Smiling Through the Rain

Overall, this was a great year for us. We welcomed our beautiful son who quickly terrified us with a case of meningitis and watched our gorgeous daughter become a funny, independent 2-year-old with a love of all animals and a hatred for mornings. I gained 35 pounds with my giant fetus. Then I lost 33 pounds. I think the remaining 2 is in the milk makers. I have spent about 1000 hours nursing over the past 5 months. Luckily I haven't had to pump much this time because he eats ALOT. We changed about 15 diapers a day between 2 kids, so my math says that in 2012 we changed 1.3 million. Give or take a few. :). You're welcome, Pampers. We just conquered our 2nd year as owners of the vet clinic. It was another successful year! We went to Vegas for Aaron's vet conference, on a cruise to the Caribbean, and to the Dominican Republic for vacation. Learned that Paisley is a great traveler, Also figured out that traveling for 12 hrs while 7 months pregnant is e...

Having two kids is drastically different than one. My time is now split into trying to keep two little people happy and fed and bathed. I have two people fighting for my attention and needing their mama. Most of the time it goes fine. Paisley adores Graham as if he belongs to her and loves to help me change him, dress him and love on him. Her jealousy is really nonexistent. In fact, I feel like we have a best case scenario as far as adding a sibling goes. When it gets tricky is when they both have a need for mommy and I have to choose. You know the moments. One has a poop explosion all over the living room while the other decides to fall and hurt themselves. Or when one is super tired and needs to be rocked while the other is hungry. Or even which one to load into the car first when it's freaky butt cold outside. Whose needs are more important? How do you decide? Every day I lay down at night and think about what I could have done different and hope that my two bab...

Yay!!! I guess blogger let me post pictures again for my Christmas present!!!

Every year this happens and every year I forget that it does. The holidays start getting closer and I literally lose my mind. As a child, I loved Christmas. And since I got married, that all changed. I feel like the whole event is crammed pack with obligations to be so many places that we are exhausted and overstuffed and cranky by the end. I am so jealous of the one house families who can relax in one place and even nap after eating. We put on our track shoes Christmas Eve and race through the holiday like Jackie Joyner Kersey. Not sure on spelling, but you get the point... We eat all we can muster to avoid hurt feelings and conjure up as much bonding time as possible in a short period. I know what you're thinking. Cut back. Don't do as much. But it just isn't possible to leave these houses out. We've already left everything out that we possibly can. And don't even get me started on how much I want the decorations down, the presents opened and put...

Oh, that would be me. Graham chose to kick off our day by showering me with urine this morning while I was trying to figure out which diaper was his and which was his sisters. (Size 3 looks just like size 5 in the morning). At first it just hit my jeans but my reaction time is ridiculously slow when I first wake up so he also got my shirt and the couch. This kid's bladder seems to have an amazingly large capacity considering how wet everything was. You know you've really hit a low point in your life when you don't even consider changing clothes and just pat yourself off with a wipe. At least the kid wasn't in his clean clothes yet.

Once upon a time, there was this infertile girl who started this blog in order to reach out to others who were in the same position as her. She hoped to find girls that would understand what she was going through. What she learned was that this community would oftentimes be her saving grace. They would encourage her when she was worried, celebrate with her when she was happy and mourn with her when times went bad. These girls she'd never meet in real life were going to become some of her best friends. The number of followers grew and grew and she loved reading the comments that people left. Every now and then she would even meet someone in person who was a follower. It was such a huge compliment to realize that people actually liked the crap she was writing. But then the infertile girl did the unthinkable. She got pregnant. And the blog entered new territory. Happiness. Success. But she felt sad because she couldn't bring all of her blog friends along for the ri...

It's official. Graham has been coerced by his big sister to stop being a good sleeper. I don't know how she convinced him or why she even thinks no sleep is a good idea. But I know she's to blame here. Let's recap sleep on our house. Pre-Paisley: lots of sleep whenever we felt like it. The only thing that would risk waking me in the middle of the night was a full bladder. I could sleep 10 hours at night and then nap for 3 the next day. The Paisley Era: from night one of her life, she decided that you can sleep when you die and she didn't plan on missing out on things. She kept me up ALL night every night. Even now, she never sleeps more than 9-10 hours at night and still doesn't want to go down. She is just now napping consistently because I insisted out if necessity for my well-being. The Graham Era: he was the sleeper I'd always dreamt about. Sleeping 4-5 hour stretches even in the hospital. He'd only wake to eat and then happily fal...

