Saturday, July 18, 2009
Game Over: Try again next month
I'm sure you already know from the title who showed up today. And not only did she show up, but it was a grand arrival... I woke up to take my temp (which had sadly fallen) so I already knew what was coming. I stood up to go to the restroom and passed a LOT of blood clots. Oops, should have warned the faint-hearted about TMI.
Anyways, I've had a rather unpleasant day of bloating, cramping and possibly bleeding to death. :) I even questioned whether it could be a miscarriage since I'm usually more of a spotter. So, I took a pregnancy test which was negative (aren't they all?). Aaron's affectionately titled this my $420 period. (That's what we've paid for co-pays and IUI this month).
Saddest part is Aaron's reaction to it. I expected it so I was really fine, but Aaron looked like someone had just stolen his puppy dog. He even asked if I was sure I couldn't be pregnant because sometimes girls spot on their period. I made him check out my trail of "spots" I made on the way to the restroom. "Spots" don't require bleach, a bath, and the carpet cleaner.
So, we start again. Every month I'm not sure I want to endure another day of it, but everytime I think of Aaron's face when again I'm not pregnant, I know I have to. He's been so incredible through all of this and I know he'll make the best dad in the world. It does make me realize that if I had a failed IVF what I would feel like. I feel like I worked my butt off this month and went through 4 ultrasounds, 4 blood draws and IUI to get nothing.
I did get to go visit my cousin in Dallas today and see her little girls. I played with Baby M for a long time which was great and I've posted pics of her below for you to see. Then we went to see Baby K in the NICU which was both amazing and heart-wrenching. She looks much better than a baby should look considering she's had open heart surgery, CPR, and tons of treatment in 2 weeks of life. She's hanging in there and I was in awe looking at her today. I didn't take any pictures of her since her chest is still open and she's hooked up to so much. Maybe soon...