First of all, the D&C was by far the best idea. I don't even have to think about how things would have went at home. I had NO pain when I woke up, and it was the closest thing I can imagine to just having things "disappear". I had a tiny amount of spotting yesterday right after surgery but have had none since. Awesome! And I feel really good. I actually feel better. Now I realize that I think the pregnancy was making me feel pretty sick.
My operating room nurse who took me back to the OR told me that she lost a baby 26 years ago and she still misses that baby even now, especially on her due date. She did go on to have one baby, so she told me to keep hope. I bawled when she told me so she hugged me and the anesthesiologist put me to sleep so quickly through my IV that I don't remember anything else. She was just so kind to acknowledge what I was going through.
Funny story: Aaron, my mom and I were in the waiting room with just one other man. He was dressed very nicely and carrying a briefcase so I thought he might be a doctor. He was originally walking very slowly and almost painfully, but after downing four cups of coffee in a 10 minute time frame, he really got some pep in his step. He politely said hello and then asked if one of us was having surgery. I said I was and he immediately said his wife was having cataract surgery, followed by asking what I was having done. I told him D&C which I know he doesn't understand because his response was "that's great". Well, during my surgery, my poor support team was left alone with him. He went on to tell Aaron in an excited manner about how they just discovered another ring around Saturn. He had even printed off an article and pictures to show him... :) My question is why do we waste time and money on crap like that and none on paying for infertility or studying it?
My next question is why do my toenails look invisible when I don't have nail polish on them? This is why you will NEVER see my toenails unpainted...
This is what they should look like... I immediately repainted them when we got home.
So, I'm trying to look at today as a new beginning and not an ending. We will always miss this baby and this will forever change me as a person. But it will not stop us from trying. We are only that much more determined. Now we just have to wait for my hcg levels to come down and try again...
My operating room nurse who took me back to the OR told me that she lost a baby 26 years ago and she still misses that baby even now, especially on her due date. She did go on to have one baby, so she told me to keep hope. I bawled when she told me so she hugged me and the anesthesiologist put me to sleep so quickly through my IV that I don't remember anything else. She was just so kind to acknowledge what I was going through.
Funny story: Aaron, my mom and I were in the waiting room with just one other man. He was dressed very nicely and carrying a briefcase so I thought he might be a doctor. He was originally walking very slowly and almost painfully, but after downing four cups of coffee in a 10 minute time frame, he really got some pep in his step. He politely said hello and then asked if one of us was having surgery. I said I was and he immediately said his wife was having cataract surgery, followed by asking what I was having done. I told him D&C which I know he doesn't understand because his response was "that's great". Well, during my surgery, my poor support team was left alone with him. He went on to tell Aaron in an excited manner about how they just discovered another ring around Saturn. He had even printed off an article and pictures to show him... :) My question is why do we waste time and money on crap like that and none on paying for infertility or studying it?
My next question is why do my toenails look invisible when I don't have nail polish on them? This is why you will NEVER see my toenails unpainted...
This is what they should look like... I immediately repainted them when we got home.So, I'm trying to look at today as a new beginning and not an ending. We will always miss this baby and this will forever change me as a person. But it will not stop us from trying. We are only that much more determined. Now we just have to wait for my hcg levels to come down and try again...
Best of luck in your efforts. May all your dreams come true.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had a wonderful nurse! I'm so glad she was kind and gave you encouraging words. Thank God because could you imagine having a cold, heartless witch?
ReplyDeleteGlad the D&C went well and now you have a fresh new start. You have a great attitude. Never give up my dear because you will have your baby...I've been down your road a few times and I know deep in my heart that I will be a mom and that is why I keep trying.
Love the toes! And the guy in the waiting room-priceless! I feel bad for your family having to listen to him. I'm with you-forget space, let's work on inferitlity research! Fund our research and donate to us!
Here is to the future...
babyparamore.blogspot.com
Hey Amber -- I found your blog on SoulCysters. I'm sorry to hear what you've gone through but excited to know your resolve to keep trying. Keep the faith!
ReplyDeleteI'm unmarried, so I'm not TTC yet, but I've just started a blog about general PCOS/women's health issues if you ever want to stop by. (healthyanyway.blogspot.com) I'll be checking your blog. You are a GREAT writer; I can relate to both your pain and happiness through it. Hang in there, and I'll be praying for you and your husband!
I am glad to hear that things went well yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the surgery went well. You have a great attitude...it's impressive.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad things went well, I thought about you all day yesterday. I love your attitude - way to stay strong!!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you had to go through this Amber. It sounds like you had a fabulous nurse, though, and that makes a huge difference. Glad you're feeling better and thinking positively about the future. All the best.
ReplyDeleteBTW, love the red toenails!
Your the only one I know who looks fabulous before surgery.. even the unpainted toes.. When are you going back to work... Hope you are doing ok.. Love ya Jennifer
ReplyDeleteSo grateful that things went well yesterday, and that you are feeling good. I am still very faithful that God will answer your prayers because He knows the deepest desires of our hearts! Anytime you need my undying optimism....just let me know!!! (And for the record, we just finished studying the solar system and my 2nd graders really cared about Saturn's new second ring.)
ReplyDelete