Several things I forgot to mention in my previous post. The little potty chair that we originally got disgusted me. The thing looks cute and innocent until the first exposure to bodily fluids. Then I feel it should be thrown into a red biohazard bag, airtight sealed, and picked up by men wearing hazmat suits. Because your options in cleaning that sucker are pretty limited. 1.) rinse in sink. Gross. 2.) rinse in bath tub. Gross and inconvenient. 3.) dishwasher. Not possible and super gross. So, we said out with that idea and bought an Elmo potty ring that fits on the "big potty". She also has a stool that she uses to mount the big potty. Here's where a stubborn child comes into play: she has to do everything h herself. So potty time takes us 45 minutes. No kidding. Her dad and I take snacks in there and I'm thinking of mounting a TV above the toilet. She must move the stool over to the potty from the sink. Then she removes her pants and shoes co...

I hope no one clicks on this post expecting to find great advice on the topic of potty training because I can promise you, it won't be here.  In fact, I would recommend avoiding my blog for all helpful tips on pregnancy and child-rearing, and certainly on conception, since let's face it.  I suck at all 3.  Yeah, my kids are healthy and happy and very loved.  But am I doing things that follow any book ever written even loosely?  Not a chance.  We're paving our own way and enjoying it for the most part.  So potty training is the same thing.  I haven't read a book or asked much in the way of advice or even brainstormed on it much.  No clue what Pinterest says on this topic.  Shocking, right?!? But anyways, here's our story in a nutshell.  Paisley got a potty chair right before her 2nd birthday.  I sat it out to let her get "curious".  She got interested and wanted to sit on it and play with it which I found disgusting....

We took the kids to Bass Pro last night to meet Santa. They have such a great setup for kids during the holidays. Their Santa looks authentic and he's super nice, they have fun games to play and the decorations are adorable. I was pretty certain that Paisley would like him again this year since she has this strange love of all grown ups in costumes. The Chick-fil-a cow, a giant mouse at a local game place, etc. And as expected, she happily jumped on his lap for pictures after talking to him briefly. Graham was asleep when I handed him over but woke up as soon as I made the transfer. He just drowsily glanced up at the giant white beard. Looks like that might have scared him, but apparently mom and Santa look just alike. ;) You might recall that I am a humongous holiday Scrooge, but I have to admit that these kids are bringing back the spirit for me!!!

It occurred to me today that all parents have a very different routine with their kids.  For us, we stay busy.  Busy kids are happy kids and then sleepy kids.  Which is good.  Paisley and Graham are both more content if we're running around and doing things rather than staying at home.  She gets bored with her own toys and would much rather be exploring the world she lives in.  And I'm glad because I feel the same way!  Aaron and I were never home-bodies before children and it makes me panic a bit to think about ever being snowed in the house with these 2 kids. SO, I thought I'd post about what we do to pass the time during the typical week. Monday :  Kids wake up about 8:30 am (they don't go to sleep until about 10ish) and we typically go to the vet clinic in the mornings.  Getting ready takes us about an hour though because Paisley is NOT a morning person and it takes a bit of warming up before she's ready for the general...

It's official. Paisley has inherited our sarcasm and sense of humor. She knows when to use it and how to use it. And she thoroughly enjoys herself. This little girl makes me laugh all the time. She's feisty and silly and independent. I know she enjoys her life and that makes me feel so fulfilled as her mom. Her language has been exploding lately and she now strings together as many words as she can come up with. She still favors "Paisley do it", "Paisley fix it" and "Paisley get it". Miss Independent. She now calls us cuckoo and waves her finger in a large circle. She'll say "dada cuckoo". :) She asks for her "blue mo" which is milk in her blue sippy. Or whichever color she decides it will taste best on that day. And she loves to recap the day with me before we fall asleep at night. He'll remind me of all the things we did. She knows all of her colors, with ridiculous ones like fuchsia and seafoam...

