mendy and Adam and their twin girls, Renna and Reagan. It was SOOO much fun!!! We had to take some pictures of the girls all getting to know each other since I'm sure they'll all be best friends. At least we hope they are since we enjoy hanging out with their parents... :) All the girls were so good and I learned that I can walk and nurse at the same time. Of course I used the hooter hider, even though I'm not sure it's really necessary at the fair. :) No one would have noticed! Pretty sure fair food does not sit well on Paisley's stomach considering she puked 4 times after we left. Someone mentioned gas drops which I'm going to try tonight and I will have to start watching my diet better. :( She doesn't get cranky when she pukes which is crazy, but I sure do need her to sleep at night! Something tells me none of it is going to help and that she just really has her days and nights ...

It's 2 am. I don't like to blog at 2 am, but Paisley apparently doesn't like to sleep now. So, I'm blogging before I lose my mind. On Wednesday, I posted that she was finally sleeping better. I cursed the whole thing. The past 3 nights have been rough . Tonight is the worst we've had so far. She's so good all day long, but when 10 or 11 pm hits, everything seems to fall apart. She thinks she wants to nurse, but it just seems to frustrate her at night. I rock her and she'll doze off, but as soon as I try to lay her down, she wakes up. It's one of those days that I don't feel like I have a clue what I'm doing. And I desperately need some sleep. UPDATE: We finally fell asleep at 3 am. Paisley is quite the night owl. She woke up at 6:30 to eat and then we got up at 9:30. She's in a great mood this morning as always and seems to have forgotten the night we had last night. Which I'm glad for because I don't want her to think I'm a...

Paisley's been going to work with her daddy on Tuesdays (with her clingy mom in tow). She loves it at the clinic! She stays awake most of the time we're there and soaks up all the attention she gets. I should follow up on my previous post about my "postpartum depression". I don't feel like it's fair to say I had a full-blown case of postpartum, considering it was really only 3-4 episodes of tearfulness/worry/feeling overwhelmed that lasted at most an hour each. Mine was completely attributed to sleep deprivation. I know some women have it much worse and I do not want anyone to assume that I think it is easy to get over true depression. With that said, I am really feeling like myself again!!! I feel like the old Amber is really finding her place in this new mommyhood business and we're even getting a little more of a routine down. Queen Paisley still tells me we have to get up once or twice a night to eat, but she's sleeping pretty good otherwi...

Where do I even begin with this story??? I'm warning you now, this post will not be pretty. But it will be funny. For you. And for my husband. Me- not so much. It all began after a really good day where I felt like I was really getting my crap together. Paisley and I slept better last night, ran around all day with Aaron doing fun stuff, etc. Then, the baby projectile-vomited all over me, the recliner and herself. Gross. Aaron and I get her cleaned up, wipe down the chair (thank goodness for microfiber) and I take off my shorts that she has puked all over. I just remain in my underwear and tank top since I need a shower anyways. Next, the cat vomits in the kitchen because he ate some hamburger meat that Aaron left on the kitchen counter when he came to rescue me from the vomit nightmare. I don't handle cat vomit well. For whatever reason, it really grosses me out. So it's a big deal when I volunteer to clean it up so Aaron can eat since he had helped me with h...

Last night went better, Paisley slept from 9 pm until 3 am. Unfortunately, I didn't go to bed until 11 since I was sure she'd wake up for another feeding. And trying to wake this little sleeping beauty up to eat is next to impossible. She can even sleep through a bath and never minds a diaper change. Already as stubborn as her dad! Tonight I got a 3-hour nap which felt amazing. I think I could have stayed asleep another 10 hours without waking up. Which is great because princess has been konked out most of the evening which could spell disaster for our overnight hours! Mainly, I wanted to thank everyone for the wonderful encouragement you all gave me about my emotional breakdown. It really hasn't been all that bad, but when I get tired- I'm a little irrational. Sleep has always been one of my favorite things and Paisley just doesn't agree with me on when it should happen. I miss going to bed when Aaron does and I really miss long, uninterrupted sleep. Tho...

Time to get real here and talk about the not-so-pretty-side of having a newborn for me. Let me start the whole post by saying that I love Paisley more than I ever knew I could love anyone and I wouldn't trade her for the world. And that 90% of the time, I'm ecstatic to be a mom. It's that other 10% that has kicked me in the hiney. And that's what I need to talk about. The moment she was born, everything changed drastically. My entire life took on a whole new meaning. I knew this would happen, but what I didn't know was how much it could change. I kinda feel like I'm living in a bubble right now. Not quite myself, but I can see the outline of my "old" life. I see the bed I napped in, the tub I used to take long baths in, and the yard where I used to hang out with my dogs. Now, I barely have time to take a shower every other day or so. I have attempted to take a bath and she always decides that it's a good time to eat again even if she...

I decided that I wanted to try the Moby wrap out to see how it would go since Paisley loves to be held and it turns out that it's really tough to do everything one-handed. So, here she is in it. Aaron first makes fun of it, calling it a "sheet" and then laughs hysterically. He then disappears which I think is a good thing, but returns with his own version of a Moby... He was super proud of himself and guaranteed that his cost a lot less than mine. Clever...

Paisley went to the pediatrician today and weighed 7 pounds, 15 ounces! She's gained 11 ounces in a week and is back to her birthweight and then some. So the pediatrician said I could let her sleep through the night without waking her to eat, which is great news since I already have been... although last night, she still woke up every 3-4 hours to eat. As much as she's eating, I would have been so disappointed if she hadn't gained! Exciting news in the breastfeeding world... I pumped for the 1st time yesterday and I got 3 ounces! I know it's not record-setting by any means, but I was excited that I could pump anything considering she's eating so frequently. And I pumped again today and got 3 ounces, so hopefully this will increase so I can build up a supply. She got her 1st "real" bath on Tuesday after her cord fell off, which went really well. She slept through most of it and only cried a little when we took her out. Her dad and I had absolutely ...