Amber and Aaron

Amber and Aaron

The Fun We've Already Had...

  • Graham Tomas born July 31 at 5:04 P.M. weighing 8 lbs, 12 oz.
  • December 2, 2011: PREGNANT!!!
  • Paisley Kate arrived August 21 at 5:38 P.M. weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz
  • DUE DATE: August 25, 2010!!!
  • Dec. 14, 2009- PREGNANT!!!
  • Oct. 07,2009- Had elective D&C.
  • Sept 28, 2009- No embryo on ultrasound. :(
  • Sept 15th, 2009- We found out we're PREGNANT!!!
  • Sept '09- Aaron had varicocele repair.
  • July '09- IUI #1 with HCG shot= No such luck
  • April '09- Ovarian drilling surgery, followed by hospitalization for uterine infection
  • Jan-Mar '09- metformin + 3 rounds of clomid= no ovulation
  • Dec. 11, 2008- Hysterosalpingogram (Fancy word for shooting dye through the ovaries. OUCH)
  • Nov '08- Sent to RE. Tried metformin alone for two months (No ovulation)
  • Oct '08- Diagnosed with PCOS based on amenorrhea and crazy hormone levels.
  • June '08- Aaron convinced me to start trying.
  • June '04- Got Hitched!

Monday, July 6, 2009

The Rollercoaster is making me nauseated

No one ever told me that infertility would be one giant rollercoaster. No one warned me that one day you would see the "light at the end of the tunnel" and feel ecstatic, and the very next day have all of that ripped away from you and feel absolute despair. No one prepared me for the giant choices, risks, financial strain, and relationship issues that infertility would bring. No one told me how hard it would be to accept that I may not ever be a mom.

I guess I was expecting wonderful things today and it didn't go as terrible as I'm making it sound, but we got a little more info about things to consider. Taking all factors into consideration, Dr. Haas gives us about a 10% chance (aka: "snowball's chance in hell) of conceiving with IUI. A normal couple has about 25% every month. He says that he'll do it 4 times at most and if it doesn't work by then, it probably won't work.

At that point, we have to consider other options. One of which is using donor sperm. They're able to use samples from men who are "super producers". This increases the chance of fertilization to about 40-50% per cycle. It's a rather cheap option, but obviously wouldn't have my wonderful husband's genetics. Plus, if I choose either donor egg or sperm, I would prefer it be from someone we know and I'm doubting I'll have many offers for sperm. Thanks to the girls who have SO kindly offered eggs.

The other option is IVF. Everyone quickly assumes that this is such a great choice. Yeah, it works for a lot of people. But it also comes with a price tag of $15,000 for one cycle. You don't get that money back if it doesn't work. Quite a gamble to take, even with a success rate of 70%. Not to mention the uncountable injections, doctor's visits, ultrasounds, bloodwork, etc. which could potentially be followed by a negative pregnancy test.

I understand that you can't put a price tag on a child, but at the same time no one can give me ANY guarantees about anything, nor tell me what to do. What if I give up the month before I would have gotten pregnant? What if we continue to drain our bank accounts every month for 2 years and find out that we'll never be able to conceive? At what point do I say "enough is enough"???


  1. I am so confused. Why is there a problem? i thought you had mature follicles? Were you able to do the IUI?

    Praying that it will all work out in God's timing! Don't give up!!

  2. Sorry that you're frustrated...can't imagine your perseverance so far. Hang in there!

  3. I have my good days and bad days...I'm not always positive! I will probably crumble if I get another BFN. :(

    Why only 10% chance with IUI? There are some doctors who charge more but do a money back guarantee for IVF. That is something to look into.

    I wonder the same question, when will we say enough is enough? It is a hard thing to ask when we want a baby so bad.

  4. I hate this for you Amber. Wish there was more I could say...just know Robbie and I think of you often and pray that you'll find a peace that passes all understanding.

  5. I struggle with the idea of donor eggs and sperm, too. What about trying just one round of IVF? Then you would know if it's something you would do again, and you'd know you at least tried. And who knows? It might be exactly what makes the magic happen!

    Check into clinics that have a "Shared Risk" program. They usually have some sort of deal where you pay a reduced fee for three tries. If all 3 tries are unsuccessful, they refund the money. If you're lucky on the 1st try, though, you end up paying more than you would've for 1 round (thus the "shared" part of the risk).