This body of mine has beared two babies in a 2 year period of time. It has shot one out of the lower region and had another cut out of the belly. These breasts are now open to their 2nd booby buffet patron. My hair is constantly being ratted by my well meaning daughter who asks for "hair, please" when she is relaxing on my lap and wants to hold my hair. My clothes usually smell of some type of bodily fluid. And my make-up is frequently slobbered off my face due to sweet open mouth kisses on my cheeks or forehead. So it's all lead me to the place where we are now. P90X. Otherwise known as the cause of my impending death. I started two days ago and knew how difficult people said it was. But I thought, "I have worked out my whole life. Surely I can do this." Except it is on a different level of difficult. It is like a circus act meets strongman competition meets marathon runner kind of workout. And it kicked my butt. The fitness test they hav...

We are officially and most certainly shutting down the baby making warehouse. I have absolutely no doubt that this is it for me and I feel great about ending that chapter. We have our son and daughter and feel very complete now. Sometimes it feels overly complete in fact. :) So it's strange to change gears back to prevention of pregnancy. I tried the mini pill (aka: Amber's psychotic medication). Progesterone pills made me flippin crazy when I was using them for infertility but I was assured that the lower dose in the mini pill would cause no problems. Except it did. It just took longer to kick in, but then the anger and the self pity took over my normal personality. So much so that I was texting my OB on a Saturday begging her to order my IUD. Stat. She unfortunately likes to do them with ultrasound guidance so I'm scheduled for the 23rd. And it sucks because I'll likely only have the IUD for less than a year because once I wean Graham I need the com...

Everyone and their dog has an opinion about breast feeding and who should do it and for how long and where and how. We've all gotten our fair share of advice and unsolicited thoughts on the matter. For me, breast feeding has been the only thing I've excelled at when it comes to child bearing/raising. I failed miserably at getting pregnant and only carried 66.6% of my pregnancies to term. Labor and delivery gurus would probably give me a failing grade since I almost died waiting for my first epidural and then had a c-section on the 2nd. But the babies have been well fed. And I'm thankful for the money saved and the ease of the nursing. However, I know how freakin tough this is for many women and lactation consultants just don't seem to get that. When Graham was in the hospital for meningitis, I got a well-meaning phone call from the lactation nazi on staff. She was asking how nursing was going and reiterating how important it was that I continued. I hadn...

I didn't know anyone who had both types of deliveries so no one could tell me what they preferred other than what they'd already had. People with vaginal births think that's the only way while caesarean mamas mostly praise that route of delivery. Sooo, I went into my surgery considering it almost a type of science experiment. It would be a strange one to enter into a show and I wouldn't recommend pictures to demonstrate... But, here's my comparison: 1.) C-sections are much quicker. My first labor experience lasted 9 hours which is actually short for a 1st time mom. The second was over in 2 hours from check in to baby in arms. And most of that was sewing me up. 2.) Vaginal deliveries take a LOT more work! The pain, the waiting, the pushing. Even with my amazing epidural, I was tired. Every muscle in my body was pooped out. 3.) I don't have any urinary problems this time. After my vaginal birth, I peed a little every time I sneezed or coughed. ...

Today, I read the blog (snips-snails-puppydogtails.blogspot.com) of a girl I consider a good friend even if we've never met. She has a precious little boy named Grayson who is very close in age to Paisley. Long and heartbreaking story short, they found out yesterday that he has a disease that is terminal. And it breaks my heart to the point that I've actually cried several times today thinking of him. This is such a wonderful mother who gives her all to taking care of him and making his life as enriching and happy as she can. I can't stand that she has to deal with this now. All day since reading the bad news on her blog, I've held my kids a little tighter. I've kissed them more and done fewer chores and soaked in each little second with them. And I'm going to remind myself every single morning from here on out to appreciate it all. Send her some encouragement when you get a chance. I have no words for this situation and I can't even imagine wha...

I was shocked and at the same time, prepared, when they sent me to the hospital.  I called Aaron to head that way since he needed our relief vet to cover the last few hours of the work day, I called our friend Todd who was doing my anesthesia.  Much to my relief, he was just finishing an amputation so he was available immediately.  And of course, I called my mom who was watching Paisley.  They had just left her doctor's appointment where they were told she just had a virus.  THE virus that would turn into Graham's viral mengitis. I drove myself to the hospital and on the way, called one of the girls that works at our clinic so she could come watch Paisley this evening so my mom could come to the hospital.  I texted everyone too so they would know that we were getting a head-start on this baby's arrival.  Got in to L&D and changed into my flattering hospital gown.  They really need to do something about those because when you're pregna...

