Where do I even begin with this story??? I'm warning you now, this post will not be pretty. But it will be funny. For you. And for my husband. Me- not so much.
It all began after a really good day where I felt like I was really getting my crap together. Paisley and I slept better last night, ran around all day with Aaron doing fun stuff, etc. Then, the baby projectile-vomited all over me, the recliner and herself. Gross.
Aaron and I get her cleaned up, wipe down the chair (thank goodness for microfiber) and I take off my shorts that she has puked all over. I just remain in my underwear and tank top since I need a shower anyways.
Next, the cat vomits in the kitchen because he ate some hamburger meat that Aaron left on the kitchen counter when he came to rescue me from the vomit nightmare. I don't handle cat vomit well. For whatever reason, it really grosses me out. So it's a big deal when I volunteer to clean it up so Aaron can eat since he had helped me with her vomit.
I proceed to clean up the vomit while dry-heaving. Apparently, the dry-heaving was too much for my post-baby bladder to handle because I PEED on myself. Now, I've been really ticked off because I'm still having to wear stupid pads due to light bleeding for 3 weeks. I now realize that it's a good thing I was since it soaked it up. I never once leaked during my whole pregnancy!!!
At this point, I'm pretty sure it can't get any worse. Until I sit down to write this post with the baby on my lap... I had noticed earlier that her newborn sized diapers are getting a little snug and not fitting well in the back anymore. You might see where this is going... She peed on my lap.
Moral of the story: don't eat jalapeno cheeseburgers while breastfeeding (may cause vomiting), cats don't tolerate hamburger meat, put your baby in proper-size diapers, and do your kegel exercises!!!
It all began after a really good day where I felt like I was really getting my crap together. Paisley and I slept better last night, ran around all day with Aaron doing fun stuff, etc. Then, the baby projectile-vomited all over me, the recliner and herself. Gross.
Aaron and I get her cleaned up, wipe down the chair (thank goodness for microfiber) and I take off my shorts that she has puked all over. I just remain in my underwear and tank top since I need a shower anyways.
Next, the cat vomits in the kitchen because he ate some hamburger meat that Aaron left on the kitchen counter when he came to rescue me from the vomit nightmare. I don't handle cat vomit well. For whatever reason, it really grosses me out. So it's a big deal when I volunteer to clean it up so Aaron can eat since he had helped me with her vomit.
I proceed to clean up the vomit while dry-heaving. Apparently, the dry-heaving was too much for my post-baby bladder to handle because I PEED on myself. Now, I've been really ticked off because I'm still having to wear stupid pads due to light bleeding for 3 weeks. I now realize that it's a good thing I was since it soaked it up. I never once leaked during my whole pregnancy!!!
At this point, I'm pretty sure it can't get any worse. Until I sit down to write this post with the baby on my lap... I had noticed earlier that her newborn sized diapers are getting a little snug and not fitting well in the back anymore. You might see where this is going... She peed on my lap.
Moral of the story: don't eat jalapeno cheeseburgers while breastfeeding (may cause vomiting), cats don't tolerate hamburger meat, put your baby in proper-size diapers, and do your kegel exercises!!!
Haha! I'm sorry - that was a funny post to read!...especially because we had the puking and peeing today too! Wouldn't trade it for the world though! :P Hope tomorrow is a bit better for you!
ReplyDeletehahaha sorry to laugh but it was a great story to share!! I have not peed myself but I have been peed and pooped and puked on SO many times it's ridiculous!!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but laugh, but this happened to me too, but at 3am the other morning!
ReplyDeleteLOLOL!!! omg, the things I have to look forward to! At least there was no poop involved....
ReplyDelete