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Game Over: Try again next month

I'm sure you already know from the title who showed up today. And not only did she show up, but it was a grand arrival... I woke up to take my temp (which had sadly fallen) so I already knew what was coming. I stood up to go to the restroom and passed a LOT of blood clots. Oops, should have warned the faint-hearted about TMI.

Anyways, I've had a rather unpleasant day of bloating, cramping and possibly bleeding to death. :) I even questioned whether it could be a miscarriage since I'm usually more of a spotter. So, I took a pregnancy test which was negative (aren't they all?). Aaron's affectionately titled this my $420 period. (That's what we've paid for co-pays and IUI this month).

Saddest part is Aaron's reaction to it. I expected it so I was really fine, but Aaron looked like someone had just stolen his puppy dog. He even asked if I was sure I couldn't be pregnant because sometimes girls spot on their period. I made him check out my trail of "spots" I made on the way to the restroom. "Spots" don't require bleach, a bath, and the carpet cleaner.

So, we start again. Every month I'm not sure I want to endure another day of it, but everytime I think of Aaron's face when again I'm not pregnant, I know I have to. He's been so incredible through all of this and I know he'll make the best dad in the world. It does make me realize that if I had a failed IVF what I would feel like. I feel like I worked my butt off this month and went through 4 ultrasounds, 4 blood draws and IUI to get nothing.

I did get to go visit my cousin in Dallas today and see her little girls. I played with Baby M for a long time which was great and I've posted pics of her below for you to see. Then we went to see Baby K in the NICU which was both amazing and heart-wrenching. She looks much better than a baby should look considering she's had open heart surgery, CPR, and tons of treatment in 2 weeks of life. She's hanging in there and I was in awe looking at her today. I didn't take any pictures of her since her chest is still open and she's hooked up to so much. Maybe soon...















Comments

  1. JessJuly 18, 2009 at 10:56 PM

    I'm so sorry! I know how much this hurts and my heart aches for you and your hubby. I will never forget our first round of clomid and G's face during my first BFN.

    I'm so scared to do an IUI for that very reason, the $420 period. However, if you get a BFP, the $420 would be so worth it. It truly is a gamble.

    I would call your doctor on Monday and let him know about your bleeding because I bled like that when I had a early miscarriage. It could be nothing but you never know.

    You look so happy with baby M, and I can't wait to see baby K. I pray that you will have yours soon!

    babyparamore.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. KatieJuly 18, 2009 at 11:46 PM

    I'm sorry to hear your IUI was a bust. If it makes you feel any better, mine was too (but we had a chemical pregnancy). Are you going to do another one this cycle? My AF came today also, so now we are cycle buddies! Here's to renewed hope and a really good attitude!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. KandiceJuly 19, 2009 at 10:53 AM

    I'm so sorry to hear this. Hope we are still having dinner Thursday. I know you will have a lot to say and I"ll be here to listen. The heartache that comes with this struggle is indescribable. I pray that you guys wont' have to endure it much longer.

    ReplyDelete
  4. TaraJuly 19, 2009 at 11:11 AM

    Thinking of you...

    ReplyDelete
  5. colbydvmJuly 19, 2009 at 2:49 PM

    I hate that for you guys. There's about been enough bumps in this road already! I can't imagine how frustrating and heartbreaking this has been for the both of you. So will you you try another IUI after the trip or what?

    ReplyDelete

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