July 30th, I woke up with the worst head cold ever.  I couldn't breathe out of my nose, my sinuses felt like they would burst open at any minute, and I was groggy feeling like I'd taken WAY too much benadryl.  And I never handle being sick well, but this day it made me even angrier than usual for 2 reasons.  1.) I was scheduled to deliver my baby in 2 short days.  2.) It was my birthday. So, I pretty much pouted myself through the day while trying my hardest to get some important things done off my list of crap-that-needs-accomplished-before-baby-2-arrives.  But I went to bed that night feeling pretty rotten and didn't even go anywhere for dinner.  The next morning I woke up feeling about 80% better thankfully and headed to the clinic to get some things done since it was supposed to be my last day before delivery.  I'd been having contractions all day on the 30th and they were picking up steam this day.  They were every 3-4 minutes but I could...

We had a party for Paisley tonight with her grandparents and a friend her age. We had to postpone her actual party since Graham can't be around lots of kids or people. It was great though and she loved it! I can't believe my girl is 2!!!!

Jazz Hands!!! He looks just like Paisley here How loveable!!! The only picture our very stubborn little girl chose to be in No idea how he got this shot, but I love it!!!! My beautiful baby boy!!! Someone commented on my last post about Graham looking chunkier and he is!  He is up to 9 pounds, 3 ounces after a 13 ounce weight gain in a week following hospitalization!!!!  I'm so proud of my great nurser.  :)

Yep, today I discovered that I am indeed "that mom". You know the one you never want to be. The one other moms judge because you just aren't like them. I knew I'd never be a PTA-leading, cookie-baking, apron-wearing kinda mom. Just not my style. It shocks people that I feel overwhelmed by and uninterested in Pinterest. Crazy, I know! But as I picked Paisley up from her 1st day of mother's day out for the fall, I realized that all of the other kids carry really adorable backpacks with their names embroidered on them. My child carried this "fancy" black bag with her name taped to the strap. How sad. I am on a hunt to buy her a cute bag tonight. Or else she will be the kid they feel sorry for. And I also sent her a Lunchable to eat. I bet the other moms sent homemade delicacies with extra love mixed in...

Let me start by retracting an earlier made statement about not liking the "newborn phase".  Turns out, I actually love it this time around.  Not only because I have experience, but because I got an awesomely good baby.  Like the majorly Type B, calm, sweet, easily soothed baby that makes everyone jealous.  Yep, lucky me.  He seriously has made life so much better.  He sleeps at least 4 hours at night and even went 6 hours last night before eating and then returning to sleep.  In his bassinett.  Did you hear that, people?!?  He isn't even co-sleeping.  Well, most of the time.  But he's doing it then because I need to snuggle him, not because he cares!   Just goes to show that you can't control what type of baby you have!!! Breastfeeding is going well and I'm already having to pump to get the excess milk off in the mornings which I'm hoping I can donate again to the NICU.  He's a good little eater which I'm tha...

I know I still have lots to talk about and I've honestly had the time to do so while sitting around in hospital rooms waiting for something to happen.  But I just haven't done it.  Instead, I've spent a lot of time loving on my sweet baby boy and praying that he'd be okay.  Which now, he is. We got to come home after a 2 day stay for stupid meningitis which is incredibly unlikely to happen.  The pediatrician at the hospital described our situation as "the perfect storm" meaning that a series of unlikely events all had to happen to lead to such a crapfest.  I happened to get enterovirus days before delivery, he happened to catch it, and it happened to turn into meningitis.  Awesome. But as for all of the good news, he is obviously doing well!  And he is an incredibly peaceful, calm baby.  Which I'm totally not used to so I'm not sure what to do with myself.  I just want to hold him all the time, but also need him to be okay with being...

Well, poor Graham has been in the hospital since early Tuesday morning due to a fever. We woke up that morning and he was running a fever so we went to the ER where he was admitted. We've had two lumbar punctures, bloodwork, IV fluids, a chest x ray, IV antibiotics, etc. Today he was diagnosed with viral meningitis. Paisley and I were sick the day before he was born which is likely where he got it. Unfortunately, his turned into meningitis. This will pass like any virus and he'll be fine. We just pray to go home soon because I miss Paisley!!!! My emotions have been out of control with this. Having major surgery, meeting your newborn, leaving your older child, etc takes a major toll quickly! I had a complete breakdown today when I learned that we could be here at least 48 more hours if not more! We are just so glad he'll be okay. What a terrifying experience.

We are recovering well and should go home today to start living under one roof as a family of 4! Paisley seems to love him so far which has been great. She wants to love on him and talks to him a lot. She says "it's okay" if he cries and gently caresses his leg. She hasn't been jealous of me with him at all which I'm thrilled about! Little man is a champion nurser so now I just need milk to come in. He sleeps a ton which is bizarre since P never slept at all. In fact, I had trouble getting him to wake up after 5 hours to nurse last night. He hardly ever cries at all and seems to love his mama! We are already co-sleeping (que the controversy). Love it!!! He is an excellent snuggler. I'm feeling really good which is such a great surprise! I have been up an around. And I've only had one Percocet and my pain is controlled with ibuprofen. So, life with two may be quite simple if this baby will keep being easy!!!

Well, Graham Thomas decided to cause enough stir today to send me into labor! So I delivered a healthy 8 pound, 12 ounce baby boy by caesarean at 5:06 pm. It was a much easier delivery and we're both doing well!!!

I cannot believe we'll be meeting our baby tomorrow!!! I actually would have bet money that it would have already happened considering the contractions I've been having for about 3 days! But apparently they are just for fun. I keep trying to tell my body that we don't need practice contractions since it isn't going down like that... Today I see my OB for a last check up and then go to the hospital for bloodwork and to pre- admit!!! Crazy to think that in a little over 24 hours, we'll have a newborn and Paisley will be a big sister!!!!!

As the day has drawn nearer to my c-section and the birth of my 2nd child, I've started to  worry panic a bit.   I'm not so much worried about my surgery.  I've assisted on plenty of caesareans and honestly, I'm kinda eager to experience a delivery in which I don't have to labor or push.  That episiotomy was nasty business to heal from and working my tail-end off for 9 hours (I know it could have been a lot longer) to deliver something big out of your hoo-ha is just not all that enjoyable to me. But I am seriously panicked about having 2 kids.  I feel like life is finally manageable with Paisley.  She's in mother's day out now which gives me some free time.  She plays on her own some.  We all sleep through the night every single night.  This girl of mine is super funny and awesome to be around. Yet I'm about to re-enter the "all-I-do-is-breastfeed-and-listen-to-a-baby-cry" phase of my life.  And I didn't exactly love it the 1st...

Since my caesarean has been scheduled for August 1st, somehow I've made up my mind that it will for sure, 100%, definitely be that day that our baby is born.  No chance in this world that I can go into labor early or need to be taken in before that date.  Like our doctor has notified God, nature, my cervix and this baby who is no doubt as stubborn as his/her big sister that nothing shall happen until our scheduled date. And maybe part of it is that I made it to 39.5 weeks with Paisley, so I assume that the same would happen again.  Part may be that, mentally, I really need to know that I have 9 more days with just Paisley.  Yep, seems short but it's still 9 days.  And each and every day lately has been super precious to me. We've been going to the Science Museum, play gym, the park, story time, movies, swimming, etc pretty much every day.  And I've LOVED every second of it.  I just want to soak up the time with us before this new o...

We've made it to the biggest goal of pregnancy.  Full term today.  Even if the baby has been measuring full-term for about 3 weeks now... :) I still feel really good.  Only been sleeping about 7 hours at night with 1-2 bathroom breaks, but feeling rested and ready to play with Paisley.  I haven't even been getting any naps in!   Weight gain is at 29 pounds and I'm feeling pretty proud of it since this baby is bigger and my goal was to limit it to 30 pounds total.  With baby coming in no more than 2 weeks, it looks like it may happen! My mom and I took Paisley to a public pool to swim this week and I was surprised about how much children are fascinated by a big pregnant belly.  Within minutes of arriving, I was surrounded by a group of young kids asking questions.  We started with normal ones like "Can I touch it?"  My answer is always yes.  I've never been one to mind being fondled by strangers while pregnant.  I love my pr...